newyorkunicycleblog

The Cycle of Life

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Pigeons and My Happy Life

While unicycling along the sidewalk today, I got brushed by a low-flying pigeon that made me think about how lucky my life has been.

Of course, that wasn't my first thought. As the bird's wings flapped wildly but gently against my chest, the first thing that went thru my mind was, "Whoa, a pigeon is flapping its wings wildly but gently on my chest." My next impulse was to check if it had left a present on my sweater (it hadn't). And then came the onslaught of unpredictable mental activity, as follows:

grazed by pigeon ...while unicycling
I was grazed by a bus once
...while unicycling
NY Yankee Dave Winfield once killed a pigeon accidentally
Shirra loves Dave Winfield
We met him on our 1990 'baseball trip' to Chicago
That trip solidified our feelings towards each other
We got married 3 years later
If that bus hadn't swerved in time, I'd have been killed
...and Maeve would not have been born
...Boy am I a lucky guy...

I enjoy trains of thought of this sort. They're like mental vacations, except that you're not sure where they're going.

I also like looking at something in the past that had to happen in order for your life to turn out the way it did. In my life, that's easy: If I hadn't gone into a particular clothing store back in 1989, my life would have turned out completely differently.

Train of events:
Enter clothing store, called Montmartre. They had nice sweaters in the window.
Chat in French with saleswoman...
who talks me into staying in Cannes rather than Nice on my upcoming six-week trip to France...
where I met a German woman named Tina...
who asked me six months later to show her friends around New York...
after which I went into a comic book store on 92nd and Broadway...
outside of which I ran into Shirra, an old college flame...
who later encouraged my love of teaching (rather than my struggles with pre-med classes)...
and with whom I have a great life that includes three wonderful kids.

I don't know how my life would have turned out otherwise, but I think the odds are that it wouldn't have been as happy. Shirra was a helluva catch, and it took me a couple years to get my act together as a contributing parent after Emmett was born. I think that if I hadn't seen those nice sweaters, I'd be a divorced ad exec going to every Vassar reunion in hopes of running into that cute girl from Raymond dorm.

Don't hesitate to enter that store with nice sweaters in the window. You never know where it might take you.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Unicycling as Chess

When I was a teenager, I began to get pretty interested in chess. I'd been playing games against my dad for years and steadily getting better, but once I hit my teens, I also began reading books on chess tactics. And once I got to high school, I began to realize that chess can teach us about life: Both involve planning ahead several moves and always weighing your options. And in both cases, when you make a mistake, you learn from it and then try again. I think that all teenagers should be encouraged to take up chess.

At 13, I also started getting heavily into unicycling, but it wasn't until many years later that I realized the connection. Again, you have to plan ahead several moves, and if you make a mistake, you learn from it and try again. The only real difference is that chess is about attacking your opponent by colliding one piece into another. With unicycling, you try to AVOID colliding with anything!

When I ride on the street, I'm like the queen in chess, able to move in all directions as far as I want. All around me are slower-moving pieces around which I have to navigate. Some of these pieces have fairly immutable patterns. That old lady who just passed a store on her left probably isn't going to make a sudden turn towards the street on her right, tho there is a small probability that she'll stop and go back towards the store; I'll pass on her right. Some pieces are unpredictable. This kid on a trike might stop or might turn quickly to either side; I'll slow down until I have a clearer idea.

Sometimes I have to make split-second decisions, but they're always based on the same unicycle chess. Should I ride along that tiny space between the curb and the subway stairs? It depends on whether the traffic has started moving again.

I've been riding for 25+ years and have only had to apologize for bumping into someone a few times. Most times, those were harmless taps that the person didn't even notice, but one time I did bump rather hard into someone who had made a rather unexpected decision to dart to one side. Had I been running down the street rather than riding my 24" uni, the result could have been the same.

People walking with their backs to me pose almost no risk, but those walking towards me tend to get nervous and sometimes move quickly to one side. Lately I have developed a way to signal pedestrians which way I intend to veer. As I ride towards someone, I point to myself with my thumb and then to my direction with my index finger. This has worked well and allows me to ride my Coker on crowded sidewalks without incident.

This all may change after we move 'up-city.' The sidewalks are tiny or non-existent, so it remains to be seen whether I get to continue my unicycle chess. Maybe I'll have to take up unicycle leap frog.

Barbie Weekend at K-Mart

Sydney, Oz, 1989

This is a piece I wrote in 1989 that I just rediscovered last week. It actually ran in "Honi Soit," the newspaper of the University of Sydney, under my pseudonym, Ned K DaVisto. Altho it has nothing to do with unicycling, I thought you'd enjoy:

Day 2

I sit on a borrowed director's chair across from three fold-out tables piled with Barbie dolls (and accessories) and Disney toys. I am doing a three-day demo for Mattel. There is a TV and video system set-up promoting Knit Magic, a clever and relatively inexpensive knitting machine that makes clothes for Fun-to-Dress Barbie. Nearby, I have arranged the machine with some thread already running through it. About half the people who try it out absentmindedly turn the handle the wrong way, ruining the stitch. Short of standing up and hovering over the apparatus, there is no way I can prevent this, and I am forced to re-stitch the machine. But I have become quite proficient at it; my best design so far is a hat.

People are curious about absolutely everything... or are they just incredibly bored? Grown men stop and stare at the instructional video, transfixed by the actions of a pre-pubescent girl twirling her pink plastic mechanisms. Little kids, notoriously fickle, drop whatever they are holding to pick up the closest available object; in this manner, I have acquired a small Batmobile, a beaten-up watch, and an Oscar-the-Grouch figurine. When I get up to demonstrate the doll whole clothes change colour or wind the locomotive of the Mickey Mouse train set, someone invariably examines the chair I have just vacated, noting the price and occasionally testing it for comfort. Some even fiddle with the knobs of the television set, as it it, too, were on display. And when, at the start of or close of the day, the Mattel products are back in their boxes, many closely examine the tables as well, usually to see if the legs fold easily. The only thing no-one has taken time to test is the extension cord leading from the TV to the nearby outlet; no doubt this would change if there were a price tag on it.

I am demonstrating seventeen things. Nine are Barbie-related; seven are of the Mickey Mouse genre, all aimed at pre-schoolers. Only one thing is aimed at the average 8-13 year old boy: the He-Man Powersword. When activated by one of its buttons, the plastic battery-operated sword is even louder than the video. This is a fortunate feature for a demonstrator: It helps me locate the toy when it has been "borrowed" by a noise-happy swashbuckler. Since few parents feel obligated to return it to the scene of the crime, I have to chase it down. (The farthest it has made it is three departments away from me, where a three-and-a-half-foot tall blond boy was wailing it into the stomachs of teddy bears.) Some of the boys have expressed dissatisfaction with the toys offered their sex. Thy seem compelled, though, to make the most of the display, and usually end up playing with the Disney train set, or nearly as often, the knitting machine (until their mothers remind them "that's for girls" in an effort to remove them from my area).

By far the least bored person is me. I observe everything, determined, as an American, to understand the Australian family a bit. Many things surprise me: I am surprised that Mattel doesn't mind having a man run a Barbie display. I am surprised how few little girls grab their mum's leg when I approach. I am surprised at how much more sociable young girls are than young boys. I am surprised how many girls can boast of having over a dozen Barbie dolls.

I had forgotten how much money parents spend on their kids, but then again, Chrissy is around the corner.

Final Observations, Day 2:
1. Someone has nicked my Disney Fire Trick Shape Sorter(TM). Unfortunately, it doesn't make a very loud noise; I shall probably not be able to find it.
2. Australian kids seem to have braces much less often than their American counterparts. Someone tells me this is because they are not hyper about having a "perfect" smile.
3. There is still on-one interested in Barbie Colour-Change Nails(TM).
4. Most of those who examine the TV itself are old men.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Not Gathering Moss, aka "Moving Up-City"

The Stone family is on the move again.

104th St, c. $650/mo
When Shirra and I first met, we were living in Manhattan. We were both living with our parents at the time, actually, but within months I found myself in a large one bedroom apartment on 104th St just east of Broadway, and not much later, Shirra was living there, too, along with our cat, Mocha. Eventually Iggi, Krishna, and Stanky joined us. The kids came a bit later.

114th St, apt 47, $105K
Soon we moved to 114th Street, where I bought a nifty one bedroom for what seemed, at the time, like a lot of money.

...apt. 64, $140K
But before long, Shirra was pregnant, so we took our worldly possessions (except for the stuff we had left at our parents' apartments) and moved up to a pseudo-two bedroom apartment in the same building. We still owned the smaller place, but we sublet it for a couple years, making heaps of money as mini landlords.

...apt. 47 redux
Once again, Shirra got pregnant, and once again, it was time to move. The place we were planning to buy fell thru, but at the last second, we found a much nicer two bedroom on 93rd Street just west of Columbia (and for a lot less). We sold the other two apartments (having moved back to the smaller apartment for half a year), making a killing on the big one.

W. 93rd St, apt 4-F, $325K
This building had a laundry room in the basement, and I learned to wheelwalk between many loads down there. There was a kid room/lounge, too, and I worked on other skills like freemounting a giraffe (which I still can't do). World-renowned juggler Cindy Marvel, a friend of mine since high school and of Shirra's since grade school, once entertained Fiona down in that basement, juggling seven balls despite the extremely low ceilings. I started the NYUC while living in this building. At the time, I was working at the Dalton School, but after just two years there, I took the job at Packer, where I am in my 7th year. This move pretty much necessitated moving to Brooklyn, a borough I had been to only about five times before in my life. We sold this place for nearly $500K, tho of course it would be worth over a million just a few years later. New York City real estate tends to double every five years, doesn't it?

Union St and 7th Ave, above the nail salon, $2700/mo
I don't recall the exact address, maybe due to the acetone fumes that nearly choked us during the first six months of Emmett's life. We became familiar with the wonderful Park Slope Food Coop at the time, and we endured some hairy times in this apartment (like a near break-in) before finding a house in Prospect Park South, a nabe we'd never heard of until an article appeared in New York Magazine touting some cool, underpriced places to live.

Prospect Park South
We happily moved our stuff (and kids, and 4 cats) to a big house in a quiet neighborhood. We have a backyard and a driveway and lovely neighbors...but not for long.

Moving "Up-City"
We've decided to move again. It's not exactly 'up-state' because it's only just over an hour from Manhattan. So I'm calling it 'up-city.' At this point, it looks like we're heading just outside of New Paltz, but we haven't put our place on the market and certainly haven't found a place up there (nor even a town).

There were certain requirements for this move: Price, proximity, and pulchritude were all big factors, as was the educational system (for the kids) and employment (for me). We wanted to treat this move like an early retirement: Erase the credit cards, reduce or eliminate the mortgage, and live to work (rather than work to live). I really love spending time with my kids, and even tho I get to do that a lot already, I welcome the chance to do it even more. Shirra is looking forward to opening a knitting shop. I suggested a name for her shop (Funky Ulster County Knitters), but the acronym didn't appeal to her. The entire area is gorgeous, and we're hoping one day to raise alpacas on our own land. New Paltz has a great school system, but it's also appealing to have the kids attend the school where I'm working. I interviewed at a great school called Mizzentop, in Pawling, and if all goes well, I'll be teaching there next year and the kids will be attending the school.

How does all of this connect to the world of unicycling? Well, that's where the proximity comes in. We wanted to find a town within 90 minutes of Manhattan. That way I can still attend most of the NYUC meetings and the kids can still see their grandparents on a regular basis. I am planning to put a muni course down wherever we move, and I'd like to do some trials work, too, so maybe my home will become a unicyclist retreat for anyone in the area (and if you take the train, we'll pick you up, too). Now we just have to sell our house for a mint, and we'll be good to go.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Places I Have (NOT) Unicycled

I have ridden a unicycle in a few different countries - but not enough for my taste.

I wasn't able to take a unicycle to Israel, Italy, or France when my family went on holidays back when I was a teen, but my brother and I were fortunate enough to take our Schwinn 20" unis to sleepaway camp, so I have ridden in Maine. And when I went to Europe for nearly 5 months in 1987, I thought (correctly, it turns out) that a unicycle would get in the way of my loosey-goosey travel plans, so I missed having a unicycle in France (again), Belgium, Sweden, and Germany, though I did manage to ride a tiny unicycle when I met a girl riding one in Denmark. Her English was no better than my Danish, so about the only thing I conveyed to her was that I could ride, which she could have figured out anyway. About the only thing she could tell me was that she was 7, which I probably could have figured out, too.

Two years later I spent two semesters studying in and traveling around Australia. As I had already graduated, my time there was not truly 'two semesters' but could be thought of instead as '10 months of following a girlfriend and not joining the real world.' Whatever view you take, I decided not to bring my 24" Schwinn (I had moved up to a 24" by then), but this time I was wrong about it getting in the way. It would have been a hoot riding around the beautiful campus of Sydney's university. They even call it Uni Sydney; I kicked myself about this every day. So, I missed riding in Australia, New Zealand, and Indonesia.

My next extensive traveling came shortly afterwards when I met Shirra. On our honeymoon to Club Med Playa Blanca, I managed to find a uni that I rode around a bit, but I would hardly say that I have ridden around Mexico, any more than a goldfish living on the Upper West Side can say that it has swum along the Hudson River.

Shirra and I globetrotted a bit in the 1990s, and we also took a few 'baseball trips' to see some of the old parks before they were torn down. But the unicycle stayed behind until our recent trip to Wales and England.

I have, however, gone to all the North American unicycle conventions since 2001, so I have ridden in Toronto, Seattle, Salt Lake City, Minneapolis, and Bowling Green (OH), and I look forward to riding in Tennessee this summer.

I also hope to take a unicycle on our future international trips, or at least to meet up with a rider in whatever country we visit, and I'll certainly be taking a few unis on trips we make as we drive around the US.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Thick Skin (Or: "Shouldn't You Be Wearing a Sweater")

I've been enjoying the cool weather lately. Winter is the only time I can ride for miles and not get all sweaty. Despite the cool temps, however, I still have to be careful not to overdress. I think that this has something to do with my skin.

ELECTRO-SHOCK without the THERAPY
I've always been a one-layer-less kinda guy. Since I was a kid, I've seemed to deal better with the cold than most other people do. Some years ago, I guessed that this was psychological, a response to my mom telling me to wear a sweater ("But I'm not cold!). But recently I remembered a pain study I'd participated in during college. I earned $10 to have electric shocks of varying severity applied to my fingers. The young researcher told me afterwards that I have a very high pain threshhold and guessed that it might also have to do with my skin's electrical conductivity. So my new theory is that my skin also doesn't conduct the cold as much.

I also read recently about how our bodies respond when we get stuck in the cold. When our body temp goes down, we automatically switch on some mechanisms that try to warm us back up, especially the core areas. Our extremeties get bypassed a bit while our blood is pumped mainly to our head and trunk. This may explain why I ride for 30 minutes on a chilly day in just a t-shirt and shorts and still find myself a bit schvitzy.

Whatever the reason, it's fun zipping along half-nekkid on a uni passed Xmas shoppers. And I always wear my New York Unicycle Club shirt to advertise our group.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Unicyclist in The Onion

"The Onion" is a satirical newspaper that appears in NYC each week. The end-of-the-year edition included their twenty best short articles of 2005. This short originally piece ran in the July 26th Onion:

Media Ignores Cancer Struggle of Champion Unicyclist
Key West, FL

While seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong's battle with cancer has been well-covered in the media, his counterpart in the more insular world of unicycling has garnered very little attention. "Three-time Tour de Farce champion Nick Ienatsch's battle with mouth cancer is no less real than Armstrong's, and he should be considered just as powerful a symbol of triumph," said Mitch Boehm, editor-in-chief of Unicyclist magazine and Ienatsch's biographer. "He may be a wobblier, somewhat less-dignified symbol, but inarguably, one of hope." Ienatsch, known for his brash, outspoken manner and his smokeless-tobacco sponsorship, claims he is not a hero. "I'm just fighting cancer as any other human-powered-vehicle enthusiast would," he said. "Be he bicyclist, unicyclist, recumbent bicyclist, or pogoist."

Unicycles & Strollers

When we lived in Manhattan, one of the great joys in life was riding my unicycle while pushing a stroller (or perambulator, to my British friends). There were certain obvious advantages to this form of transportation.

1. Primarily, it's FAST. Even a 20" uni can ride along easily at about 2-3 times the rate of a walker.
2. There is also the fun factor: It's great fun zooming around pedestrians and other obstacles, such as mail boxes or street signs situated a foot or so from the curb (or kerb, for you Brits). This last case involves occasionally tilting the stroller to one side so that the other side is 'flying' off the curb for a moment.
3. It's eye-catching. When that Metropolitan Diary entry came along one Monday morning, my first comment to Shirra was, "Well, it's about time." When I unicycle along without a stroller, many people feign indifference. OK, this only happens in NYC, but it's so silly. I guess they're trying to be cool by not staring or turning their heads (or making some inane comment, or singing the circus song). But when I ride by with a kid in a stroller, their cool completely disappears, and even the most hardened New Yorker is likely to smile and make a comment.

I mention Manhattan specifically because when we moved to Brooklyn, it was clear right away that uni-strollering was going to be a challenge. The sidewalks are awful. When they're not made of huge waves of slate that ride and fall over twelve inches within a matter of feet, then they're old and eroded, replete with holes and jagged edges. But I knew just what to do: I bought a stroller with larger wheels.

I was sad when Emmett outgrew his stroller, because at the time, Shirra and I were fairly certain that we were "two and thru." But when we bought our big Brooklyn house, our initial joking around about the extra bedrooms eventually turned into a desire to have one more kid, and when Maeve came along, I got to experience the thrill of uni-strollering all over again.

There have been some fun times with this "sport" over the past 9 years. I loved taking Fiona to school when we lived in Manhattan. We made excellent time, covering the thirteen blocks in just over 5 minutes. When her brother came along, it was just as much fun zooming around with the two of them. At that time, Fiona rode one of those platforms that attaches to the back of the stroller; later, she learned how to hold on tight to my waist while standing on the crown of the unicycle frame.

Uni-strollering had a couple of mini-disasters, but both of them turned out nicely. One time while on the way to the cinema, I hit a snowbank really fast, causing the front wheels of the stroller to crumple. I stopped in time to avoid hurting the kids, but the stroller was ruined, and we had to have Shirra rescue us (with another stroller) after our movie was over. In Brooklyn, and before I'd bought the stroller with large wheels, Emmett and I had a near-disaster when the front wheels crumpled after hitting some raised slate as we raced, once again, to a movie. We missed the film but had a great time at the playground. Unencumbered by a stroller for the rest of the afternoon, I held Emmett as we rode about two miles home, and he was thrilled to be riding along with Daddy, chatting along the way about the things that 3-year-olds chat about. In the non-disaster category, there is also the fact that uni-strollering kills strollers faster than normal, so we went thru a lot of them.

I look forward to another year or two of pushing Maeve, but there is no chance of another one after her (see my earlier entry about unicycling after a vasectomy), so I'll have to enjoy the uni-strollering time I have left!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Meeting the Odd Unicyclist on the Street

Today I had the too-rare experience of seeing someone on the street with a unicycle. I was parking my car in my mom's neighborhood when I spotted him walking down Columbus Avenue and pushing a unicycle. Immediately I went thru my mental roster. Who could this be? From behind, he looked a bit like my brother, but I knew it wasn't John. Finally I was able to accept the truth: Someone was about to walk onto my mom's block -- with a unicycle -- and I did not know him. There was only one thing to do: I told my wife to finish parking and ran out of the car to chase him down. Since he was walking with his wife, I reached him quickly. Had he been riding, it might have been a few blocks! As soon as I got to him, I said the first thing that came to mind: "You ride a unicycle, but I don't know you."

He was struck by the oddness of this statement; after all, why should I know him. I quickly explained that I'm the head of the New York Unicycle Club and that I always feel that I actually know all of the unicyclists in NYC. This is clearly not true, for several reasons:

1. There are 8,000,000 people living in New York City, so it stands to reason that even Mayor Bloomberg would have a hard time assembling a list of everyone who can ride a unicycle.
2. There are new people buying unicycles everyday.
3. Not all of these people own computers or know to Google "New York" and "unicycle" so that they could find out club's website.
4. There may be some unicyclists who wish to remain anonymous and who only come out late at night under cover of darkness or who only ride from the East Wing to the West Wing of their mansions.

Still, my e-mail list of unicyclists, most of whom come from the tri-state area (NY, NJ, and CT) has over 200 names on it, and it still astounds me when I see a stranger riding along (or in today's case, walking along with) a unicycle. And in fact, my reasoning was pretty much on target: This fellow had just bought his uni two weeks ago.

Literary types among you may have discerned a comic twist in the title of this post. Today's find, a man my age named Julian, was not only 'the odd unicyclist' but is also an odd...unicyclist. He hails from England, and nearly 20 years ago, he represented Cambridge University as a member of the varsity Tiddlywinks team. And this brings up an important point. Is there anyone who rides a unicycle who isn't, in some way, a bit odd? Are we not all a bit 'odd'? I think that any adult who rides a unicycle would be considered odd by modern standards.

Every time I go for a ride, I guess I'll always be "the odd one out."

But that beats the alternative. Which brings up a wonderful story from my brother's adolescence. Some girl in his High School said, "You're so weird," to which he replied, with a smile, "I know. And you're so average."

Friday, January 06, 2006

My Worst Fall

There are UPDs, where you lose your balance but manage to land on your feet, and there are falls, where you land on some other part of your body. But when I had my worst fall, I didn't land on some other part of my body; I landed on my son.

My family had just moved to Brooklyn's posh Park Slope neighborhood. Despite its pretentions, this nabe, like most of Brooklyn, has ancient sidewalks of slate. Over the years, trees and water damage have turned some sidewalks into hazards, with slate slabs jutting up and down like crystals under a microscope.

One day we parked on 8th Avenue just off Union. I thought it would be fun to carry my 2-year-old Emmett for the quarter-mile trip home. I had done this before, but never on sidewalks so bumpy. I made a mental note to be careful, but I had forgotten one thing: my unicycle had really short cranks. Cranks are the arms that hold the pedals. Long cranks give you more leverage and therefore more control, but I had opted for shorter cranks because they allow for faster riding.

But the real problem is that I didn't see a slab jutting out just where my wheel would hit it when my pedals were at "6 o'clock." Six o'clock pedals is my way of saying that you have one pedal straight up and the other straight down. In that position, the unicyclist is most vulnerable to UPDs and worse because it's difficulty to correct your forward movement when you can't push the pedals easily.

I was carrying Emmett with one arm, as I usually did, when I hit the bump. I lurched forward, and my bottom foot hit the ground awkwardly, propelling me forward. Realizing that I was going to crash down, I knew there was one little trick I could do, so just before hitting the pavement, I sort of threw Emmett up in the air. Then my elbow and forearm hit the sidewalk, and a fraction of a second later, Emmett landed on my arm, the back of his head nestled in my open palm.

Throwing him up like that, even tho it was just a tiny toss, probably allowed him to land more softly than if I had held him all the way down, and I've always been thankful for my quick reaction. Nevertheless, the mild impact, as well as the shock of the whole thing, brought out some big tears. I felt terrible, and I didn't ride with him in my arms for a long time -- and then, only on flat flat sidewalks. It took Shirra even longer to recover -- she still starts to hyperventilate whenever I remind her of it.

Uni'ing to Beat the NYC Transit Strike!

[Originally written on 12/22/05]

I had a few errands in a part of NYC called Manhattan today. As some of you may know, there is a bus and subway strike affecting all of NYC, but it's toughest on those entering (and getting around) Manhattan. I rode from my home in central Brooklyn to 55th and 2nd Ave today, stopping for an errand on 28th and Fifth. It was brilliant riding up Fifth today -- it was closed to all gas-powered monstrosities except private buses and emergency vehicles. That was a cool leg of the journey. I also got to dazzle many pedestrians with my off-road-style Cokering.

When the day was done, I'd covered just under a marathon (24.4 miles -- makes me want to get out and ride a few more just for fun) at an avg speed of about 10 mph -- WAY WAY faster than those poor commuters trying to get around today.

Favorite moment of the day (and there were many): While passing a young hotshot biker on the uphill part of the Manhattan Bridge, I asked, "Do you need a boost?"

Riding around this much put me into SUCH a good mood! The iPod helped, too!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Unicycling and Scrabble

Some of you might already know that I play in Scrabble tournaments. Just as there is a whole unicycle community that most of the public doesn't know about, there is a serious Scrabble scene out there that most people are blissfully unaware of. And while there are a thousand times more people who own a Scrabble set than a unicycle, the number of tournament players is roughly equivalent to the number of serious unicyclists (except in Japan, where unicycling is more of a cultural phenomenon).

At the tournament level, there are still plenty of 'livingroom' Scrabble players who enjoy the game and are happy to ply their trade against others of their ilk. They usually attend their local Scrabble clubs, but they don't worry too much about winning or losing. Further up the hierarchy are people who take the game a bit more seriously but who aren't especially gifted (as well as people who are pretty gifted with the game but who don't take it too seriously).

As in chess, there are player ratings based on expected performance against a given player. If your rating is 200 points higher than your opponent's, then you're expected to win two thirds of your games with that person. The top of the pyramid tends to thin out pretty fast: There are a few thousand people rated around 1000, but there are only a few hundred rated 1600-1750, and fewer than 150 rated higher than that, nationwide. There are only a handful rated around 2000.

I began playing Scrabble as a kid, mainly against my dad in head-to-head games. I discovered club- and tournament Scrabble in 1993, and that marked the end of the games with my dad. In fact, I can't play against anyone in my family or circle of non-Scrabble friends because it's too (understandably) frustrating for my opponent (tho I don't mind a bit -- I just love playing). Luckily, when I could no longer play at the NYC club, the Internet provided a way for people across the world to play against each other in real time, so now I play a few games online everyday.

1993 was also my first year of teaching at Heschel, a school on the Upper West Side of Manhattan that happened to be just over a mile from where I was living at the time. I printed out a few word lists and would study them while I unicycled to school. I also had a hand-held elctronic Scrabble dictionary that I would scroll thru during my rides. I learned all the 3- and 4-letter words this way, riding my 24" Schwinn to school each day. Luckily there weren't too many people on the streets in the mornings.

Within a few years, I was among the highest-rated players in North America; I was once among the top 50. More recently, my rating has wavered around the high-1700s, where it is now (within the top 125). I don't get to too many touraments, and those I do play in are small, local one-day affairs. But I stay sharp thanks to the online games and a little studying, and one day, I hope to return to my sharpest form so that I can pierce the ranks of the upper eschelon once again.

SCRABBLE and UNICYCLING HAVE MORE IN COMMON than YOU'D THINK

Both activities find true enthusiasts only in small numbers. Riding a unicycle gets stares, but so does stating that I'm off to play in a Scrabble tournament. Here are a few other commonalities.

* Discipline: You have to stick with uni'ing for many hours before you're any good, and Scrabble takes many games before you have even a fair understanding of how to take advantage of the 'hot spots' on the board.
* Balance: For unicycling, that's obvious, but all strong Scrabble players understand the importance of rack balance (keeping back certain letters so that you're more likely to score well on the turn to follow).
* Obsession: In order to get really good at anything in life, most of us need to be a bit obsessive. After all, learning all of the 3-letter words acceptable in Scrabble is fairly useless except in the context of the game itself. You don't really need to know that TSK is a verb, for example, any more than you need to know how to mount a unicycle with your weak foot. So both endeavors routinely force me to spend hours practicing something that doesn't generalize to anything else in life.
* Technology: There are more computer programmers in Scrabble than you'd have expected. The same goes for unicycling. I wish I knew just why this is. I think it is somehow connected to obsessiveness and with getting good at something that can be fairly solitary (unlike a team sport).
* Gender: There are a lot more men than women in the upper ranks of Scrabble. Theories abound. My hunch is that it's due to a combination of factors. One piece is the fact that raising a family often precludes some women from having the time necessary to become great at what they love. Another component is that women are probably socialized not to get good at certain things. Studying Scrabble lists is certainly not 'manly,' but I guess it would be tolerated more among men than women. Finally, there is competitiveness. I think that men are inherently more competitive. It would stand to reason, then, that the best players would be the ones who have time to study, aren't chastised about studying, and really care about winning. Unicycling has only recently been seen as acceptable for girls (with the exception, again, of Japan). When I was a teen, I never saw a female unicyclist. Nowadays there are a lot more girls and women getting into the sport.

Here is one big difference. I don't know many unicycle nerds. Scrabble is almost the opposite. At the top level of Scrabble, there are quite a few unmarried men who are unlikely ever to pass along their wonderful genes. Of course, too much unicycling could keep a guy from passing along his genes, too, but that's another issue (see my upcoming post about the importance of a comfortable seat).

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Time Out NY Article about our Uni Club, 12/18/04

I originally wrote this during the Xmas season of 2003:

Today in Time Out New York (Dec. 18, 2003 - Jan. 1, 2004), there was an article about my unicycle club, the NYUC (also known as the Unatics). It features a great photo of my brother with our young friend Emmy riding a giraffe in the background. The article is titled Balancing Act, by Mina Hochberg. Here it is:

* * * * * * * * * *

Regardless of the weather, the New York Unicycle Club rolls on.

Comments like "Hey, faggot!" and "What happened to the rest of your bike?" are just a few of the jeers David Stone endures on a daily basis. Stone is the cofounder of the New York Unicycle Club, a close-knit, family-friendly group of unicyclists who meet year-round at Grant's Tomb (122nd Street and Riverside Drive) every first Sunday and third Saturday of the month, from
1 to 6pm.

Given its association with circus clowns, the unicycle is widely regarded as the freak show of the bicycle world. And although New York is teeming with outrageous characters of all stripes, the sight of a unicyclist never fails to elicit stares, giggles, and heckling. "Some people even sing circus music," Stone, 37, laments.

But you won't find any red noses or rainbow wigs at NYUC gatherings. Ironically, the joke is on the bystanders who watch while group members show off fancy tricks such as mounts, figure eights, hops, spins and pirouettes. More important than dazzling the onlookers, though, the goal of NYUC meetings is for its members to learn skills, share tips and practice stunts. And one-wheelers offer a more strenuous workout than bikes: Unicycles don't have gears, so the rider must pedal at all times, even downhill (expert one-wheel riders can cruise as fast as 25 miles per hour).

NYUC's roots trace back to 2000, when Stone, an elementary school learning educator, and fellow unicyclist Joe Merrill, 40, met at their daughters' gymnastics class. The two men started riding together on weekends and eventually decided to hunt down other uniriders to form a club. After networking on the Web, seven curious riders joined them for NYUC's first meeting, at the Central Park band shell on a chilly afternoon in February 2001.

More than two years later, the club counts as many as 200 members, from ages 5 to 60, and is just one of the 60-plus similar organizations in the U.S., Canada, Japan and Europe. Despite its remote location, NYUC's current meeting place offers an ideal variety of surfaces, including smooth cement, dirt, grass, inclines, and even stairs. Membership is free, and you don't even need to own your own cycle, since there are usually a few spare wheels hanging around.

"For me, a typical NYUC meeting means socializing and helping out neophytes," says Stone's younger brother, John, 33, a freelance musician and writer who pedaled 1,100 miles from Germany to Spain for the 2001 European Unicycle Tour. "The atmosphere is warm, and it's always a pleasure to see so many young riders."

It also helps to bring along a sense of humor: Curious passersby might think you look kind of silly. During a recent NYUC meeting, a double-decker tour bus unleashed a herd of snap-happy tourists, who promptly aimed their point-and-shoots at the group as if they were photographing exotic creatures for National Geographic.

Of course, unicycling isn't just a ride in the park. Since impediments such as speed bumps and potholes are more likely to fell unicycles as opposed to bikes, and because the single-wheeled contraptions don't include brake pedals (though most models are equipped with hand-brakes), it's important that riders learn safety techniques, like making quick turns. "Even if you can ride really well, you still have to keep your reactions sharp and be much more aware of your surroundings than when on a bike," says NYUC member Anne Benkovitz, 38.

Yet surprisingly, while New York City traffic laws address everything from bicycles and tricycles to horse-drawn carriages, unicycles aren't mentioned, which is why their riders aren't legally required to wear helmets, knee pads, or other protective gear -- though it's highly advised. (The city's lack of unicycle laws enabled Merrill, a computer security consultant, to beat a ticket he received for riding his uni on the sidewalk.)

Still, unicycles are quite practical for city living. Benkovitz, an art director for Scholastic, says that one-wheelers are not only more portable than bikes, but also two to three times faster than walking. "Once I rode by a group of guys who were walking on Spring Street, and one shook his head and said to his friends, 'Talk about inefficiency,'" she recalls. "But I got to where I was going faster than they did."

* * * * * * * * * *

Well, it gets off to a bleak start (it's pretty rare that we get heckled, especially as rudely as getting called 'faggot'), but after that, it's pretty accurate. I liked how the group was called family-friendly (and it certainly is), and the description of what goes on at a typical meet was pretty spot-on. The information was accurate too, except for the part about uni-brakes (most of us DON'T have one!), and the little anecdotes, about the tourists, the ticket, and John's ride, were a nice touch.

I am sure that this article will bring a lot of people to our website and to the club.

Welcome Back, Kotter

On 12/11/01, I met someone who indirectly touched the lives of many future unicyclists. Here is my original post to the unicyclist.com forum.

* * * * * * * * * *
I had the wonderful experience of meeting the person who inspired me to get my own unicycle nearly 22 years ago, Thomas Pennell. He is the one seen riding his uni down a Brooklyn street in the end credits of Welcome Back Kotter, and it was seeing him that made me realize (as a 13 year old) that a unicycle could be ridden outside of a circus.

The encounter: I was riding across the Brooklyn Bridge on my commute when he rode past on his bike and commented that I was able to go pretty fast. He mentioned that he used to ride, and I was just about to mention my club when he dropped the bombshell: "Did you ever see Welcome Back, Kotter?..." I couldn't believe my ears. I shrieked like a teenager girl bumping into Britney Spears at the mall and quickly asked if he could chat. We hopped off our wheels and talked and then got back on and rode together. He told me that he'd grown up in Brooklyn and that he'd been the first of a group of friends and family to ride a unicycle (same is true for me). He was 10 when he was filmed for WBK. I told him that he was my inspiration for buying a uni and that there are a lot of us who remember seeing him at the end of the show.

His sister also rode, and he mentioned that he rode past me to talk bc he wanted to order her a Coker -- she had told him about how she saw me whiz by her while she was biking across the bridge.

So he inspired me to ride, and I inspired his sister (and him?) to get back to unicycling. That is the coolest thing to happen to me in a long time. What a wonderful cycle....

* * * * * * * * * *

Afterthoughts (1/4/06):

I ran into Tom again while he was out for a bike ride a few years later, but he has never been out to join the uni club. He got his sister that Coker, as far as I know, but she hasn't made it to the club either. I did hear from her recently, however. I had put an old friend of Tom's in touch with him after many many years, and his sister wrote to thank me for reuniting the long-lost friends. I was thrilled to be able to help. Certainly the cycle continues....

Unicycle STOLEN!!! (4 Years Ago)

I wrote this back on 8/15/01:

* * * * * * * * * *

Well, after 21 years of unicycling in NYC, it finally happened -- I had a unicycle stolen. Of course, my first reaction was like that of most people: who would want to steal something you can't use that sticks out like a sore thumb?

I have always left unicycles outside stores (when necessary), but this was even weirder bc I left it in the entrance to my new apartment building here in Park Slope, Brooklyn. 7th Avenue is a lot of things, but it's not known for lots of crime. When I went to take it for a spin some minutes later, it was gone.

Luckily it was 'only' a Torker, so it's not much of a financial hardship, but I'll have to think twice about leaving unis outside in future.

Anyone in the NYC area who spots a 20" Torker with a blue Schwinn seat, just let me know!

* * * * * * * * * *

Note: The unicycle was never recovered.

The Coining of the Term: UPD

A few years ago, I realized that there are times when unicyclists "fall" (splat!), and there are times when we "fall off but land standing." The first could easily be called a "fall" without confusion, but the second always seemed to deserve its own term. After all, most of the time when we lose balance, we land standing.

So in the summer of 2001, I began using the term "unplanned dismount" and writing "UPD" in parentheses after the term. I had never seen "unplanned dismount" in print before, so I assumed I had invented the term. I definitely invented the acronym "UPD," but it's clear I wasn't the only one thinking about this subject, because there are earlier cases of the spelled out version.

By late 2001 and early 2002, "UPD" was used in common parlance among unicyclists, and it has always been attributed to me. Dutch unicyclist (and avid writer on the unicyclist.com forum) Klaas Bil even wrote a funny note marking the anniversary of its use.

I never doubted Klaas's findings, including the date he gave for the coining of UPD (7 Nov, 2001), but today I discovered that I had used UPD even earlier. In an August 2001 note about landing technique, I answered:

"I have to disagree a tad on one point, JM, and that is about pedal posish.
If the pedals are at "6 o'clock," it's really hard to stick the landing.
At almost any other point it's not too tough, and 9:15 (or if you are a
late riser, 3:45) is the easiest. But I still have occasional 'unplanned
dismounts' (UPDs) off small curbs when I have to land at 6 o'clock. DS"

But going even further back, I found a post written in 1999 called My first major, um, unplanned dismount.

The 1999 post was written by someone who signed on as "ronknapperpub@usa.net."Only 2 people viewed his post at that time (I wasn't one of them). No one put the acronym UPD together until July of 2001, when I wrote a few posts about it including my entry in this thread.

For awhile I tried to keep separate the meanings of UPD and "fall," but eventually they got mixed up a bit so that nowadays people use "fall" to mean the splat variety of UPD and use UPD as a more generic term that doesn't usually involve the splat.

I hope this helps to confuse the matter more on the subject of UPDs. ;)

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A Bar Mitzvah before Unicycling

Just to tell you up front, this post has NOTHING to do with unicycling except that after we attended the bar mitzvah in question, we raced up to Manhattan for the uni club. Oh, and one other connection, but I'll save that for last.

THE INVITATION
Our good friends sent us an invite to their eldest son's bar mitzvah. The invitations didn't have an RSVP, and they were sent only two or three weeks ahead of the big day. More interestingly, the date of the ceremony was slated for January 1, 2006. We thought it was a typo -- maybe they meant January 11? And it was 9 am. Now it had to be a typo. Who would schedule a big event for the morning after most people stay up drinking till all hours?

I called the boy's mom, and she let me in on a few secrets. The 9 am start was a bit of a ruse just to get would-be late-comers to the synagog on time. She told us to get there by 9:45 the earliest. In fact, the prayers didn't really begin till just before 10. There was no RSVP because most of the people in their tight-knit community would know about the Bar Mitzvah, and most would be there anyway -- no reason to give out phone numbers. OK, but was it a typo?

THE DATE
The date was considered quite lucky for two reasons. As it was during a secular holiday (New Years), most people would have the day off and the next day as well, so there would be no difficulty having relatives fly in and out for the bar mitzvah. More importantly, the date chosen was during Hanukah, a happy holiday, and therefore an auspicious day to become a man. It was also the same day as my unicycle club was slated to meet, so we planned to attend the ceremony and part of the party and then rush to Grant's Tomb for the club.

THE SEATING
Shirra had run downstairs to the Ladies with Maeve, so I told Fiona and Emmett to enter the shul on their own and to save seats. This proved impossible, and both kids came back looking confused. There were plenty of seats left, so I took them in and sat them with me near the middle of the temple in the front row. Unlike any other house of worship I've ever seen, this one had most of the activity happening in the wide center aisle (like the nave of a church) right in front of the torahs but about 100 feet away. Pretty soon I noticed (finally) that there were no women in my section. Aha! I had forgotten that in orthodox temples, the sexes are separate. When Shirra returned, she entered one of the women's sections with Maeve while Emmett stayed with me, which was lucky because I could answer most of his many whispered questions and keep him interested.

THE CEREMONY
It began with the rabbi shushing the crowd. Immediately we were immersed in the language of my ancestors. I had grabbed a prayer book, but it was 99.44% Hebrew, so it didn't do me much good. I took note of the page from the people seated around me, mainly kids from Isaac's class. As I tried to follow along, it looked like were were going to read most of the book's 600 pages, but since the rabbi was reciting the prayers with the speed of an auctioneer, I guessed that this might not take too long. In fact, after about 20 pages of straight reading, the torah was brought out from its altar. This signaled that Isaac was about to read from it for the first time as a man, and also that the service was nearly over. He did a magificent job, sounding every bit as good as the rabbi (Isaac speaks Hebrew fluently). The next time we all picked up our prayer books, we were in the 400s. Shortly after this, Isaac stood up for his speech.

THE WOMEN
I noticed that the women's section was pretty noisy -- lots of chattering. Fiona confirmed this later: "They never shut up." On at least three occasions, the rabbi shushed the crowd, but the only noise was coming from the women's section. I was impressed how quiet were the dozens of adolescent boys around me, especially compared to the ladies diagonally across from us. I commented on this to 6-year-old Emmett, and he replied, "Yeah, they're not being very respectful." Later I realized that none of them have had a bat mitzvah -- it's simply not done in their community (unlike the Conservative and Reform Jewish communities), so perhaps they feel a bit disenfranchised or unconnected to some of the prayers.

THE SPEECH
Isaac gave the best bar mitzvah speech I have ever heard. In addition to being a born orator, the message of his words was spellbinding. He thanked each member of his family personally for something specific that person had done to help him become a man. He talked about how each of his elder male relatives had wrapped some of the leather strip of the tfillin around his arm and how in doing so, each one had infused some of his life into Isaac's. Oy -- I was kvelling. If ever a boy truly became a man at 13, it was Isaac.

THE PARTY
I thought my wedding had great food and a lovely location, but this party was stupendous. The lower level of the temple, like the temple itself, had two separate areas. One was clearly the place to sit, eat, dance, and schmooze. The other was mainly for kids and was replete with a mini-basketball shooting area and other games, caricature drawing, candy galore for a make-your-own-loot-bag, and a few other special treats. In the hallway between were dozens of pastries and healthy fruits, all of it delicious. The visual theme of the event was an Andy Warhol-like photo-painting of Isaac (like the one Warhol did of Marilyn Monroe). To complement this, there were Isaac cookies, Isaac cake, and Isaac chotchkes, all done in that same Warhol style, but none of it 'over the top' -- it was just right.

When I had my bar mitzvah 25 years ago, it was a bit different. I had a lovely service (during which my brother failed to make me laugh by making faces at me), but it was sparsely attended because I have a tiny family and went to a small school. There were more people smooshed into the photo of Isaac's family than were at my bar mitzvah. I read from the torah, but really I had just memorized the passage earlier and was reciting it while glancing at Hebrew letters I could barely read. And while Isaac understood everything he was reading, I had only vague notions of what each passage was about rather than each word. Finally, Isaac's party outrivaled my own fantastic wedding; when I was 13, our smallish group all met later at a fancy restaurant called Sardi's (in the NYC theater district) and chatted merrily at the tables. It was more of an affair than a party.

THE CONNECTION to UNI'ING
So how is this in any way related to unicycling. Well, when all was said and done, I recived a total of about $700 from friends and rellies for my bar mitzvah, and while this was relatively low even in my day, it was enough for me to buy a few fun 'toys.' I got myself a cool phone (long since broken) and a 32-person speed dialer (why?) and a telescope that I enjoyed for a few years despite the poor visability of the NYC sky. And with my last $100, I bought my first Schwinn unicycle. But I got more than $10 change when I got that unicycle. I got a hobby that would last me a lifetime and which would connect me to hundreds of cool people I might not have met otherwise, like you.

And If you look in the middle of my tattoo, you'll see at the bottom of the seat post a slightly odd shape. That is the Hebrew letters for 'chai' ("life"), and it's symbolic of my bar mitzvah-unicycle connection.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Unicycling in Wales: March, 2005

Fiona and I brought our unicycles to Wales. More specifically, when my family visited Wales in March of 2005, I packed two unis in my luggage. When we got to our first B&B, I reassembled the unicycles so that my wife could take a few photos of my daughter and me as we rode across a tiny suspension bridge. Fiona and I also rode around the small town, but the sidewalks in Welsh villages are virtually non-existent, so we had to content ourselves with rides in a local park. Nobody we encountered had ever seen a unicycle up close.

Later in the trip, we drove up to the north of Wales for a unicycle get-together that I had helped organize before the trip; using the unicyclist.com forum, I contacted a few uni'ists in Wales, and we agreed to meet in a small city called Rhyl. About ten people showed up, several on unicycles. The others could walk stilts or juggle. Afterwards, my family went to a quaint local aquarium where we saw all sorts of cool things that had turned up in the bellies of sharks.

It was a pleasure meeting Welsh riders Cathy Wood and Stuart Owen up in Rhyl. Cathy is a fun woman and a really frequent contributor on the unicyclist.com forum, and she and Stuart were extremely nice and helpful to me and the family. I had a hard time recalling the names of everyone present that day, so Cathy wrote me back with this note:

Also present at that first unimeet were Joel Smith (unicyclist) and his father Terri, Danny Cartwright (unicyclist) and Martyn and Shane Vaughn (stiltwalkers). We were also joined by Ian Litherland, juggler, at the end. Throughout the winter the unimeets are going to be held every other week in the Gronant Institute, where we have our juggling club. We hope to get a unihockey team eventually and do stuff like high jumping and so on."

One of the coolest aspects of the whole affair was that the Welsh Uni Meet of March, 2005 became the first of many such gatherings. I thought it was fantastic that I could start something in a foreign country that continues to this day. It makes me feel like Johnny Unicycleseed*.

My family is definitely planning a return trip to Wales in a few years (at most). I'll definitely want to attend another Welsh Uni Meet then!

*Johnny Appleseed is the nickname of a famous man of the 1800s who planted apple trees all over parts of the US. His nickname has become synonymous with a certain kind of pioneering spirit.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

The Macy*s Day Parade

11/24/05

Lucky me, I grew up across the street from the Planetarium. This means that one of the starting points of the parade is outside my mom's apartment. It also means that as a kid, my lovely day-off from school was punctuated by tubas and xylophones (no joke) warming up outside my window at 6am. It should not be a surprise that I grew up HATING parades.

I visited my mom yesterday for a sleepover with my wife and kids so that the little ones could see the balloons being inflated last night and then see the start of the parade from a neat vantage point this morning. After driving everyone in yesterday, I Cokered to Brooklyn and back for some work. On my way back, I found myself on Columbus Ave in the 70s. Normally this is a charming nabe, but with streets cordoned off and with police everywhere, I had no way of walking, let alone uni'ing, so I hopped off and sardined along for a few blocks till I got past the balloon-watching tourists.

At this point, a man spotted the Coker and commented that his kid would be riding in the parade on a giraffe. I replied, "Oh, you guys must be from Maine," and he was impressed that I had heard of their group. I mentioned this site and how the news had reached many unicyclists, since we're a tight group. I also mentioned that I have a uni club and told him of our website (newyorkunicycle.com).

I had to ask: Where were all of those kids and their families staying? I couldn't imagine that they'd find hotels, and the cost woulda been prohibitive. Sure enough, they were staying over in New Jersey!!! The poor kids had to be up at 4:30 this morning in time to sit around for hours in the cold, waiting for the parade to begin at 9am.

I missed seeing them ride down Central Park West, but I heard good things from the people I polled. And I'm really glad I got stuck in pedestrian traffic last night -- it was fun connecting with that dad.

Unis and Wheelchairs

10/27/05

We've all been in the position of riding past someone in a wheelchair, and if you've been riding long enough, it's occurred to you that this could be an awkward situation. But if you REALLY think about it, people in wheelchairs and people on unicycles have something else in common: People tend to ignore us. For unicyclists, it's because many passers-by want to maintain their cool (certainly this is the case in NYC). For wheelchair-riders, this is because people try so hard NOT to stare that they end up avoiding the eyes of the person in the wheelchair.

I take a different approach. When I see someone in a wheelchair, I'll often give thumbs up and say, "Nice wheels." I've only ever had positive responses. When I see kids in wheelchairs, I always make positive comments about their cool wheelchairs and ask how fast they can get around, etc. Their parents always appreciate that I'm treating them 'normally.' We have to be careful not to pretend to ignore people -- they always catch when this is going on.

Late comedian Mitch Hedberg said," It is very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got, motherf..., this thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up.'" He's making a joke about how overly careful people are about not offending anyone -- not a good way to live, is it?

I'd rather please 99 people and offend one than to please no one because I was afraid of taking a risk. I think I might still feel this way if their #s were 90/10. Below that, I'm not so sure! But if you ever see me in a wheelchair, I want a big thumbs up. Then I'll race your butt, and win.

1st Century on a Guni (Long)

9/12/05

I very nearly completed 100 miles on a guni today (11 Sept, 2005), held back at the end more by time constraints than physical exhaustion or discomfort.

"Transportation Alternatives" sponsored the annual event, which takes bicyclists and me thruout NYC. The ride was set to start at 6am for 100-milers, but due to terrible planning and disorg. on their part, most of us weren't able to get our bibs till 6:30 or later, so I didn't leave the starting area till 6:45. The ride starts in Manhattan at 110th Street, the upper limit of Central Park.

The first leg of the ride mysteriously took riders uptown for a mile before heading down to Brooklyn. As I did two years ago, I didn't bother with the ride route thru Manhattan, which took people down the streets, with lots of start-and-stop due to traffic lights; rather, I rode down the beautiful West Side Path, a few miles longer but much faster. This path also put me very close to the site of the World Trade Centers, which I thought was important on this terrible anniversary.

I caught up with the riders at the Brooklyn Bridge and was able to zip past many of them, allowing me to use my favorite phrase of the day, "On your left!" By now, I was really enjoying the speed of the geared 29" uni. The ride wended its way thru the part of Brooklyn that I use on my daily commute, so it was great riding on familiar streets, and soon we were at the famed Carousel in Prospect Park, drinking Accelerade (courtesy of the Accelerade company, one of the sponsors of the ride). This was the only time I was able to get ahold of the drink, which is like a protein-enhanced Gatorade, because the sponsor hadn't supplied enough drink mix to meet the needs of the 5,000+ riders.

Leaving the Carousel, the ride headed right past my house, so I had to drop in and squeeze the kids. It was also a nice chance to use a bathroom that didn't smell like a blue chemical. A few minutes later, I was on my way, my drink bladder as full as my own bladder was empty.

Next the ride took in the outer limits of Brooklyn, which accounted for about 45 miles of the route. It's mainly flat and a bit bumpy, and I noticed (when I had to stop now and then to stretch my vegetables) that I was maintaining an average speed of 11.6 mph, not including rest stops. Bicyclists routinely gave me thumbs up and were verbally encouraging and curious ("How far you planning to ride?" the most popular question of the day). Their praise was just as important as the bananas and Gatorade that I consumed along the route.

As for the actual riding, it was also encouraging that I continually ran into the same people, many of them fairly fit, suggesting that their average pace was about the same as mine. It's neat to be able to ride a unicycle as fast as many people can bike. I never switched gears during the first 50 miles of riding because the roads were pretty flat and because I was feeling good. These factors came to an ugly ending in Queens, the worst part of the overall ride.

Queens is hilly. It's not as well-known for its hills as the Pyrenees or the Alps, but that's only becuase it's on a smaller scale. It seems that there aren't two consecutive residential streets in Queens that are flat, and at this point I began having to use the low gear, tho I still used high gear most of the time. I saw my average speed slip closer to 11 mph as Queens wore me out. Worse still, the ride disorganizers had chosen to skip a traditional rest stop point, so we were riding "straight" for 35 miles. Most of us stopped at least twice to replenish drinks, stretch our veggies, and give our aching seats a rest, and I was lucky enough to meet a generous biker who gave me a spare minitube of butt cream, a moment that definitely proved pivotal in my ability to continue since I was developing some serious saddle soreness. Finally the rest stop appeared, and I applied the cream, chatted with friends (including a colleague and some members of my uni club), complained, and rested. At this point, I had to decide whether I was really going to go for at least 75 miles or maybe just 55, as the ride has different routes depending on your goals. I chose to go the 75-100 mile route.

There were a few more rest stops left, tho as usual I created my own as my legs were jellying somewhat and my saddle soreness was only moderately under control. I continued seeing familiar faces and hearing encouraging words, both of which continued to inspire me greatly as I headed for the mile-62 rest area, but at this point, I was strongly considering taking a taxi back home because I suddenly remembered another fault of the ride officials. They always list the ride options as "15, 35, 55, 75, or 100 miles," but in fact, no route except the 15 is even close to the stated distance, suggesting that they just really like having numbers that end in 5. In fact, the routes are more like 15, 40, 62, 86, and 109. When I realized how much riding I had left and how little time (thanks to that late start), I knew that a Century was out of the Q, so I set my sights on meeting my family after the 86 mile route -- they had driven into Manhattan to pick me up. Along this stretch of Queens, I realized the the organizers had gotten one thing right. They planned the route to include a long stretch on "9/11 Memorial Way," a street that commemorates some of those who died 4 years ago in the WTC attack. Every few blocks, another side street had been renamed for a local person who had died that day, a very somber reminder of what day it was.

There was a final rest stop at mile 75, but it was mile 79 for me on account of some extra riding I'd done on the day. I gobbled down another peanut butter pita, replenished my water supply, and rested with friends before heading the last 6 miles to the finish. Somehow even this distance was off, and it turned into 11 miles, getting me to the end with a total of 90 miles under my belt. I also had nothing to drink for the last hour of the ride because my water system malfunctioned.

I was disappointed at not being able to go the whole hundred on my guni (I wanted to be the first to ride a Century on a guni, another of my inspirations during the ride), but I was happy that I'd been able to maintain an average speed of 10.5 mph while riding just under 9 hours. Including the rest I took, my average speed was a more pedestrian 8 mph, but who's counting. I also consoled myself with the fact that the night before the ride, I'd ridden 13.5 miles from my house to my mom's, so in 24 hours, I'd managed 103.

Arriving at the finish, to my amazement, there were still free water bottles and tee-shirts to be had at the end, the only items they had not run out of. Sponsors who didn't come up with enough of the goods included Accelerade, Ben and Jerry's, and Naked (fruit drinks).

I bought more Gatorade and drove the family home, where I too a lengthy bath before putting my youngest to bed. A few minutes later, I was asleep, too, tho by 1:45 I was up again, writing this note. I'm glad that I can still take stairs two at a time and that my back isn't sore and that my butt is healing well, and I'm amazed that it didn't hurt to pee all day (when I did the ride two years ago, it hurt for 2 days). Maybe a KH seat trumps the more comfortable Sem seat I rode in 2003, or maybe it was the 2nd pair of cycle shorts that I was wearing.

I don't think I'll be attempting another Century any time soon, but it was a blast being able to put in so many miles in one day on my guni. It held up great. It was also fantastic to put to the test my own idea that at a given moment, I could ride at least 50 miles even tho my commute is only 9 total miles a day.

Good night!

Pulled over by Police (Again)

8/29/05

This morning, while unicycling along my regular commute, I was pulled over by a cop for riding on the sidewalk. I avoided the summons, but only because I have a loud voice and I'm not afraid to use it.

I was riding on the sidewalk that abuts a highway-like stretch of road. It's far too dangerous to ride on the street there -- it's filled with three lanes of fast, crowded traffic. If I were a bicyclist, I'd be entitled to a lane of traffic, but I have never seen a biker on that street, either, because it would be suicide to ride there. This sidewalk, on the other hand, is almost never trafficked because it's in a non-residential part of Brooklyn. In two years, I think I've seen two people walking this sidewalk, total.

This short stretch of sidewalk is downhill and I was riding fast, so when the cop asked me to pull over, I yelled that I would as soon as I could. About 50 feet later, I hopped off and turned to find out what he wanted, tho I already suspected he was going to give me a hard time about riding on the sidewalk. This was odd because there are already two cops regularly stationed in the same spot (on account of the "terrorism threat") whom I wave to every morning; they never give me a hard time -- just a smile and a nod. So this was some cop who has never been there before, and he was presumably acting on his own. He asked me to produce some ID, and I asked why. He explained that I wasn't supposed to be riding on the sidewalk, and I retorted that there is no law that specifies anything about unicycling -- and I mentioned how unicyclists have, in the recent past, gotten out of summonses before by showing the judge the appropriate passage from the law. I asked him (loudly) if he has had a lot of experience with unicycles -- like did he know that it's impossible to stop right away, or that unicycles are not covered (in NYC) by laws that only mentioned vehicles with two or more wheels.

Joe, I need the exact passage so I can keep it with me for next time.

Anyway, he wasn't satisfied, so he asked again for my ID, and I handed it to him. At this point, he told me he was going to write me a summons. I loudly mentioned (to him and all the cops around him) that it would look real silly on the news when I explained to reporters that I was being given a summons for unicycling on the sidewalk and that this cop would rather I take up a whole lane of morning traffic (blah blah blah). I also mentioned how silly it would look on his record that he had pulled over someone for riding a unicycle on the sidewalk.

He stepped away, and I took the opportunity to seek out that officer whom I see on a regular basis. I explained the situation to him, and he seemed pained to side with either of us (he didn't know the exact law, but he clearly felt that I was posing no danger).

Then the summons officer showed up again. He said that he was NOT going to write up a summons after all (a change of heart? No, I think someone told him not to bother). Not satisfied, I asked him if he will be there tomorrow and the next day, and he said yes. I said, "And I'm not going to get a summons tomorrow, am I?" and he said no.

But Joe, I still need that law -- just to be safe.

The meek might be inheriting the earth, but the loud avoid summonses (when they're within the law, anyway!).

David Stone

PS: Fun fact: Someone was being arrested while all of this was going on. I think it was for driving a truck without a proper license. I think the Terror Alert Level has abeen upgraded to "Mauve" or something.

Uni'ing after a Vasectomy

4.10.04

I just wanted to let all my 'fellow' riders know that riding right after a vasectomy is no problem, but you have to take precautions.

1. Lower the seat a tad. That puts less pressure on the scrotal area.
2. Push the seat forward while riding so that your buttocks take most of the pressure off that scrotal area.
3. Alternate between seat-forward riding and stand-up riding (where your butt is hardly on the seat). The latter is tiring, but it really minimizes seat pressure.
4. Avoid big curbs, both up and down (for the same reason). Small curbs (like 3") are ok, but for going up small curbs I'd suggest hopping rather than riding.
5. Tightie whities, but that's recommended by your urologist anyway.
6. Try idling and then a short ride initially. If the pain isn't worse than regular walking, you're probably fine. Check up on yourself after ten minutes.
7. I'd suggest a small wheel (20") rather than a larger size in case there is a sudden need to dismount. Smaller wheels have the disadvantage of forcing more revolutions and feeling bumps more, however, so it's a bit of a toss-up. The jury is out on this one.
8. You defintely want a soft seat. Foam is fine (tho a tough foam, like in the KH seat, may not be ideal). Viscount, Torker, and new (hard) Schwinn seats are right out.

Following these morsels of advice will help keep the stitches from undoing.

First SCARY UPD on Guni

8/14/05

I've been writing updates about my geared uni



but this afternoon, I had my first scary UPD. In fact, this was the first one where I have actually NOT landed on my feet. Luckily I was able to walk away from it, tho.

I was pedaling up a hill that was about to flatten out, so I was trying to switch up to the high gear. I clicked the button with my ankle as usual, but I may not have hit it completely. I felt it change gears, but then I felt (and heard) a clacking, like the sound that baseball cards made years ago when kids put them in the spokes of their bikes. This was probably the pins hitting the shifting mechanism and not quite engaging. Next I felt the gears complete slip as tho I had tried to shift gears again, and while the uni was in its brief glide mode, I slipped backwards, landing completely flat on my back. Luckily I was carrying a small package in one hand and holding my extension in the other, so both my elbows stayed away from the ground; my hands were at my hips when I hit the pavement. My back was very straight, and that's why (for the first time ever) my helmet hit the ground too (albeit very softly -- not enough to dent it or leave an obvious scratch). I was able to get up and continue my ride without further problems.

Florian just mentioned that his guni's pins disengaged, causing him to have a UPD while pedaling hard up an alp. In my case (and possibly in his, too), the UPD was probably caused by the pins not fully catching into their locked position.

I think that until Florian knows more about the matter -- or until I've had more practice shifting well -- I'll strongly consider hopping off in order to shift. After all, I rarely shift anyway (maybe 1-3 times per ride), and I'd rather ride safely than save a few seconds but risk a worse fall. I think I got really lucky this time.

It's a great unicycle -- that's for sure. I loved riding over 18 mph without even pushing myself as I rode home later, and when I shifted back to low gear, it felt nice to ride a 29" uni once again -- still pretty fast, but much easier to manouver. I still strongly recommend the uni, but I think riders need to be careful, and I'd avoid lots of hops and drops until we've had more info from other riders.

COPS and UNIS

5/5/05

As a native NY'er who's ridden in The City almost every day for the past 25 years, you'd think I'd have a few cop tales to tell. I do.

1. I got pulled over for riding thru a red light when the car that was down the block (and heading the other way towards that light) turned out to be a cop car. The driver was really nice and just warned me about riding against the light. It was not a great move by me, but I do it fairly often when I judge it's safe.

2. A cop put on the squelch lights and sounds and pulled me over as I was Cokering home on what I thought was a bike path. He said, "That's cool. Where can I order one?"

3. I was riding my 20" freestyle across Central Park. There were three bike cops out trying to enforce (thru warnings) the rule that you can't bike in the park except on certain paths. So as I got towards him, he says, "Excuse me, there is no biking on this path." I said, "OK, well if I see anyone on a bike, I'll let them know." But then I calmly dismounted as his buddies laughed and walked until he was unable to see me. I rode on and arrived at another checkpoint. The cops there all gave me the thumbs up and the head cop said, "Cool."

Uni Assault on a Car (Literally)

2/2/05

Today I lived out a dream. Sort of like when you think of a snappy comeback later on, only this time I'd had it happen to me enough times that I was able to think of the snappy comeback right away. Details:

I was pedaling my 29"er at a moderate rate on an empty sidewalk cleared of most of the snow. As I was crossing the somewhat snowy street where I had a green light, a car came too fast around the corner, cutting me off. The car was driving too close (legally speaking) to the corner, and this gave me too little time to slow down, esp with the snow. The car slowed a bit in order to negotiate the turn. Just before I would have hit the car, I jumped off the uni and swung it hard-ish into the lower side of the car, denting in (or cutting) a square area near the gas thingy. It helped that I had metal pedals. The car never slowed, but if it had, I'd have apologized for accidentally bumping it with my uni when I had to jump off in order to avoid it when it cut me off.

I still haven't leapt onto a dog-walker*, but as I've written in the past, it always helps to be prepared.

[An old note of mine:]
* Dog-walker: If a dog-walker is letting a dog off a leash (illegal in NYC) and the dog suddenly runs in your path, avoid the dog. But if the only way to avoid hurting yourself is to use the dog-walker as a bummper, don't hesitate. Best to avoid this by slowing down ahead of time. I've ridden past many dogs leashed and otherwise and have never had to dismount bc I always take it slowly.

Of Exploding Unicycles and Men

10/14/04

On my ride home up Flatbush Avenue two Fridays past, I heard and felt my tire explode. Since this happened to my 29” unicycle, the explosion was particularly loud. When a tire explodes you first feel yourself shrink a couple inches and then you decelerate really really quickly (this has happened to me before). And since I was going top speed (probably about 15 mph), I didn’t have a chance to land standing. I didn’t see my life flash before my eyes, but I did think, “Uh-oh, I guess I won’t have a chance to land standing, so I guess I’ll be rolling this one out. I hope I don’t tear my pants.”

As soon as I hit the ground in my tuck position, I heard someone scream, “Omygod!” She apparently thought I’d been shot, and afterwards, while I was cel-phoning my wife, people told me that they thought I’d been killed. In fact, I’d only sustained four minor or middling injuries: a bruised left hand, a sore left wrist, a scraped outer elbow (from sliding in my tucked position), and a tiny scrape on my left knee. Even my pride was unharmed, since the accident wasn’t my fault. And I’ve been riding too long (and messing up in public too much) to feel embarrassed about falling after a tire explosion.

I later learned that this particular tire was recalled by Nanoraptor because it was prone to rips in the outer rim, confirming what I’d heard from the man at the bike store. Apparently the inner-tube had gotten pinched by the rim and the tire, and when I turned slightly while going up a tiny ramp, it popped.

Two weeks later my left wrist is the only injury that still hurts, but it’s getting better. I’ve had to ride my Coker to work, but that’s turned out to be rather enjoyable because the ride is faster. And I installed longer cranks, and they make sidewalk riding much safer (for the
pedestrians).

I should add that I wasn't eating sushi at the time of the explosion, or talking on my cel phone, or even riding against traffic. Sometimes bad things happen to safe riders.

Unicyclist in Metropolitan Diary

6/17/03

Today's copy of the New York Times contains this paragraph:

"Seen by Marie Schloeder on Joralemon Street in Brooklyn Heights: The sidewalk gets crowded as children head toward school; piling out of cars, running down the street, walking with mother hand-in-hand, and a man pushing a stroller while riding a unicycle."

Too bad she didn't see us when Fiona was hitching a ride on the back of the uni while holding onto my back! But then that would have been pretty hard to explain.

David "Anonymous" Stone

Unicycle Dad Photo


5/8/03

At the behest of some of my fellow Unatics, I'm sending this photo to the rsu unicycle forum. Enjoy!



This was taken near Columbia Univ, where I was visiting the old haunts recently. In general, I take the kids about a mile a day like this (from and to the garage where we park before school). It's generally safe, since the stroller provides stability, and it helped that we've practiced a few emergency maneuvers. One time my leg accidentally knocked my daughter's wet feet off the crown, and she was able to hold onto my waist for the three revs it took me to stop. Since that time, we avoid riding on wet pavement.

Car Ran over my Uni

2/11/03

A car ran over my unicycle today, crushing the lovely Miyata seat and popping the tire (or, if you prefer, tyre). No one was hurt.

OK, full disclosure. No one was hurt because I was driving at the time. The unicycle in question was lying in the garage, and I backed over it. I had propped the uni on the back of the car bc I didn't want to put it IN the car until the wheel had dried off. Then this morning, I forgot about my brilliant idea. I felt a little bump and heard a crunch and wondered what I'd driven over.

This could go in a new category for Foss: Things not to do TO a unicycle.

David Stone

PS: Does anyone have the phone number for 1-800 UNICYCLE? If not, just send me the website address of unicycle.com

Dangerous UPD Today

10/22/02

I had a potentially dangerous UPD -- this time not due to anything stupid on my part -- that nearly led to an unfortunate injury of an innocent pedestrian. I think some of you can come up with a solution, so I'm posting.

On my usual Coker ride into Manhattan, I got to a part where the bike path turns into regular park routes. There is a short section of park path before I hit the streets. I was pedalling about 12-13mph on this path when I suddenly lost my footing on one side. I rode a couple revs while trying to regain balance or at least dismount safely. Instead, and perhaps bc of my attempts, the uni shot out from me. Since I was falling backwards, it really zoomed away (even tho I have the Wyganofsky extension and was holding it at the time). I later discovered it probably hit over 20 mph in that moment.

I landed standing but immediately noticed that the Coker was heading (fast) for parents pushing a double stroller. I shouted, and luckily the mom heard and blocked the Coker, which by this time had rolled an amazing 50 feet.

I know that Aaron Svec has developed (and even practiced?) a method where he swats his Coker when he falls off behind it. I would have done so had there been time, but my arms were both too far from the uni at the time.

Any ideas to prevent this? I have considered a cord or bungee attachment (like surfboarders use, tho there are probably inherent dangers about which we'd have to be careful. Maybe a cord which could extend really far but could be reeled in -- and which would break away if the uni were dragged away with too great force (like if it went over a cliff and you didn't want to follow it). Maybe our motorcycling friends have some ideas?

It was a very scary moment, and I have worried about it before. I hope we can arrive at a safe solution. I was wondering if I could put sth on the back of the extension to slow down or stop a roll. Maybe that's what I need.

David

PS: Harper is probably already working on a uni that explodes safely if it gets more than 10 feet from its rider.

Just Rode a Century on a Uni

9/9/02

Three Unatics rode unis in the Century Ride this afternoon. Andrew, a new member, completed 35 miles or so despite never having ridden more than about 5-10 miles. He was borrowing my 26" Sem. My brother, John, completed 84 miles on a 29" Sem (28" Sem with fat tire). I rode 102 miles on my Coker in just under 12 hours (2.5 hours were for breaks). I think John's accomplishment is more impressive because it's sorta possible to imagine that on a Coker, he'd have gone 112 miles or so.

Stats:
Flats: 1 (Andrew -- he repaired it at home and rejoined the ride).
UPDs: 0 (tho I had two near-spills which I was lucky to pull out of)

Personal:
Miles: 102
Time: Started at 6:06am; finished at 6:00pm.
Average velocity : 0 mph. When you start and stop in the same place, the velocity is zero.
Average Speed: 10.4mph when riding, 8.5mph all together. Note that the 10.4 was brought way down by my exhaustion at the end. Over the first 50 miles I maintained an avg of 12.3mph.
Fluids consumed: I think I had 11-12 liters, mainly Gatorade (sometimes just water). That comes out to one every 8-9 miles. I also ate lots of watermelon, oranges, and bananas.
Bikers passed: Tons, mainly on uphills.
Times people shouted "You're the man!": Too many to count. That's partly what kept me going.
What hurts: Those muscles that allow you to tap your feet -- man, those a killing! Crotch and bottom -- I walk a bit like a cowboy, and my derriere feels like someone thru a cheese grater into my bike shorts.

A fun ride, but I may never want to uni again!

S-levels for UPDs

5/14/02

Tornadoes and hurricanes have the Fujita scale

The Fujita wind damage scale provides a measure of a tornado's potential destruction:
Scale Wind (mph) Damage
F-0 72 or less Light
F-1 73-112 Moderate; roofing peeled
F-2 113-157 Considerable; roofs torn off
F-3 158-206 Severe; roofs and walls destroyed
F-4 207-260 Devastating; strong houses destroyed
F-5 261-318 Incredible; houses moved
F-6 319-380 Unlikely to occur

UPDs need the Stone scale
The Stone UPD scale provides a measure of a UPD's potential destruction:
Scale In a word Description
S-0 Light Rider lands on feet at a walk or jog, rider catches uni, no damages or injuries
S-1 Moderate Same as S-0, only rider lands at a run
S-2 Considerable Rider lands on feet, often at a run, but unicycle hits the ground
S-3 Severe Rider actually falls but is not injured; potential for embarrassment
S-4 Devastating Rider falls badly and is scraped up or bruised; rider is able to ride
S-5 Incredible Rider's injury prevents further riding for some time; uni likely damaged
S-6 Toe Clips Rider is killed, the result of poor judgment and/or unsafe conditions

Using this scale for my first day on uni.5, I can say that I had a few S-0's, mainly as a result of faulty mounts. My first UPD while riding was S-1, and I quickly hopped back on. On the bike path, I had an S-2 dismount, tho it's likely an extension or even decent Miyata seat could have prevented this. In Brooklyn I had a level 4 UPD while riding uphill. I landed on the street and rolled out of the fall; I managed to roll over my fanny pack without breaking the screen of my PDA (palm-top computer). This is my second UPD to involve a PDA. Hmmm.... Anyway, near home I had another S-2, tho this was at a fairly slow rate.

My brothoer has had several S-5s. I believe his first was on the European Unicycle Ride and came when his exhausted legs couldn't stop his overfast downhill ride. He lost control, fell forward, and saw his Coker smash into a wall below and flip into the air. He had some badly bruised ribs and the Coker's small seat post was somehow bent. Recently he was laid up for over two months when he hyperextended his foot on a fall, bruising the bone atop his foot. This would have been an S-3 had his foot not landed in a pothole of considerable depth.

Clipped while Riding Cokey

4/29/02

Well, police were involved again, but I didn't get a summons (sorry, I forgot to assault them). But I did manage to get hit by a van van while riding my Coker to school this morning. Who's ever been hit by a car while riding a unicycle? Amazingly, not only wasn't I hurt, but it wasn't even my fault. However, I am quickly running out of extra lives.

I was pedaling down Flatbush Ave at 7:20 this morning. Even then, this avenue is pretty dangerous. I was in the far right part of the far right lane, but a school 'bus' (actually a van) clipped my left elbow (which is attache, via my left arm, to my left hand, which was holding onto the extension built on to my uni). I felt a little nudge and wasn't sure what had happened, but it became obvious soon enough when the idiot who hit me then veered further left (probably his poor judgment or instinct, since he had already hit me) and tore off part of the back bumper of a passing car. I hopped off the Coker safely and examined my elbow to make sure it was ok. There was a tiny scrape; no bruise.

You might think that the bus driver would apologize and feel bad, but he was a total jerk. He kept saying that it was my fault for getting hit, just for riding 'one of those crazy one-wheelers' on Flatbush. My arguments were wasted on him. The guy whose car he hit was naturally aware that this man was a bit nuts, so we avoided him. Partly because of the bus driver's terrible attitude, I decided to stick around so that when police arrived, I could tell what happened as the first step in getting this bad driver (and jerk) off the road.

My advice, however, is if anything similar ever happens to you, there is no point in staying. I wasted an hour and was late for school. When the cops finally arrived, they did nothing, and this guy will drive that bus until he causes a major accident.

By the way, I always wear a helmet and wrist guards, and I try to ride carefully when in traffic. This on wasn't my fault. And no, I am never riding on Flatbush again. But I should be able to.

New Low on Cokey: Near-Death Experience

4/16/02

Today I reached a new low in Coker riding, tho luckily no one and no thing was injured.

I was riding to my mom's on the Upper West Side of Manhattan as I do several times a week. Having missed a light, I decided, as I have done before, to ride the wrong way up Broadway at 79th St. For those unfamiliar with Manhattan, let's just say it's a pretty busy area most of the time, and this was 3 in the afternoon.

It didn't help that was on my cel phone. I always have a harder time adjusting when on the phone, and my worst falls have been while talking on one.

Anyway, I felt a lurch as the road suddenly sagged -- later I saw that there is this 6" dip in the road -- and I knew I'd be making an unplanned dismount. At the time, I was going about 10mph. The problem was that I began to fall to the right -- into oncoming traffic. Luckily, since the light had just changed, there were fewer than usual cars coming at me, but I still knew I had to jump off. I tried holding the extension to regain my balance, but my slippery hands (I was sweaty and had sun lotion on, too) couldn't hold on.* I landed on my feet and watched as the Coker zoomed out in front of me, across all three lanes of traffic, flopped a few times, and came to rest, amazingly, in the grassy island which divides Broadway at this part in the city. Since the cars were not too close as this happened, I made angel motions to warn motorists to slow down, and they did. I sheepishly retrieved the monster uni, crossed the street, hopped
on, and rode home.

I am never riding the wrong way on a busy street again, esp. when on the phone. And I am looking forward to the day when I don't need to go into Manhattan three times a week to tutor. Then I can just ride around the park for exercise.

* Word to the unwise: If you are (stupidly) in my position, do NOT attempt to catch the uni. I realized that had I done so, a car could have smashed into the Coker and knocked it thru me. That's why I made little effort to hold on once I knew I was falling off.

Hope your riding is safer than mine was.

David "Changed Man" Stone
Co-founder, Unatics of NY

Added later:
I actually never shook afterwards. I didn't see flashing before my eyes anything but a few cars. No white tunnel. Just this sorta surreal feeling like in one of those movies where the audience sees what WOULDA happened if the protagonist hadn't done this dumb thing. I guess from here on in, I get to be Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life."

A Year with Cokey

4/12/02

Here are some highs and lows in the approximately one year I've had my Coker.

Lows (and almost lows):
* some scary UPDs, one at 15mph, another where I landed on and broke the screen on my PDA (tho it saved my lower back)
* the pepper spray incident
* nearly smashed into those idiots with the Xmas tree
* recently landed on the bike of some moron delivering pizza and got a nice gash on my shin
* scary moments where I nearly got hit by cars
* almost got a summons for riding thru a red light in front of the police van

Highs
* pulled over by a cop car by a cop who wanted info and later joined our club!
* Rode for miles alongside my brother, various bike paths. Those are always special moments.
* Bike NY -- over 50 miles that day, followed by a few hours of hanging out with my club members (and more riding, but not much more)
* Unithon III -- rode 28+ miles that day and met some really nice people
* Century Ride -- completed 80 miles in about 8 hours (incuding breaks).
* Won the (Coker) Marathon ride at the convention
* Got into much better cardiovascular shape as a result of riding over 200 miles a month (sometimes 400 miles a month). I have ridden over 2,000 so far.
* Riding to work (now 26 miles a day) is SO MUCH nicer than having to take the train, and takes about as long (the 13 miles home take just over an hour). Also saves money -- for more unicycles!
* I have met lots of nice bikers and even a few unicyclists, some of whom have joined the club
* I MET TOM PENNELL, the WELCOME BACK KOTTER GUY!!!

I think that riding with my brother and meeting Tom really clinched it:
It's been a great year. And thanks to everyone in the usenet group and in my club for all the support.

Would You Like Some Pepper with that Unicycle?

2/10/02

Shortly after September 11, when people in New York (and everywhere) were not quite themselves, I got squirted with pepper spray on the Brooklyn Bridge. But it wasn't as simple as that....

I was riding my Coker into Manhattan that afternoon as I do several times a week. A woman was walking in the cyclist lane, and as I went by her, I said in a voice softened by the recent events, "You are in the cyclist lane" or something of that nature. She spewed something venomous, and I should have realized that there is little to be gained from correcting the impressions of a loon, but I stupidly decided to talk to her. I got off the Coker and approached her, intending only to make sure she'd heard me and to state my case. But as I got nearer, she kept talking like someone whose medication was WAY off. This was my second clue, and second opportunity, to get away fast. Instead, I said something like, "Oh, I didn't realize that you were nuts," and I turned to leave.

I wasn't thinking too clearly myself. Why else would I have enraged a person already over the edge? And on a Coker -- not exactly the best getaway vehicle.

The short version of the ensuing events: She began threatening me, so I had to say that if she tried to hurt me, she'd be making a mistake. She asked if I was going to hit her, and I said, "No, but if you touch me I will." Finally it dawned on me that it was time to go. I tried to turn around and get away again, but as I did so, she pushed the wheel to knock me off. I tried again to go, and she ran behind me. That's when she reached into her fanny pack.

My first guess was that she had a gun, but that really seemed unlikely -- she looked more like an NYU postgrad than a killer. When I saw her little bottle of pepper spray, I tried to run while carrying the Coker but she chased me. I got on but couldn't get any speed. I only found out later that she had already sprayed me by this point, hitting my neck. As I rode and she ran, I knew that she could push me over and possibly hurt me if I fell, so as she got closer, I hopped off, wheeled around, and put the Coker between us to keep her at least a few feet away, and I shielded my face with my hand. My next impulse was to attack her. I have taken a number of self-defense classes, and the best advice I got (ok, the second best, after, "Always try to avoid the conflict in the first place") was to immobilize the weapon. In this case, the weapons were a tiny bottle and the medium-frame woman holding it.

I ran at her, looking away and continuing to cover my face. I knocked her onto the ground, took away her little bottle. She said, "I think it's empty," and I and yelled back, "You better hope so" as I rubbed it in her face. As she tried to hit me, I smacked her head into the Bridge (not too hard -- my phaser was on 'stun') and finally found myself in a position to run away, so I did.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized my left elbow was burning -- and so was my neck. I didn't see the spray squirt out and actually believed that the bottle had failed. In fact, it had hit me in a few places, and now they were burning. As I rode, I read the back of the
bottle and found out that I needed to flush the areas with lots of water. I was passing a car wash at the time, and they let me use a hose to wash down my burns, and when I got home, I took a fairly painful shower. The pain didn't subside for several hours, and I can only imagine how it would feel to get it in the eyes. It really didn't help that this happened on an extremely bright day. Pepper spray and sun should not mix.

The good news is that my attacker never showed up in my life again (I had a fear that she'd be stalking the bridge -- after all, I am a pretty easy and conspicuous target).

Moral: Avoid confrontation. Pepper does not mix well with nuts.

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