Inefficiency Expert

I read "Cheaper by the Dozen" to the kids a couple years ago and was amazed to learn that the father of the 12 kids was a professional efficiency expert. I sometimes wish I'd gone into that field.

I'm no good at following oral directions, so when I'm lost, I ask a local for directions, carry out the first step, and then ask someone else, and so on, till I get home. Part of the problem is that I often forget or confuse directions when I'm listening (just ask the wife). The other reason is that my geographic abilities are severely hampered. Some people have a bad sense of direction. I prefer to say that I have an excellent sense of misdirection.

But my spacial and temporal senses kick in when I'm loading a dishwasher or packing groceries. People who see me putting our purchases into boxes at the market always comment that I'm so organized, not only in how I fill the boxes but also in the way I control the time. I'm the guy who puts all of the frozen goods in one box and all the fridge stuff in another, just to save time unpacking at home. I love to use the fewest resources and take the shortest time to get my work done.

Conversely, it kills me to see things done inefficiently. I've been known to ask bad parkers to move their cars up a foot or two so that they don't inadvertently take up two spaces - even when I'm just walking along the sidewalk. I can't stand stopping my car when a light is about to turn red because I know that I'll be wasting gas waiting for the green (but don't tell this to Geico). I can't stand when teachers use all new sheets to print out class materials that would look just as good on gently-used paper.

I'm writing this while sitting in a queue, waiting for a parking space at the small lot abutting a private beach here in Martha's Vineyard. You need a beach pass for your car in order to park here in the first place, but normally there are plenty of spaces. Today, however, I'm car #5 in line to enter. What really irks me, tho, is that there are a bunch of people who parked two feet from their neighbor. Had the attendant spaced them better, at least two other cars could fit in the small lot.

How does this (loosely) connect to unicycling? Well, unis are undeniably compact compared to bikes; they're much easier to transport in a car or on a train or bus. And for short errands they're handier (and speedier) too, in part because you can take them into most shops and other public places. They're also great as a way to get around fast when you need your hands. I find unis much more convenient than bikes or inline skates (who wants to carry around an extra pair of shoes?). Skateboards are
pretty high up on the convenience scale, too, but for longer commutes, unicycles are faster for sure.