My License Plate and My Jewish Identity

So I've never told you the story about my license plate? My 2001 Red Aztek with the UNICYCLE plate? Well, then, read on.

We bought our car in 2001 thinking that it would come in handy when we moved to Brooklyn (and it did). Initially it had a normal license plate (actually, that's protocol -- you can't just start with the vanity plate). Then Shirra and I settled on a cute vanity plate: QTP2T.

Too cute.

It wasn't long* before I realized that this plate didn't suit a car being driven primarily by a dude, so I went back to the website where you can order a new license plate. UNICYCLE wasn't available, but UN1CYCLE, UNACYCLE, and UNICYCL3 were. I decided on the version with the 1 in it. There was something wrong with my Internet order, however, so I phoned the department and found out that you need to have had your newly-issued license plate for at least *three weeks. The woman I spoke to told me that UN1CYCLE was still available. As a lark, I mentioned that I had actually been after UNICYCLE instead but that it hadn't been available. "It is now," she said.

Those three words changed my life.

Actually, that's just a joke. I doubt those were her very words, and certainly my life is no different now, but I know that whatever she said, it made me feel extremely lucky.

But I had forgotten to consider one thing: Why was the UNICYCLE plate suddenly available? When I posted about my great fortune to the unicyclist.com forum, one of the respondents (John Foss) wrote back to tell me that the previous owner of the plate (an older gentleman named Ken Britton from Canandaigua, NY) must have either decided to relinquish the plate ... or died. Gulp. Isn't that so typical for a Jew? I can enjoy my happy news only if I remember the pain and suffering in the world.

But then, there is the joke about Morty who visits Saul in the hospital. Saul tells of a terrible illness and how it has puzzled his doctors while ravaging his health, but all Morty keeps telling him is, "It coulda bin voyss." Exasperated by his friend's uncaring refrain, Saul finally asks how things could be worse. Morty explains, "It coulda bin me." So I hope that Ken has simply decided he doesn't need UNICYCLE, but if he did have to die so that I could get it, I'm sorry to hear it -- but I'm still glad that I got the plate.