Schmutz Wednesday

Growing up, and specifically: growing up Jewish, I never learned what Ash Wednesday was. From 2nd thru 8th grade, however, I went to a French school (Fleming) founded by a Catholic woman and populated by a relatively high percentage of Catholic students and teachers. Once a year, I'd see some of my fellow students sporting black streaks on their foreheads, but as soon as the day was over, I'd forget all over again so that come the following year, it was me reaching to some friend's noggin to wipe away the blot that I assumed had more to do with a marker than with religious fervor.

High school and college didn't change this, and by early adulthood, I was playing the same tune. Once a year, I'd find myself generously offering to wipe clean some friend's face only to be reminded yet again that it was Ash Wednesday. It's funny how you go from nice person ("Here, let me get that schmutz off your forehead") to putz ("No! It's Ash Wednesday!") so quickly. 364 days a year, you're doing someone a favor ("Hey, you've got a little newsprint stain right there"), but once a year, you've outed yourself as a religious moron. I guess it's the equivalent of the non-Jews who wish us a happy Yom Kippur on the Jewish holyday of atonement. Speaking of which: At least I didn't wish anyone a happy Lent today.

So, thanks for putting up with us on this special Wednesday. We'll always forgive you for mispronouncing Hannukah if you continue to forgive us for trying to clean that schmutz off your face.