Dead Guni. Dead.

My geared unicycle DIED this past Wednesday. I was riding to the bus depot in New Paltz at the time. Correction: I was IN the parking lot where the bus arrives. I had just ridden there and was switching into low gear when it happened, a crunching of gears that sounded bad and felt worse. Within seconds I was phoning Shirra to ask if she could come to the depot to pick up my dead guni. The rest of the day I had to walk (heaven forfend!) and even wound up taking the subway from my mom's to Port Authority on my way home. I can't even remember the previous time I took the subway, but I think I was dressed pretty nicely and heading back from a conference.

The next day I took the guni apart and sent it back to Switzerland, where its inventor (Schlumpf) lives. I'd already contacted him, so he knows it's on its way (and should arrive shortly, since I mailed it Express). It turns out that I'm the first person to break the new hub. Go me.

In the meantime, I have been riding my new mountain unicycle instead. Yes, I've gone from guni to muni. It certainly offers a different ride -- quite slow in comparison, especially when riding long stretches like Route 32N -- but it's great for riding up our unpaved road at night. Still, I hope I get my geared unicycle back fast.

Inefficiency Expert

I read "Cheaper by the Dozen" to the kids a couple years ago and was amazed to learn that the father of the 12 kids was a professional efficiency expert. I sometimes wish I'd gone into that field.

I'm no good at following oral directions, so when I'm lost, I ask a local for directions, carry out the first step, and then ask someone else, and so on, till I get home. Part of the problem is that I often forget or confuse directions when I'm listening (just ask the wife). The other reason is that my geographic abilities are severely hampered. Some people have a bad sense of direction. I prefer to say that I have an excellent sense of misdirection.

But my spacial and temporal senses kick in when I'm loading a dishwasher or packing groceries. People who see me putting our purchases into boxes at the market always comment that I'm so organized, not only in how I fill the boxes but also in the way I control the time. I'm the guy who puts all of the frozen goods in one box and all the fridge stuff in another, just to save time unpacking at home. I love to use the fewest resources and take the shortest time to get my work done.

Conversely, it kills me to see things done inefficiently. I've been known to ask bad parkers to move their cars up a foot or two so that they don't inadvertently take up two spaces - even when I'm just walking along the sidewalk. I can't stand stopping my car when a light is about to turn red because I know that I'll be wasting gas waiting for the green (but don't tell this to Geico). I can't stand when teachers use all new sheets to print out class materials that would look just as good on gently-used paper.

I'm writing this while sitting in a queue, waiting for a parking space at the small lot abutting a private beach here in Martha's Vineyard. You need a beach pass for your car in order to park here in the first place, but normally there are plenty of spaces. Today, however, I'm car #5 in line to enter. What really irks me, tho, is that there are a bunch of people who parked two feet from their neighbor. Had the attendant spaced them better, at least two other cars could fit in the small lot.

How does this (loosely) connect to unicycling? Well, unis are undeniably compact compared to bikes; they're much easier to transport in a car or on a train or bus. And for short errands they're handier (and speedier) too, in part because you can take them into most shops and other public places. They're also great as a way to get around fast when you need your hands. I find unis much more convenient than bikes or inline skates (who wants to carry around an extra pair of shoes?). Skateboards are
pretty high up on the convenience scale, too, but for longer commutes, unicycles are faster for sure.

Riding from New Paltz to Manhattan

Well, not really!

I live down Route 32N in New Paltz. The bus depot for Adirondack Trailways is just 3 miles from home, a ride that takes about 19 minutes, including 7 minutes spent taking the unpaved and undulating private road from my house to 32N. The rest of the ride, while smooth, is a bit harrowing due to the fact that for most of the ride, cars are permitted to drive 55 mph right beside me as I keep my balance along a thin bicycling lane. Actually, it's not a bike lane at all -- just a narrow bit of tarmac that passes for one.

I take the Trailways coach to Manhattan's Port Authority terminal at 41st Street and 8th Avenue. From there, my mom's place is within spitting distance (an apt description of my riding conditions this afternoon) -- a mere 2.5 miles north of the Big Apple's big depot. That ride takes less than 20 minutes. In all, I get a total of 11 miles of riding each day, which ends up being a bit more than I rode last year. I liked the ride more last year, tho, since much of it was alongside Prospect Park.

I'm not looking forward to riding on a snowy day -- 32N is dangerous enough without slick conditions -- but there is good news. I found out today that I can request a stop along the route of the Trailways coach, and the driver will honor any request. Happily for me, this means that I can get depot-to-driveway service on my way back to New Paltz. I'll still have to negotiate my crazy private road, but that's not so bad; I can always walk if the dark, slick, bumpy, uphill conditions don't permit uni'ing.