newyorkunicycleblog

Getting Back into Long-Distance Riding

2011-04-30T21:39:00.003-04:00

At the end of the 2007 unicycle convention, I asked my eventual teammates, Dave White and John Foss, to join me in making a 3-man team for the 2008 Ride the Lobster race in Nova Scotia. All of us had to train a great deal beforehand, and about a year later, we raced all out for 5 days across that small Canadian island. Over the five days, each of us covered about 180-190 miles, riding all out in stints of between two and ten miles. At the end of the race, I began suffer tendonitis and knee problems, so I didn't do a whole lot of long-distance riding until Dane Smith visited me for 11 days last month. We went on a few rides in New Paltz and NYC, and I found myself having a great time and feeling better physically. So I've decided to get back into riding full time, devoting at least an hour a day to it when possible. My goal is to ride at least 100 miles per week. Primarily I'm using my 36" ungeared Coker at home and my geared 29" Schlumpf in Manhattan.

When I was training for the Lobster, I found myself riding in all sorts of conditions, and sure enough, they all helped out in Nova Scotia. So a few days ago, I had a great ride that reminded me of practically everything our team encountered in Canada.

I took off on my Coker during a drizzle that turned into pouring rain (A) by the time I got 2 miles from home. At that point, my riding went from a flat, paved road (B) to the flat gravel road (C) of the rail trail. I took the trail north out of New Paltz and into some neighboring towns, sticking to the trail just to see how bad the conditions would be. They were pretty bad! At one point I got thrown by the mud and ended up covered in muck. After that, it was hard to remount without getting silt all over my hands. At another point later, my hands were too wet and cold to activate the touch screen on my phone (A). Near the end of the trail ride, the sky suddenly got so dark that it looked like I was riding during an eclipse (A).

The rail trail ends at a point 7 miles later, turning off onto a really steep, paved road (D) that leads down into the next town. I bought some pretzel rolls at a great new shop called Twisted Foods (spending my soggy $20 bill), got them bagged up really well, and headed home. The return route involved a steep uphill that forced me to stand up for each leg stroke in order to make any progress (E); my legs are still feeling that bit. After finally ascending that hill, I decided to take a longer route back that skirted a few ponds and a river (F). The rain finally began to let up (G), and the riding at this point was quite peaceful since there were almost no cars. One lady did slow her car down to chat about getting her young son a unicycle (H). My butt was beginning to get sore (I), but I decided to take the long way home (avoiding a 3-mile shortcut) because I was having so much fun.

When I arrived chez Stone, I was covered in muck, soaked to the gills, and pretty smelly (J). Shirra enjoyed a pretzel roll and I stripped and rushed upstairs for a shower. Shirra later told me that it took two extra rinses to clean out the washing machine after my clothes had been in it (K). My sneakers took two days to dry.

LOBSTER EQUIVALENTS:
A. Day 2, and especially Day 3 (The time trial). Man, did we get wet!
B. Much of our riding was on those nice, flat roads.
C. ... but there were those gravel roads that I loved, esp'ly on Day 4, where I managed to reach my fastest-yet speed (23 mph) while riding on a lengthy gravel downhill bit.
D. Ugh. There were some pretty crazy downhills during our Lobster ride. I somehow managed to miss the two worst of them -- each of my teammates got one of them, as I recall.
E. Double-ugh. Those uphills were always killing me! So often I had to stand up between strokes just to get another half-rev closer to our support van!
F. I loved those gorgeous flat parts as we rode around water. My favorite was a lake on Day 2.
G. Day 4 we finally saw the last of the drizzle.
H. I loved seeing all the nice people along the ride, yelling encouragement from cars or from the roadside. The best, of course, were the kids outside a school who came to cheer us on.
I. Sore butt! That wasn't a major issue for me, happily, because we took frequent breaks, but there were a few moments!
J. That pretty much described all of us on Day 3
K. ... until we went to that laundromat. I remember the terrible smell of the dryer after we'd put in our socks and sneakers for a bit!

So that's at least 11 different ways that this two-hour ride encapsulated our amazing week.

Disappointed: No Love from the Colbert Report

2011-04-19T15:13:00.002-04:00

On March 26, I arrived in NYC earlier than usual for a unicycle Saturday. The plan was to meet in the courtyard of the Union Theological Seminary at 11:30 or so. The associate producer and producer were there, along with a cameraman, sound man, and an assistant. It was about 35° outside, but for some reason, they'd chosen this spot for the interview. Planes flew overhead at odd intervals, and trucks rumbled by on occasion, so there were several times when I had to repeat an answer, sometimes more than once. The interview lasted about 45 minutes.

Afterwards, we all made our way to Grant's Tomb, a short walk away. The crew interviewed some of the members, especially the kids, and they filmed us riding around. They stayed for 3 hours, and got some adorable shots of Adam Cohen's son Ziggy, 4, who is the youngest rider on the East Coast. They also asked him a few questions.

Three weeks later, the piece aired. My interview was completely absent, replaced by a kook law professor who thinks that unicycles should be banned from sidewalks because they're as dangerous as linebackers rushing at you. The piece was ok, and there were some funny bits at the expense of the law kook, but I was quite disappointed: I was really looking forward to at least a few seconds of screen time, but they didn't even include more than about 3 seconds of Ziggy, and there was no mention made of the club. The piece was also not especially funny or cute, and it made Kyle look a bit doofy, too, when it could easily have made unicycling look totally safe (by showing more of the club and of Ziggy) or totally crazy (by showing people riding around crowded sidewalks). Instead, it stayed somewhere in the middle.

With the exception of Adam Cohen and, of course, Kyle, I think the members of the club were at least a bit disappointed; after all, there wasn't much to be happy about. I'm bummed that I wasted my time helping out, and I'm disappointed that I got nothing fun out of the experience.

Oh, and if you're dying to see me on TV, I'm the one in the floppy hat on the right side of the screen at the 4:24 mark. Don't blink.

Next Stop: The Colbert Report

2011-03-28T16:52:00.004-04:00

I'll be part of a Colbert Report episode next week.

Thanks to the Kyle situation (see the post just below this one), I was contacted six weeks ago about appearing on the Colbert Report. The subject: Kyle's lawsuit against NYC and the safety of unicycling in general. I happily acquiesced.

The associate producer, Kim, emailed me about setting up a date, and initially we were shooting for the first Sunday in March, but the weather didn't cooperate, so we found a date that ended up working: March 26. It wasn't during our regularly scheduled meeting times, but with the excitement about the taping and the fact that it had rained the week before (on our usual day to meet), we had a big turnout despite the near-freezing can't-believe-this-is-Spring temperatures.

Before the meeting, I was interviewed for about 45 minutes. The camera was set up in a courtyard of the Union Theological Seminary on 121st Street and Broadway (I'm not sure why this outdoor spot was chosen on such a chilly day). The producer, a young man named Aaron, was off-camera, asking me questinos that I would then answer by repeating the question within the answer. So if the question was "Would you consider yourself a unicycle expert?" my answer would be, "Yes, I am a unicycle expert." The questions were mainly about how unicycles aren't actually dangerous to pedestrians; towards the end of the interview, I also had to announce that unicycles are not the enemy within. Despite the cold, I enjoyed the experience.

Afterward I thought back to one of the moments during the interview. I'd been asked to repeat a sentence about unicycles and bicycles, and I accidentally said that "a unicycle has two wheels and a bicycle has one." The cameraman caught the error, and I corrected my statement. But it occurred to me that if they wanted to make me look really foolish, they could put together my 'unicycle expert' sentence with the mistake about the wheels. I didn't think that they were going for that type of result, but just to be on the safe side, I emailed Aaron a short note to thank him for the fun day and to ask about that possibility. He said not to worry. I slept a lot better after that!

The show airs soon, and I'm really looking forward to it.

Arrested Developments (not me!)

2010-11-24T19:05:00.003-05:00

My brother forwarded me a link in some newspaper about a unicyclist who is suing the city over two summonses he'd recently received for unicycling.

Several of us have been pulled over for unicycling, and in rare cases, riders have been given summonses. None of those summonses has stuck. I've been pulled over a couple times, but the officers never gave me a ticket. My friend Joe Merrill once got ticketed, but when he went to court, the judge dismissed the ticket immediately.

There are two laws on the books in NYC that touch on this subject. One, cited below, defines a 'bicycle' as having two or three wheels. The other law has to do with wheel diameter; apparently if it is taller than 26", it shouldn't be ridden on the sidewalk.

Kyle Peterson was riding a small-wheel unicycle when he got ticketed -- twice -- but he decided to fight back with a lawsuit of his own. The problem is that his suit made the news, and I've always advocated that unicyclists NOT draw attention to ourselves. After all, it wouldn't be hard for the city government to simply change the law. That could really put the kibosh on many riders like my brother and me.

Here is an article from a Brooklyn paper called The Brooklyn Paper:

This wheel’s on fire — Cyclones’ unicyclist sues city for $3M over wrongful tickets
By Andy Campbell
The Brooklyn Paper

Unicycle legend Kyle Peterson got two tickets for riding his one-wheeler on the sidewalk. Now, he’s fighting back with a $3-million lawsuit.

Call it a uni-bombshell.

The Brooklyn Cyclones’ juggling unicycle-riding vendor Kyle Peterson is suing the NYPD for $3 million after cops ticketed him twice for riding his one-wheeled wonder on a Classon Avenue sidewalk — even though it’s legal to do because the law doesn’t consider the unicycle a bicycle.

But the precedent-setting uni-lawsuit — which Peterson’s attorney filed on Nov. 15 — isn’t about the money, revenge or even Peterson himself. It’s about ending unnecessary summonses against unicyclists forever.

“And if you were to sue for $5,000, it would have no effect on future illegal summonses,” said Peterson’s lawyer, Paul Hale. “The only way to stop the city’s blatant and illegal activity is by going for the pocketbook.”

The one-wheeled drama started on Dec. 4, 2007, when Peterson was riding home near Madison Avenue at 3 am, according to court documents. Two plainclothes detectives stopped him in an unmarked car, detained him “for approximately 30 minutes in the dead of winter,” allegedly taunted him by singing circus music, then ticketed him for riding a bicycle on the sidewalk.

Apparently, the cops didn’t realize that city law defines a bike as a two- or three-wheeled riding apparatus. As such, Peterson’s case was quickly dismissed at a hearing.

But on Nov. 2, cops again ticketed Peterson on Classon Avenue after they noticed him unicycling on the sidewalk.

“I told the cops that I’d been through this before and that unicycling on the sidewalk is completely legal,” Peterson said on Monday.

But Peterson’s educational outreach blew up in his face — with no other way to summons him, the cops wrote him up for disorderly conduct instead, court papers show.

Peterson is retaining a lawyer for that case, too, and says the “bogus” charge will likely be dismissed as well. But he’s had enough with the summonses — not only because the unicycle is his main mode of transportation, but also because riding on a small, slow, one-wheeled vehicle in the street isn’t safe....

Peterson (whose surname might actually be 'Petersen') made the mistake of correcting the officer who was writing the original summons for bicycling. This meant that he essentially forced the cop to give him a different (and more serious) ticket. Even though the 'disorderly conduct' charge will also be thrown out, the risk is that it won't, in which case he'll have a crime on his record, which is worse than the ticket.

There were many problems with the situation. For one thing, Peterson was not doing anything illegal OR wrong. After all, he wasn't endangering anyone at the time. So the cops were wrong to give him a ticket. But if Peterson indirectly gets the law changed so that unicycling on the sidewalk is outlawed, then he will have done a great disservice to unicyclists all over The City.

Update on the Knees

2010-09-09T00:15:00.002-04:00

I had arthro on my right knee nearly two months ago. The surgery went very well, and I literally walked out of the hospital that afternoon (albeit with my wife's help -- I was quite woozy). Within a few days, I was unicycling... gingerly at first, and then with more confidence.

That's when I noticed that the pain in my left knee had gotten a lot worse. It's been a little clunky forever, and it got worse after the Lobster, but in the two years since that race, it seemed to have plateaued so that for the most part, it was ok. Now I'm not so sure.

I went thru several weeks of physical therapy for my right knee after the surgery, and I don't think that I was favoring my right knee or anything, but when I went back for my 6-week checkup on the right knee, my only complaint was the left one. The doctor gave me a cortisone shot. Two days later, it wasn't any better, but now it feels ok. It's possible that it will hurt again after I go riding for any appreciable distance, but lately I haven't had a chance.

I certainly wouldn't mind going in for arthro again -- that was a breeze, and my right knee feels much better. I have a feeling that the problems in my left knee are almost identical and that I'll be going under the knife (or the mini-camera and such) again soon.

NY Unicycle Festival!!!

2010-09-04T22:17:00.002-04:00

In the realm of unicycling, I've had little to shout about lately. I still have a wonky knee -- tho this time it's the left one -- and I haven't been able to ride much lately. On our recent trip to Martha's Vineyard, I brought my Coker hoping, as in past years, that I could ride several miles a day, as I did last summer, but I only managed one painful trip to the local store before putting the big, rusty beast away. So I am thrilled to have some happy news to report on unicycling.

Today marked Day 2 of the first annual NYC Unicycle Festival, and it was a blast. Day One, involving a 13-mile ride across the Brooklyn Bridge and down to Coney Island, was out of the question for me (see above! I had a whole weekend to think about!), but today was the main event: Governor's Island.

The day was organized by the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus, and they did an incredible job for an inaugural affair. Aided by many volunteers (quite a few from my club), the Cirkus folks arranged a day that didn't rush everyone from one activity to the next but instead allowed everyone a leisurely time that was packed with things to do -- not an easy feat.

Emmett, who just turned 11 while on Martha's Vineyard, rode down with my in the little Smart Car. Amazingly we found a parking spot near the ferry terminal (try that in an ordinary car!). A few minutes later, we were the last people to make it onto the 11:30 ferry. Because I wasn't sure whether we'd need different unicycles for different events, I had each of us bring two unis, but Emmett isn't quite solid enough to ride one while pushing or carrying another, so I ended up holding two unicycles and wearing a heavy backpack full of all of our snacks. I was relieved to be sitting on the ferry, where several other unicycle riders were already sitting. It's a 5-minute ride across the Hudson to Governor's Island.

At noon, Emmett and I joined in with a huge parade processional featuring about 200 riders. I participated in a brief interview with some folks from CBS News and then joined in with unicycle hockey at 1:00. It was low-key, and I made sure not to take too long a turn, but I managed to score a few goals for my pick-up team. At 2:00, there was a unicycle basketball demonstration from some of the members of the King Charles Basketball Troupe. It was exciting for me to be so close to some of the people who had inspired me to ride back when I was in single digits. I also spoke with some other riders who had formed an off-shoot group called the Royal Riders, all of whom started riding even before I did (which was in 1980). The King Charles demo also featured some great double-dutch jump roping on unicycles. This was one of my favorite segments of the day.

Another great time was the pick-up basketball game that came next. To my amazement (and to the amazement of my son), I actually made 4 baskets. Anyone who knows me is aware of my terrible basketball skills. I think that the nets were pretty low -- maybe 9' instead of 10' -- but I was definitely in a one-time-only groove. I shot the winning basket behind my head, throwing the ball up past my face and over my head, off the backboard, and into the net behind me. It was the only possible shot, but there's no way I should have been able to make it. All I could think was that it was nice to inhabit the body of a decent shooter, even for just a few minutes.

Following the basketball games, Emmett and I watched some trials riding. There was an awesome trials course built rather quickly by some of the volunteers. Emmett and I worked on some basic obstacles (like the teeter-totter), but there were some heavy hitters trying out very difficult hops and jumps. Next came some fun relay races, and Emmett and I were able to join or put together some winning teams, including one with my brother, John, on his Coker.

Thruout the day, volunteers were helping newbies learn to unicycle, and I did my part, working with a few folks and offering advice.

Finally, after a ride around the island in a vain search for a snack stand that turned out to be just a minute away from where we were, we joined in with a group photo and then headed back to the ferry. I asked one of the Bindlestiff folks to try to tally up how many riders came out. We were guessing about 300. That's pretty amazing for a first time effort. Well done, Bindlestiffs!

It's Official: Torn Medial Meniscus. Surgery Next Month

2010-06-08T16:51:00.003-04:00

Since mid-October, my right knee has had pain, swelling, and discomfort, tho not always at the same time. Initially my doctor was very patient; there's little point in performing an MRI if the problem just goes away on its own. We played 'wait and see.' We 'saw' for a long time that while the symptoms had abated a good deal, I still had some pain and discomfort depending on my recent activity level, and I've been walking with a limp for too long to remember. Finally, my doc relented and prescribed an MRI last week. The results are in, and officially I have a 'complex medial meniscal tear' as well as a slight sprain of the ACL. The 'complex' part means only that the tearing is in two planes rather than somewhat flat. It doesn't really add to the problem in a negative way, as the name seems to imply.

Although he was initially reluctant to bring out the big guns early on, the doctor had no hesitation about setting up a surgery date as soon as possible. He was ready to go this Monday! Unfortunately, my schedule is full then, but happily he's free a month from today, and the timing couldn't be better: It's a Thursday, and I have a light tutoring load that week, so I can have the operation, recover over the weekend, and get back into action the following Monday without missing any work.

Apparently the recovery time can be very fast. The doc said that I'd be walking out of the hospital on crutches and that I'd be walking without them the very next day! He anticipates that I could drive as early as that following Monday, but we agreed that a long commute might be too painful, so I'll have to decide whether just to take the bus that day. And then by the end of July, I should be able to engage in sports again. By mid-August, I should be able to unicycle around Martha's Vineyard, as I have done for many years.

Hurty Knee

2010-04-28T14:19:00.002-04:00

I have a hurty knee. My left knee is a bit cranky, still, but on the whole it's probably as good as it's going to get. My right knee, however, has been mildly achy for weeks.

About 4 weeks ago, I ran around the field to enact situational plays for my son's little league team. No problem. But I had so much fun that I did it again a week later. This time my knee swole up and was almost unbendable. I knew that I'd overdone it, but I was hoping the swelling would subside quickly. Eventually I made and appointment with my knee man, and he agreed that there wasn't much he could do. I seem to have a case of 'old knee.'

I figured maybe some of the problem stemmed not from too much uni'ing but from too little. After all, since I started driving into NYC last year, I've gotten almost no exercise. But my recent riding has only made things worse. I'll keep up with it for a bit longer, but I may have to start thinking about things to strengthen my knee even more gently.

Health Update, Oct 09

2009-10-03T22:55:00.002-04:00

My tendinitises (tendinites?) are gone: my elbow is fine, my ankle is fine. Gone for good? I guess that depends on how hard I push myself, but I've been fine for a year, and my 80-mile ride in September didn't cause any problems whatsoever.

My left knee is still out of kilter, but at least it's been pain-free for a long time. It's probably simply settled into a comfortable groove that's not quite what it used to be but isn't going to cause any new problems for a long time. I'm fine with it. When I go for long rides, I wear a soft, hinged knee brace with a cutout for the kneecap.

I've ridden around the Central Park bike loop a few times since the Century ride -- no problems. So I'm excited to keep at it. In the next few weeks (before the ice and snow ruin things for a few months), I'll be riding around the loop a few times a week.

Funny Aftermath to My Century Attempt

2009-09-20T21:40:00.002-04:00

One of my unicycle brethren from the unicyclist.com forum notified me that there were a few Twitter tweets about my ride during the Century ride. One person apparently felt that unicycles shouldn't be allowed. I didn't see that post when I searched for it, but I did find a funny one from 'slothlove' who wrote: "Just ride 55 miles in the #nycentury. Felt pretty good about myself until I saw the guy on the unicycle."

Gotta love that.

I told a few of my fellow cyclists that day that part of what drives me to continue when my body is telling me to take a cab is that it's fun to make the bikers feel like they're not working hard enough. Next year I definitely have to get in shape so that I can complete the full 100 miles.

80 Miles on a Unicycle (an Incomplete Century)

2009-09-15T12:47:00.000-04:00

I set out this past Sunday to ride my 2nd full Century. I made it 80% of the way.

I rode my only complete C in 2003. Last year, I had 89 miles under my belt when I had to stop due to a really bad case of saddle soreness. Basically my cheeks looked like Kris Kringle's. I was determined not to let that happen again.

This ride starts at 6 am at the northern end of Central Park, but I took off earlier than that in order to avoid the rush and mainly to give myself a better chance of finishing by 6 pm, when the ride comes to an official end.

AVOIDING DIAPER RASH
I donned two pairs of padded cycle shorts and slathered on enough chamois butter for three people. I reapplied the butter thruout the day, and as a result, I suffered no friction pain during or after the ride. I do, however, have a better understanding of the term 'numbnuts.'

AVOIDING SUNBURN
It was a lovely sunny day -- too lovely, in fact, which is how I found myself terribly dehydrated midway thru -- so I was glad that I'd remembered sun block and that the stuff still worked. I applied some when the sun finally showed up at about 7:30 and then again a few hours later. I am not sure how much sunlight can filter thru the slats of my helmet, but I didn't want to end up looking like a zebra-head.

30 MILES in 3 HOURS
That's not a quick pace, but including breaks, and given how little training and general riding I'd done in the previous 12 months, I was happy with how things started for me. My breaks totaled about 40 minutes by mile 30, but while I was on the unicycle, I had been maintaining a 13.1-mph pace, which is quite fast given the frequent slow-downs and stops along this ride. I mainly stayed in high gear this time since last year's ride produced a catastrophic fall when the unicycle didn't shift gears properly, pretty much ending my ride (along with the raw bum cheeks).

I figured that I had 9 hours to complete the next 70 miles, an easy enough task. I'd felt good riding the 13 miles from my mom's apartment building (81st St off Central Park, Manhattan) to rest stop #1 (Prospect Park, Brooklyn). I felt pretty good riding from there to rest stop #2, 17 miles later. Unfortunately, the ride organizers had shortened the space between stops #2 and #3 without adding an addition stop between #3 and #4. This meant that riders had a 30-mile gap before the next big stop (Kissena Park, Queens). And after another hour of riding, I didn't think I'd ever make it that far.

WINDED and DEHYDRATED
It didn't help that we had a strong breeze blowing in our faces for most of the Queens segment of the ride. The bikers complained about it, too, but they acknowledged that I probably had it worse because my sitting position (on a unicycle) makes me much less aerodynamic than they are. There were plenty of times where, because of the wind and my exhaustion, I rode in low gear at about 6-8 miles an hour.

At some point I finally realized that my muscles were screaming for more water and more electrolytes, but at the time I just felt like I had lost all of my energy. When it dawned on me that I was dehydrated, I started drinking a lot more from my backpack hydration system, nearly emptying its recently-replenished 70-oz bladder. This meant that from that point on, I frequently had to stop in order to empty my own (less-than-70 oz) bladder, and since the organizers had forgotten to include even one portable toilet between rest stops, I invented quite a few of my own. Sorry, Queens.

I stopped frequently between mile 40 and mile 50, and pretty soon I had most of the gas back in my proverbial tank. During my recovery period of about two hours, I wasn't able to maintain more than 12 mph and at some points had to put the uni into low gear, but after about two hours, I was back to about 80% strength, able to keep up with some of the slower-paced bikers for long stretches.

LOST
At this point, it actually helped that I got lost. I had been riding with a pack of about 20 bikers. Whenever we came to a busy intersection, I managed to weave thru the traffic before the rest of my pack; I've been good at reading traffic ever since I began serious uni commuting 10 years ago. The peloton would pass me between stop lights, and then I'd catch up to them, zig and zag thru the cars, and get ahead once more. At about mile 50, I was feeling strong, and as I approached the group waiting for the light, I jokingly announced, "I'm making my move!" as I crossed against the light once again. By the time I looked back, I realized that I'd missed a turn (probably at that light). I was either going to have to find my way back to the course (impossible, since I didn't have a map), return to the spot where I'd gone off course (perhaps adding an additional mile to my ride), or I could ride straight to Kissena Park (rest stop #3), which I discovered was just two miles away. I opted to shorten this part of my ride, and I arrived at the 60-mile rest stop after riding just 53 miles. It was about 11:30 am.

I was more than halfway thru the 100-mile mark in under half the time, but I began to admit to other riders that it was very unlikely that I'd complete the full Century. Pathetically, I managed only 27 more miles in the remaining 4.5 hours.

FINAL REST STOP and the SILLY BRIDGE
After Kissena Park, I set out for the Astoria Park rest stop about 20 miles away. I was feeling better thanks to all the water and electrolytes I was consuming, but I still needed to take breaks just to get some blood flow back into my groin. Because of the long pauses I'd had to take earlier on, I arrived at the final stop -- mile 81 or so for everyone else, mile 74 for me -- too late to have a good shot at finishing 100 miles by 6 pm. I chatted with two guys who were riding a tandem (same ratio of rider to wheel as me, I pointed out, but apparently they still had an easier time), and eventually we all headed off.

This last little stretch (of about 5 miles) stupidly involves a bridge that has an incomplete biking section which forces riders to carry their cycles up and down several series of steps. I have no idea why Transportation Alternatives continues to use this bridge on the route, but it was the final nail in the coffin for my Century chances since it slowed us all down as, like little ants carrying grasshoppers to the anthill, we all made our way across the span. Last year it happened to be worse -- there were more of us trying to cross at the time -- but it still took over 10 minutes to get across about a mile of space. I arrived at the finish line, having ridden 78 miles, at 5 pm. I briefly considered pedaling around the park at least once more, to add 5 miles to my trip, but I decided to call it a day and head back to my car, 2+ miles away. It wasn't 100 miles, but I was happy with the ride, especially considering my lack of preparation, the heavy wind for about 20 miles, and my ability to fight back after that dehydration.

AFTERMATH
I took a strong hot shower (my mom's apartment building has firehouse-power water pipes thanks to old plumbing) and remembered that same experience last year when I could barely tolerate even the coolest mild drip on my ruby-red cheeks. Soon I was driving back to New Paltz, feeling fine. Later that night, I awoke with a weird pain in my wonky left knee, but it went away by the following morning. I have only one muscle that's even slightly sore: my left bicep (!) from holding the extention on my uni. For the first time after a ride over 80 miles, I was able to ride a unicycle the next day.

Getting back in the saddle

2009-05-01T22:42:00.002-04:00

I finally had a chance to go for a lengthy ride this afternoon. I forgot to bring a trip meter of any sort, but I estimated the the loop around Central Park (6.2 miles) took 26 minutes. This isn't a great time (averaging just under 15 mph), but it's not bad for my first lengthy ride in months.

My knee is still really clicky, but it rarely hurts. I happened to jog about a half-mile yesterday in Doc Marten shoes on my way to seeing West Side Story with my mom, and that felt a bit uncomfy at the time. Whlie sitting in the theater, I noticed that I didn't have the leg strength to tap along with the music. Man, I'm out of shape!

So being able to ride around the park at a decent clip was all the more of a relief, considering.

I'll have to get back to riding now that the weather has improved.

I also have an appointment with the doctor this Tuesday. Maybe I'll finally get that MRI.

Update on That Knee of Mine

2009-04-22T22:53:00.003-04:00

Unforch, not much to reporch:

My knee has remained 'clicky' since I first noticed the problem in late Oct (2008). Physical therapy didn't seem to help with the clicking, tho the swelling is mostly gone and I have little pain, and that only after heavy work or uni'ing.

I'm going to make another appointment with the doctor who barely looked at me and seemed to wave off the idea of anything more invasive (oops -- I mean 'expensive') like an MRI or arthroscopic surgery.

Time will tell.

At this point, I can still walk and unicycle, and I'm looking forward to the upcoming uni convention in late July (in Minnesota). My son and I will be driving there in the smart car!

To Knee or Not to Knee, That is the Question

2009-01-08T12:28:00.002-05:00

My left knee has been to a physical therapist ten times now. It seems to have plateaued. At first, it would clunk every so often as I walked up the stairs or otherwise bent it at the wrong angle. In addition, it was looking pretty swollen (my 4yo daughter called it my fat knee). Within a few visits to the P/T, the swelling was down and the clunking had disappeared.

I went back to the same office where I'd had my first visit. A medico (not an official doctor, but something medical nonetheless) initially prescribed the P/T and a few other things, and when I revisited him two weeks ago, he thought I'd need an MRI and maybe some arthroscoping; maybe even arthroscopic surgery. But first I had to see the head honcho, a Dr. Moscowitz.

Dr M had the bedside manner of a crossing guard. Nonetheless, I still had the feeling that his diagnosis is probably correct: Time heals all wounds. He didn't think I'd need an MRI or any scoping. Because the injury had taken awhile to develop, he said, the healing time will be longer than if it had been due to a sudden fall.

I was definitely looking forward to the MRI and even the scoping, but already my knee feels better. I'll keep giving it time. In the meanwhile, I'll keep riding a few blocks everyday and when the weather improves, I'll take my uni for some longer rides.

Check out our new website!!! Plus, a word about my knee

2008-12-17T15:07:00.002-05:00

We've updated the club's website (thanks, Mitch and Ken!). Check it out!!!

In the near future, we'll have even more cool content, and right now you can look at old meeting notes and examine new videos and photos.

In the meantime, here is something you won't learn elsewhere:
My left side continues to heal from that "Ride the Lobster" race this past June. First it was my left ankle (tendinitis), then it was my left elbow (tendinitis, commonly called tennis elbow), and now it's my left knee. Rather than tendinitis, this time the problem is more like arthritis. There was a lot of clunking as tho my knee was out of kilter. At first, I had no pain, but I knew that that state of affairs would change, so I made an appointment with a specialist. After a month of improvement thanks to physical therapy in New Paltz twice a week, it looks like I have some condition I can't recall the name of (femoral patella syndrome, or something like that). Whatever it is, it's not bad, and my prognosis is quite good.

Oddly, I find it easier (less painful) to get around on my 29" uni than to walk, so if I have to locomote more than, say, 100 feet, I'll take the unicycle. This doesn't come up very often, and I'm resting a lot, so I'm sure I'll heal fast. Now if only I could motivate myself to do my exercises more often (STRETCH!!!).

Physical Therapy Now!

2008-11-25T18:10:00.006-05:00

Yes, now I'm receiving P/T for something that's wrong with my left knee. The story gets weirder and weirder!

After the "Ride the Lobster" race back in June, I had a moderate case of tendinitis in my left ankle. This went away with rest and some ibuprofen. Then I started feeling pain in my left arm, especially centered around the elbow. I saw a few doctors about this and had it diagnosed as tennis elbow -- tennis elbow from unicycling. Apparently this was a direct result from holding the extension that comes out of the uni's seat post, and considering that I was holding this thing for dear life all thru the race, this isn't surprising. I also made things a bit worse by riding 85 miles in one day, but that was in September, after the pain had already set in.

Then a few weeks ago, my left knee started to pop. It didn't hurt at the time, but I knew it would soon enough. This time I saw a specialist, and he proclaimed it to be chondromalacia* or maybe something similar. I was given a referral for physical therapy and the use of a TENS device, which causes muscles to flex (and relax) by stimulating them subcutaneously.

The TENS device uses electrodes that attach to your skin on rubbery squares. It can be used while driving, so I have it on during my commutes into and out of Manhattan.

So far the treatment seems to be working, and it also helped that I went back to wearing orthodics in my shoes. I'd been prescribed them years ago but had switched to shoes that they didn't fit into.

If my knee didn't respond to the treatments, I'd be a candidate for arthroscopic surgery, but I don't think that's going to be necessary.

Note: That is not a picture of me.

* According to some website, my illness is... (pronounced KON-dro-mah-LAY-she-ah), also called chondromalacia patellae, refers to softening of the articular cartilage of the kneecap. This disorder occurs most often in young adults and can be caused by injury, overuse, misalignment of the patella, or muscle weakness. Instead of gliding smoothly across the lower end of the thigh bone, the kneecap rubs against it, thereby roughening the cartilage underneath the kneecap. The damage may range from a slightly abnormal surface of the cartilage to a surface that has been worn away to the bone. Chondromalacia related to injury occurs when a blow to the kneecap tears off either a small piece of cartilage or a large fragment containing a piece of bone (osteochondral fracture).

Tennis Elbow from Unicycling

2008-09-12T22:59:00.000-04:00

It was bad enough to get tendinitis in my left ankle/shin from the Lobster. That went away after a few weeks. Then I started feeling tingling and getting occasional numbness in my left arm, esp'ly around my elbow. The doctor's verdict: Tennis Elbow.

Am I the only person ever to get tennis elbow from unicycling?

Apparently this came about from my use of the Wyganofsky extension on my guni. I happen to find the extension comfortable and indispensable, but from riding for a total of about 15 hours in 5 days, I guess I put a lot of strain on that left elbow, not to mention the riding that went into the training ahead of time. The 85% century that I rode this past Sunday didn't help much either.

So I'm supposed to wear a sling and take anti-inflammatories (super-ibu) until it goes away on its own. And I'm not supposed to unicycle. Well, at least not with the extension. Bummer for me.

85 Miles in a Day (or: I Rode Most of the Century)

2008-09-07T23:02:00.000-04:00

Unicycling to Manhattan

I rode my unicycle 85 miles yesterday as part of the NYC Century Ride of 2008. That's longer than the ride from New Paltz to Manhattan (a ride I've contemplated recently). So while I didn't actually ride from one city to the other, I could have!

I set out with five other riders, 3 of whom I'd met during the recent Ride the Lobster race in Nova Scotia. Of the six of us, only my friend Roland and I were on geared 29s, and we rode together for most of the day. One rider joined us later due to car troubles.

Start
The other 5 of us took off a few minutes earlier than the training wheel crowd, but they quickly passed us when I took everyone 5 blocks out of the way by accident (I possess a wonderful sense of misdirection). Eventually we headed down a slightly different route that allowed us a faster, smoother (and longer) ride towards the Brooklyn Bridge. We stayed together until the first rest stop (at mile 14) after which Roland and I zipped off with the goal of 100 miles; the others had to contend with choosing 55 or 75-mile options due to the time constraints.

Going for the hundred
Roland and I had a great time. The route took us around all of Brooklyn, which had a pretty flat route, and thence around Queens, which never seemed to end. In fact, the break between rest stops is surprisingly large at that point, going from mile 42 to 71 without any peanut butter or bananas. We took our own breaks frequently, partly to rest my groin or Roland's legs.

Pain and breaks
It was odd how each of us suffered differently, especially since I was not expecting any troubles after having such a relatively pain-free Lobster. But the rest stops made a huge difference, and by mile 71, we'd made great time and were looking at finishing by 5pm (that is, in 11 hours, total). This was not to be.

More pain: a massive UPD for me and wet pants
A few miles later, as we finally arrived in the Bronx, it was time for me to upshift yet again. I was just ruminating over how many times I'd successfully shifted up to that point -- 50? 100? -- when suddenly the gear didn't catch and I fell over backwards like a bowling pin. Happily I was wearing a helmet, wrist guards, and even a fanny pack hydration system. All of these were essential in my coming out of the fall with nothing more than two tiny scratches on my elbows. But in falling, I smashed my helmet on the ground. I wasn't dazed, but it was certainly the hardest I've hit my head (out of three times total). But as I lay there realizing that I was ok, I wondered why my pants were wet: my hydration pack had ruptured. Having checked that my body was unhurt, I next checked my 2nd-most valuable possession at the time, but luckily my iPhone was ok. Phew!

Gun shy and sore
At this point, I had ridden about 78 miles. There was still time to complete the 100, but I was nervous that my head or neck might have some latent injury and that I had no water for the remainder of the ride, tho I could always buy liquid, so that wasn't a big issue. The real issue, however, was my bum. I was really sore at this point, and I worried that I'd only be making things worse if I rode for 3 more hours. I decided to quit the ride a bit early and headed to the race's endpoint while Roland rode on thru the hilly Bronx. He ended up finishing the ride (about 105 miles) in just over 12 hours. Then he threw up. It turns out that his stomach had knotted up, so to speak, and that he wasn't able to get any food down. Maybe he was dehydrated, but by the next morning he was fine.

Rosy cheeks
When I got to my mom's an hour later for a shower, I took a look at my bottom. It looked like one of those cartoon Santa faces from the 1960s with really red cheeks, only in my case, the cheeks were a bit closer to the, uh, nose.
The shower was painful and the drive home (80 miles, or just about the same distance it took me 10 hours to ride) was a bit uncomfortable.

The good news
Well, I was happy that my ride didn't tire my legs or make any other muscles sore and that I was able to ride nearly 85 miles after having only ridden about 25 in the two months since the Lobster race. It's too bad about my toosh and about that nasty fall, but it was still a great day.

"New Paltz resident loves to race unicycles"

2008-07-13T20:37:00.003-04:00

I was featured in the Poughkeepsie Journal's Sunday Sports section today. Nancy Haggerty, who had written about me two years ago when I presented a uni demonstration at the Mohonk Preserve, interviewed me for an hour and followed up with a bunch of email Qs.

Here is the article:

Think unicycle and image 1 might be a clown or street performer teetering side to side at all of a mile or two per hour.

But now think 500 miles of unicycle racing, often at 20-plus mph, of riding roads that not only go up and down hills but also mountains.

Think Ride the Lobster, the recent 35-team relay held in Nova Scotia.

The June 16-20 race, officially 800 kilometers or 497.1 miles, included four days of 35-rider mass-start, roughly 120-mile road racing and one day of time trials and criterium.

It also included riders from as far away as Korea, Germany, Denmark Singapore, Britain, New Zealand and Australia.

By comparison, David Stone was a local.

The 41-year-old New Paltz resident teamed with John Foss, 46, of California and Dave White, 52, of Ohio on The Centurions. The name represents the fact the three, who met through unicycle conventions, have among them 101 years of unicycling experience, Stone the least at 28.

Stone, president/founder of the Manhattan-based New York Unicycle Club, had done long unicycle rides, including a New York City century in which he logged 102 miles in one day. But his longest previous races were only 10Ks.

"I treated this racing as if I had to do about six to eight of those each day for four days," he said.

Stone, who works in Manhattan as a private tutor, trained for two months, logging 13 to 25 miles a day, sometimes in Central Park, but most often on the rail trail out of New Paltz.

Going in, his team's goal was a top-10 finish and that's exactly what it got, finishing 10th in 40 hours, 27 minutes, 34 seconds. That was four-plus hours behind the winning German team and more than 19 hours ahead of the last-place team. But 10th was a battle, with the 11th-place squad finishing just seven minutes back.

"When I rode, I always thought, 'Never let up.' I didn't want to give up even a second to another team... I rode like gangbusters the whole way," said Stone, whose motto was "None shall pass" and who noted, "It was very rare when someone did."

ENJOYS SPEED ASPECT

Stone, a former high school runner who explained, "Speed is what I always had as a weapon in any sport," logged 87 of the final day's 180 kilometers, cycling mostly flats and downhills, his strengths.

He rode one three-mile, paved mountain downhill at 19 mph.

"On a unicycle that's way too fast to fall off," he remarked.

But while one opponent broke a leg crossing train tracks, even on gravel, Stone's team had no falls. It was on a gravel downhill, that the gravel-loving Stone hit 22.5 mph, his top race speed.

"That was just amazing," Stone said, adding, "I see gravel and it's almost like I get hungry."

Foss' wife, Jacquie, drove the team's support van routinely six or more miles ahead of the team's current rider. Then, at the van, a GPS tracking baton was passed to the next rider, who'd already be pedaling.

Stone, who owns 30 unicycles, rode a 29-inch, wheel-geared unicycle throughout the race. Other racers rode geared and ungeared unicycles of various sizes. The winning Germans, who took home a $4,000 prize (The Centurions split $125 for 10th place) used a more difficult to handle but very fast 36-inch, wheel-geared unicycle.

The race, run through areas that reminded Stone of the Hudson Valley, was designed to boost tourism. Rooms and breakfast and dinner were provided free to participants, who shared information and more with each other.

"Imagine a new golfer coming along and wanting tips on how to avoid a slice and he started chatting up Tiger Woods. It's never going to happen. ... The nice thing about the sport is it's in its youth. We're still so innocent," said Stone, who noted his and others teams loaned unicycles to competitors and one team actually built one for another team.

The camaraderie extended to fans. Schoolchildren lined parts of the route and gave teams care packages.

"... As a tutor, former teacher and father, the kids were the best (part of the race)," said Stone.

While his own kids, Fiona, 12, a five-year rider; Emmett, 8, a two-year rider; and Maeve, 4, were home in school and his wife, Shirra, was running her New Paltz shop, Knit and Be Happy, the GPS baton allowed them to follow The Centurions' progress online.

This was the first ever Ride the Lobster and if Nova Scotia hosts it again, Stone plans to be there.

He also dreams of someday unicycling cross-country with his brother, John, who has unicycled across the Alps, the Pyrenees and Norway.

More immediately, though, Stone plans to do a New York century ride on Sept. 7. And he's also talking about teaming with John and Emmett in a race.

The name of that team? The Rolling Stones.

Back from the Lobster!

2008-06-24T20:31:00.005-04:00

I'm back, and almost fully recovered, from the Lobster, the 5-day race across Nova Scotia.

The TEAM
My team, the Centurions, was made up of three riders with over 100 years of unicycling experience. As the youngest of the group, at 41, I rated only 28 years of riding (ok, 27 if you subtract that year when I neglected to bring my uni to Australia -- what a mistake!). John Foss, 46, is the past prez of the Unicycling Society of America and owner of dozens of unicycles. He has been riding since about 1976, tho there were a few years in the beginning when he didn't devote most of his waking moments to one-wheeling it. Dave White, at 52, is the grandpa among the three of us (literally -- his son's wife is expecting her first child). He's been riding since 1966, several months before I was born. But it's not like we were old geezers participating in a youngun's race. All three of us have won countless medals at unicycle conventions including a bunch of them for 10K marathons.

We had never ridden together as a team until the race actually started. In fact, our idea for the team came together on the last evening of last summer's NAUCC. We communicated a bit by phone and wrote a volley of emails from March till June, and that was the best we could do. John, from Sacramento, had slightly better weather to play with, but Dave and I had to wait for some snow to melt before we could really begin training. I did try uni'ing in place, but that idea didn't really take hold after I nearly smashed the window behind the treadmill; shortly after that attempt, the weather improved enough for training so I didn't give it another thought.

SUPPORT
John's wife, Jacquie, generously volunteered to drive our support minivan for the trip. She has almost no unicycling experience, but she was invaluable in helping us stay well-fed and hydrated. She also assisted with driving, but perhaps most importantly, she served as look-out when we were about to swap riders. Her platinum blond hair was visible for miles and was a welcoming beacon to any tired rider on our team.

The UNICYCLES
I mainly trained on my 29" Schlumpf guni. Dave actually has two of them. John tried out various unis before deciding to bring an ungeared Coker. He didn't feel that he was ready to ride the geared 36" uni that he'd been trying out, but I would have loved a chance to try one out. How did I let the whole Lobster go by without even trying someone's geared 36?

TRAINING
I made time to ride at least 13 miles a day or to attack a very tall mountain road. There is nothing special about 13 miles -- that's just how far it was round-trip to the end of my rail trail and back to my daughter's pre-school. I would gladly have taken longer rides, but the all-gravel trail oddly ended in the middle of a bridge. I'd often add to the milage by taking a diversion along a paved road with few cars. This pretty trail ran alongside a river and afforded me the opportunity to ride about 16 mph (25-26 kph) on a flat path. I also worked out on the bike path in New York's Central Park, a loop of almost exactly 10 kilometers which I would usually circle two or three times. On several occasions I rode up a local mountain path instead. This ride was, thru sheer accident, an almost exact replica of the uphill section of the Lobster's Mt Kelley, the tremendous spike on our Day-5 contour maps that looked like a shark fin jutting out of a bathtub. As a result of my training, I felt prepared for this last ascent -- in theory. In practice, it was a different matter since this climb came at the end of our final day.

Dave White's training was quite impressive: He rode at least 10 miles a day for about six weeks straight. Occasionally he rode as far as 20 miles in a day. John, meanwhile, put in many hours on several of his unicycles. He mainly worked out on an ungeared Coker but occasionally toyed around with a geared version; in the end, because he was flying from California and didn't want to lug two unis, he took over only the ungeared Coker on which he'd done most of his training.

The FERRY
I made it with no problem from New Paltz to Portland, ME. OK, there was a major accident on the road at one point, but I waited it out by shutting off the car and reading for awhile. The next morning, I boarded the ferry: The CAT, as it's called. It's an amazing boat, featuring several large dining areas, three screening areas for first- (or second-) run movies, and a gambling spot with about three dozen slot machines. I mainly busied myself watching "The Bourne Ultimatum," a surprisingly good flick, tho I considered heading to the kids' section to watch "Ratatouille" and some good cartoons. The ride takes about 4.5 hours and was quite restful.

DAY 0
At about 2pm on Sunday,I arrived at the Yarmouth ferry terminal, virtually the last racer to show up since most people had gotten there at least a day in advance of the registration. My teammates were busy, so I had to schlepp my two unis, a backpack, and two small duffel bags about a half-mile north towards our hotel. I managed this by riding the 29" and pushing the Coker while shouldering the other stuff; it wasn't fun. I registered and discovered that I'd somehow been left off the list for the free jerseys that all the riders and support drivers were getting, but happily, Jacquie's was too small, so she gave hers to me (I'm hoping she gets one soon). Once settled into the hotel room I was sharing with Dave, my team headed out to a nice dinner at a nearby restaurant.

DAY 1 -- Monday

The START
One of the rules of the ride was that there was to be no switching of riders for at least the first 10K of every morning (to prevent supprt-vehicle congestion). We decided to take turns starting each day, and for some reason, I ended up going first. I was excited and nervous, but both of those feelings gave way to pain when the rider in front of me fell down at the start and caused me to trip over him. I came down on my feet, straddling our little pile of unicycles, but I must have landed funny because I managed to smack the tip of my penis on one of the unicycles during the exchange. I immediately hopped back onto my uni and pedaled furiously to catch up to the head of the pack, the pain diminishing with each rider I passed. It was also lovely to see our first bunch of organized onlookers as we passed a local school, where the kids had come outside to watch us ride by and to cheer us on. Seeing people along the route -- especially school-kids -- was one of the best parts of the whole experience for a lot of us.

TRANSITIONS
We figured that we'd each ride about 10K at the start of the first day, but I suggested that I take us at least 15K before the first exchange. That way, we could avoid the crowd while putting a bit of distance between us and some of the other groups. I rode about 20K and was exhausted and thrilled to see my team when it was time for our first transition. We tended to ride 10K (6 mile) stints on the first day. Since we were riding such lengthy distances, we didn't need to make our transitions too tidy (tho we did a good job anyway), but we got the hang of them pretty early on, and by Thursday, we were able to swap out riders every 3 or 4 kilometers if necessary. On at least two occasions, we swapped after just 2K on a huge hill.

WEATHER
We knew that weather would be an issue; the forecast for Nova Scotia showed a lot of moisture, so we were quite pleasantly surprised when it didn't rain on Monday. We actually needed sunscreen that day! Dave had brought along his amazing Garmin GPS that shows up-to-date weather radar, and we could see that a wet patch was heading our way the next day. Sure enough, we were rained on for most of Tuesday and absolutely soaked by torrential rain the first part of Wednesday. Thursday was partly cloudy with spotty rain, and Friday was much like Monday's lovely weather, only with a bit of cloud cover.

END of DAY 1
We rode all-out and were never able to get a sense of where we were within the pack except that it felt like we were among the top teams. when John Foss crossed the finish line for us that day, we were quite pleased to discover that we were in 9th place, with 8-minute gaps on either side of us. That spacing, it only occurred to me now, was equal to about 2 miles, but that explains why we stayed in 9th place after a few problems we had on Tuesday.

I had heard ahead of the race that 16 teams had designated themselves as possible top-10 finishers before the race began. It was great to find that we'd gauged ourselves correctly. I was proud of our team of older men, and I wasn't nearly as sore as I would have expected. Nor were any of us too tired. We had a filling dinner that night where we loaded up with pasta, and Dave and I went to sleep just before midnight in order to get up around 6:30 the next morning. Just before bed, I shave my legs below the knees, as I'd promised I'd do if we finished among the top ten. Guys, if you ever decide to shave your legs, be forewarned: It takes much longer than you'd think!

FAVORITE Moment of Day 1
At one point, we found ourselves racing on a long gravel road. I mentioned that this was just like what I'd trained on in New Paltz (on the rail trail) and that I'd be very comfortable riding quickly on the long downhill stretch. Dave started the uphill part and I relieved him and noticed that Signe, a 17-year-old Danish girl from one of the top teams was not far in front of me. I caught up just as we crested the hill and raced past her as my teammates saw a cloud of dust erupt from under my wheel. Later I noticed that I'd reached 35.6 kph, or just over 22 mph; this would turn out to be the fastest speed I'd reach on the trip and was probably the fastest I'd ever ridden on a unicycle. The fact that it was on dry and uneven gravel made it even more fun. It was a wild ride that felt a lot like waterskiing.

DAY 2 -- Tuesday
We experienced a few technical difficulties during the race, but all of them took place on Tuesday, and luckily none of them cost us too much time. I think that we lost less than 5 minutes over the course of the entire race. Ironically, one of our problems was that we'd lent a unicycle to another team whose members were missing TWO of theirs! One of the lovely things about the uni'ing community is the way we look out for each other.

At one point early in the day, Dave realized that he should try different crank arms in order to increase his speed. Normally this isn't a big deal, but somehow one of the cranks got loose. Amazingly, this happened just as I had switched on one of our walkie-talkies that my brother had lent me for the ride. Dave had brought a set, too. We both reckoned that in the event of an emergency, it would be really handy to get in contact with a teammate in the car. Somehow Dave's crank got loose the one time he'd remembered to bring a walkie-talkie and the one time I'd remembered to turn mine on. Just as luckily, we were behind him a bit at the time, so we quickly drove up to meet him and I grabbed the GPS baton while he and John worked on the crank. They caught up with me later, and then the same thing happened, but with John's crank. Again I rode as they fixed the problem, but I didn't have to go too far before they relieved me.

This day was hillier than the first one, and it was also a bit lengthier. We'd arrived just before 6pm at Monday's finishing point, but it took us almost a whole extra hour to make it to the finish on Tuesday.

FAVORITE Moments of Day 2:
There were some funny moments on the trip, and most of them seemed to have happened on Day 2.
1. Early in the day, before the rain started, John, Jacquie and I were in the support van as Dave rode ahead. We were having a bit of trouble navigating with the GPS, so we looked on the road for the familiar orange arrows, but there weren't any at one intersection. I announced, "I don't see anything orange telling us where to go," and John replied, "I do. I see something orange telling us where to go!" It was Darren Bedford, the Canadian inventor of Flaming Puck (unicycle hockey using a puck that's on fire), wearing an orange shirt and waving us to the right.
2. At another point, while I was driving I noticed a big turtle in the road. I stopped the car and got out, but I was nervous about the turtle because it was so large, and I got more nervous when John mentioned that this might be a snapping turtle. I gave the plate-sized reptile a gentle prod with my foot, and the thing lunged at me (as only a turtle can lunge) and tried to bite before waving an angry foot at me. If turtles could hiss, this one would have done so. Eventually one of the EMT volunteers was able to persuade Yurtle to mosey across the road safely.
3. That night we went to a restaurant where I tried my first lobster (despite going to camp in Maine for 8 years!). I had to take a phone call at one point, and as I headed outside for a moment, I heard one waitress tell another a comment you'd never hear outside of Nova Scotia: "We're running low on the fettucini. Push the lobster!"

It was also great to see so many school kids waving and cheering us on. Some of them yelled, "Where are you from?" to each rider and then cheered loudly when they got a response.

DAY 3: Wednesday at the Races
This was the one day we got to sleep late -- as late as about 7:15. Calgon, take me away!

After the fairly hilly and quite-lengthy Tuesday, our third day was a reprieve. We didn't mind the extra 45 minutes of sleep, and tho the weather threatened (and then delivered) a good deal of rain, we would only be riding in it for 45-50 minutes, so it wasn't too bad.

This was the day of the time trial and the 'criterium.' As in the Tour de France, each rider began the time trial a half-minute behind the rider in front of him. Our placement in the trial was based on our team finish. As my team's fastest rider, I went last among the three of us with only 8 riders behind me (that is, I was the 97th rider). I got off to a good start and quickly passed many riders in my grouping and even a few of the riders who had started much earlier, and I was passed by most of the riders from the faster teams behind me, like Ken Looi, who blew past me on his ungeared 36"er and wound up in 3rd place over all. The rain at some points was pelting down so hard that it was hurting my eyeballs. I managed to finish a very respectable 20th or 21st place (they were seconds apart), covering 21K (about 14 miles) in just under 56 minutes. This time qualified me for the top heat of the criterium in Truro that afternoon. But before that short race, we had to drive nearly two hours to get there.

I wanted to blast straight ahead for Truro, but John was aching with hunger and our clothes and shoes were soaked, so we decided to stop in a town called Bedford for crepes and a visit to a laundromat. The meal was delicieux and tres francais, and the laundromat hit the spot, too! Pressed for time, we had no time to wash our clothes. Opening the drier after three men's shirts and sneakers have spun around in the heat for 40 minutes was perhaps the most unpleasant thing we had to endure for the entire trip.

The rain stopped and we soon found ourselves in Truro, a lovely place with a college-town feel. As was the case thruout the Lobster, there was something about Truro that reminded me a lot of Ulster County. It's a much bigger town than New Paltz, but it had a similar feel to Rhinebeck. We caught up with some of the other teams and wound up having dinner with Team Smile (who would eventually finish in 5th place). This team featured Chuck, perhaps the world's fastest long-distance rider at the moment. Not only had he won the Time Trial, but he would soon finish first in the 4-mile race (6 laps around a few city blocks) that we called the Criterium, netting himself $1000 and another one of Florian Schlumpf's priceless (ok, not priceless -- just 'pricey') geared hubs. Again I did pretty well for a geezer-in-training, finishing among the top 25. My team took a conservative approach to this short race. We knew we had no chance to win, so we made sure to ride safely to ensure that we wouldn't get hurt.

FAVORITE Moments of Day 3:
Certainly those crepes rank right up there, much as the laundry was simply rank. I loved waving to the school kids who had come out to see the start of the time trial.

DAY 4 -- Thursday

Relatively well-rested after Wednesday's relatively light demands, we found ourselves once again waking early and riding in some rain. By now it had become apparent who the eventual winning teams were going to be (German Speeders, followed by NZUNI of New Zealand) as well as which teams were our closest competition for the top ten. At this point, we had to watch for:
* the Hans Islanders team (featuring two Danes, Tomas and Signe, as well as an American) who had leapt ahead of several teams in climbing from 12th to 8th place,
* the Korean Dream team, who had gotten off to a similarly weak start and were making gains on us, and
* Nathan and Beau Hoover, the father-and-son team who were going duo because their third teammate had been barred from entering Halifax airport due to a DUI 9 years earlier.
In addition, Team Manly Legs, Atlas, and The Goonies were further back of us but were within reach if we had any sort of major problems.

The Korean team and the Hoovers were our biggest threats, however, because both appeared to be gaining on us, and because both appeared to have a good deal of stamina. But Nathan Hoover was beginning to feel some pains in one of his Achilles tendons (after all, he was riding about 50% than everyone except his son!), and by the end of the day, their team was still about a quarter hour behind us. The Dream Team, however, started the day about 8 minutes back and ended only 90 seconds behind us. I think that most of their catching-up was on account of The Fangs!

THE FANGS
When we looked over the topographical profile of the day, we saw what appeared to be four upwards-pointing fangs near the end of the ride. Each of these involved a fairly low but quite steep climb, rising about 50 meters in just a few hundred meters, times four! We decided to break up these nasty hills so that no one had to ride more than one in a row, but since these came near the end of the day, we were so exhausted that we began running our transitions every 2-3 kilometers, rather than the usual 6-8 K segments we'd usually ride. I think that two of my rides were just under 2K.

PAPER BAGS
The coolest thing of the day was when we passed thru one of the major transition points where each rider was given a brown paper bag beautifully designed by an elementary schooler. I saved mine, which features a red lobster and many encouraging words from the several children who collaborated on the item. Inside each bag were some treats for us racers, including apple juice and a choco chip cookie! Those cookies really hit the spot after an exhausting day.

TENDINITIS
That night we spent the evening resting in a gorgeous college dorm where students have private shower stalls and wonderful two-person rooms. I took a lengthy shower and tried to massage my sore left anterior (top) tendon, the one right below where you'd tie your left shoe. This tendon was so creaky that you could actually hear it if I raised and lowered my foot. I used the two-I method: ice and ibuprofen, and I also applied a lotion that causes a warm sensation. I was nervous that I wouldn't be of much use to my team for the final day, but I noticed that my ankle felt better as the evening wore on.

DAY 5 -- TGIF!
Our last day was possibly the easiest of the four long days. Not only was the distance a mere 187 kilometers (or about 116 miles), but there was a break built into it on account of a transition that called for each team to drive over a long bridge that was too dangerous for unicycling.

The day started weirdly when I realized -- just after we'd all begun pedaling furiously -- that I'd neglected to gear up. In other words, I was going to have to shift as soon as I could, but (a) there were riders all around me, so I couldn't risk falling and having someone land on me, and (b) I had had no luck shifting for most of the race. The good news was that I did manage to shift as soon as the crowd had thinned out a bit, but by then, the rider for the Korean team had built up a sizable lead. In fact, I never saw him again on that ride -- he'd pulled out too far ahead for me to catch him. I sensed that our hopes of 10th place were dashed.

John took over after my initial ride of 15 K. I was pretty exhausted, but happily my ankle/shin area wasn't too sore or creaky. I massaged the area and applied heat lotion while John and Dave rode, and then I was at it again. This day's profile was rather peculiar: For the most part, it was extremely flat, but near the end was a steep uphill followed immediately by a steep downhill. After that, the ride was flat to the finish. Essentially, the profile looked like a shark fin in a bathtub.

THREE GREAT SEGMENTS
1. Because there were so few nasty uphills, I could ride longer stretches without hurting my foot or getting too tired, and as it turned out, I ended up riding about 87 of the 187 kilometers that day. There was also a gravel stretch, and since I love gravel flats and downhills, I was put on the uni for a lengthy stretch of it. As it happened, we had been closing in on the Korean Dream Team, and as I took the baton from Dave, I noticed that the same man who had bested me at the start of that day's riding was now just a few hundred meters ahead of me. He was riding an ungeared Coker with short cranks. This uni gave him an advantage only on the inclines. Any downhills or flats would be chances for me to catch up. Just as I crested one little hill, I saw him fall off his uni not more than 2 city-blocks ahead of me. He still had me by a decent margin, but in his haste to remount, he fell off again. By this time, I zoomed past him, but I expected to see him in my helmet mirror soon. Instead, I never saw his team -- neither the riders nor the support vehicle -- for the rest of the day. In fact, now that I think about it, I never saw them again even after the race, which was too bad because I wanted to congratulate them on doing such a good job.

2. The shark fin was called Mt Kelly, and it involved a climb of 250 meters over 2 kilometers followed by a 3 kilometer descent back to sea level. The three of us took turns riding up the mountain, which found us uni'ing alongside drivers on a wide highway, and then I took over for the lengthy downhill. I managed to keep up a pace of 30.0 kph, or just under 19 mph, for the entire duration of the descent, and I even managed to pass a rider on the way down. I've never ridden that fast for so long, and tho I did hit a top speed of 35 kph, I never outshone my speed on the gravel downhill. Still, it was incredible to feel the speed of that mountain for such a long ride.

3. I was also fortunate enough to ride the very last segment as the team came into a small town. The last of the highway riding came with a stiff back-wind, giving me the feeling that I was somehow stronger by day's end, and the ride into town was mostly downhill and straight, allowing me to maintain an almost scary pace as I headed across the finish line.

Much later we found out that the Korean team somehow lost 21 minutes on us, finishing 12th over all. We'd managed to hold on to 10th place by just 8 minutes over Beau and Nathan. Whew! And it would only be 10 days before I could ride a unicycle again without pain.

Coming Soon: Ride the Lobster!

2008-06-08T21:57:00.005-04:00

I have been training for the past few months for next week's 500-mile Tour de Nova Scotia, the first ever "Ride the Lobster." Each team of racers consists of 3 riders who take turns, tag-team style, riding about 120 miles a day, swapping riders whenever fatigue or injury dictates. My team consists of the three riders with the most years of unicycling, a combined 100. I suggested the team name, Centurions, based on that fact, and it stuck.

For the most part, our riding will consist of flat, paved roads. I've been training mainly on the gravel-and-dirt 'rail trail' that runs thru New Paltz and all over this county. My daily rides are generally 13-20 miles, riding as fast as I can on my geared unicycle (in high gear), and I would say that I've gotten to the point where I can maintain an average speed of 14 mph for the rail trail. Lately I've also taken a diversion onto a local paved road (Springtown) that leads to a nearby town or two. The lightly-trafficked road allows me to reach average speeds over 15 mph. Today I also hit my greatest speed, albeit momentarily: 22 mph. Occasionally I'll also ride around the Central Park bike loop; it's 6 miles around, including a monstrous hill, or 5 miles if you skip the nasty part. In all, I've pedaled around long enough to see a significant increase in my leg muscles and my stamina (as well as in my ability to withstand lengthy rides without saddle soreness or other discomforts).

Unicycling with My Son

2008-03-04T11:13:00.004-05:00

One of the few things I miss about NYC is that I could ride around town doing errands, and what makes this even worse is that I could be riding around town with my kids. Emmett has been riding for over a year, and Fiona learned nearly four years ago, and when we lived in Brooklyn, we often rode around in Manhattan when we'd visit for the weekend. Nowadays, it's quite rare for me to have a unicycling day in The City with the kids. I ride there by myself nearly everyday, but it takes a special occasion for me to ride with one of them.

Happily, a few days ago was a uniclub Sunday, and as we've done for a few months, we made a sleepover out of it. I drove down with Emmett and Maeve on Saturday (Fiona was having an overnight with a friend in the Noop; Shirra stayed home to woman the store). That day, we parked 5 blocks, or just over a quarter mile, from my mom's place, and then Emmett and I rode our unis to my mom's place, me pushing Maeve in the stroller. We had arrived with just enough time to drop off our stuff before heading to the Danny Kaye Theater on 68th St and Lex -- about 1.5 miles from Mom's. On his 20" wheel uni, that's quite a ride, and he was doing his best to pedal fast, so I was really impressed that he only had a couple UPDs. The ride back was even more fun, since we weren't in a rush, and again we rode thru Central Park with me pointing out different landmarks.

The next day was uni club, and I was excited because Shirra's mom had volunteered to take Maeve for the afternoon (lunch and the Children's Museum). Unforch, this plan fell thru when Maeve panicked upon seeing her grandparents. She decided she wanted to spend the day with me instead. I coaxed her into going to the lunch, and that meant that Emmett and I had to ride from 75th and Amsterdam, where we'd met up with Shirra's folks, to 87th St, where the favored diner is. They didn't get into said diner, but luckily there were tables at the one next door. Unluckily, Maeve was still pining for me, so before Emmett and I had made it back to 75th St (for some shopping), we had to head back to retrieve Maeve. Then we went to unicycle club. In the end, we rode about 8 miles over the weekend. Emmett confided that he was experiencing a little pain -- the kind that girls don't get, he said -- and I acknowledged that this happens to every guy who rides enough. [Some seats are better than others, but still -- it's hard to avoid some of that. Apparently our bodies weren't meant to cycle.]

Anyone who can ride as many miles as his age -- on a 20" uni no less -- is impressive in my book. Go Emmett!

100th Post! Treadmill Unicycling

2007-12-19T08:40:00.000-05:00

I finally tried riding a unicycle on my treadmill. It wasn't a bad experience.

Last year, I bought my wife a 2nd-hand treadmill, a super model with bells and whistles, the kind you see in a fancy gym. It hasn't gotten much use lately, but that will change.

I figured out that mounting on this treadmill is easy. You get on the uni, then activate the machine, and it slowly gets up to your desired speed. Trying to mount while the machine is running wouldn't be a good idea, tho I succeeded at 1 mph.

Once on, you can speed it up or slow it down pretty easily, but this requires removing a hand from the sides of the treadmill. I found that I could ride hands-free, but it's not necessarily the safest or smartest idea. I have a deep-seated fear that the belt is going to jam, so I don't really want to let go of the sides. There are other possible slip-ups, so for now, I'll prolly hold on most of the time.

I used my 24" muni with a Gaz tire (it rides like a low-psi 26"). It has 6" cranks. 10 mph seemed a bit speedy but not difficult to maintain. I'm thinking that a 26" skinny tire Semcycle with 110s would approximate the feel of a Coker in terms of cadence. Maintaining 10mph would be like somewhat like maintaining 15 mph on a Coker. [In fact, a Coker would be easier to maintain that cadence on due to flywheel effect.]

I tried changing the grade, taking it as high as 10%. Sure enough, grade made a difference in the riding, but it was still fairly easy to ride the uni safely. I needed the handrails a bit more, tho, so changing grade was trickier.

My wife warned me (somewhat jokingly) not to smash the window that is a few feet behind the treadmill. In fact, a few minutes later, I twisted around to check something and lost my balance. The uni shot out behind me and nearly broke the window. Oops. This kind of accident, however, would easily be avoided by simply not twisting around awkwardly. I don't foresee that being an issue.

In sum, the treadmill seems a surprisingly good way to stay in shape and to get in some long 'rides' on a unicycle during bad weather.

Scary Guni Gear Incident

2007-10-24T21:32:00.000-04:00

If you don't already know by now, I have one of the few change-on-the-fly geared unicycles in the world. There are only a handful on the East Coast, a bushelful in the whole US, and fewer than a bowl-of-riceful in the entire world*. They were created by Florian Schlumpf, a Swiss engineer, using a planetary gearing system similar to what's found in a motorcycle. Basically there is a small 'sun' gear surrounded by a dozen 'planet' gears that are activated or deactivated by having a piece click into or out of place. Shifting gears is accomplished by knocking a button with your ankle or sneaker while you're riding, tho less adventurous or skilled types can simply hop off the uni to change the gear from a safer position.

Florian is currently on his third gearing system. His first hub had 6 planet gears, which meant that sometimes the wheel rotated freely for 60 degrees before the gear shifted. Since the 29" wheel moves about 10 feet per revolution, a rider could easily find himself coasting for about two feet before the gear's teeth were reactivated. As disconcerting as this was, the first-generation hub had a bad habit of not always catching gear or, worse, slipping out of gear and into coasting mode. This resulted in one really badly broken leg for a well-known Kiwi rider named Ken Looi during a group trip thru Laos that he had organzied. It also happened to me, tho happily I was not injured in the resulting fall. Then it happened a few more times. In the end, Florian was generous enough to replace every 1st-gen hub he'd sold with his newer, 12-planet version.

I was riding to Port Authority three weeks ago when I attempted to shift into low gear as I neared the depot. Suddenly, I slipped forward from the waist down and landed on my backpack, with my helmet basically kissing the pavement too softly to make even a scratch. I was wearing wrist-guards, too, but I didn't have time to react and simply landed with my hands by my side. The funny thing was that this came a day after my doctor had suggested I take it easy on my back since I'd strained a muscle during firefighting duties. Ah well.

I didn't contact Florian about the gear; instead I wrote about the incident to the online uni community. Ken and others suggested that I had experienced a non-catch of a gear rather than a gear-slipping (which is what happened to Ken). The consensus was that I had hit the button just hard enough to put it in no-man's land. After further discussion, we all seemed to arrive at a name for this deadly location: the sour spot.

Since then, it took me a few days (ok, weeks) to recover the gumption to try that down-shifting again. It's been fine ever since, but if I fail to hit the button hard enough to shift gears, I immediately jump off just in case.

* Rice is a great food if you want to eat 2,000 of something -- Mitch Hedberg

Nose News

2007-09-18T15:14:00.000-04:00

My nose healed well, and within a week, I was breathing thru both nostrils. The healing process has been a bit odd, tho.

The doctor warned me last week that I'd have a runny nose and a lot of congestion, and he was right. He failed to mention that the scabs forming in my nose during the night would feel as tho I had somehow inhaled a Lego piece in my sleep. On a hunch, I decided to work some of these crusty things out, a process that was both captivating and painful. The resulting stalagtites were the sort of thing best enjoyed in privacy: no one in my family wanted to see the extracted item. It was yet another time in my life that I longed for an identical twin. ("Look what came out of my nose!" "Cool!") Later the doctor confirmed that scabs are like crystals in that they can grow unabated; I can only imagine how large these minerals could have been had I left them alone.

Weirder still was something that I succeeded in pulling out two days ago after many minutes of coaxing. This globular mass resembled nothing human. If you've seen The Matrix, you might recall the bug that Trinity removes from Neo's bellybutton; that's pretty much what I had, only mine was no longer glowing. I removed the mass from my nose and put it out of its misery with a swift blow to what I took to be its head. Suddenly I could breathe! Once again I didn't find any immediate interest from the wife and kids -- apparently they were content to use their imaginations. I had to console myself that at least the aliens would no longer be able to track me with the device they'd implanted in my head.

I saw the doctor again today. This visit ranked right up there on the list of the most pain I've experienced in a seated position. Initially everything went smoothly, as he calmly peered into my nostrils and pronounced them satisfactory. I mentioned my alien visitors and he nodded, acknowledging that these demonstrate that I had not fully healed. As a precaution, he peered and poked deeply into my sinus with a long thin tube that tripped nerves normally protected from such probing. He worked out a few small remnants of the earlier tracking device -- apparently I had missed some of its legs and part of its abdomen -- and then, to my relief, he removed a second implant that had been lodged even further down. The removal of this second locust allowed even smoother breathing, but it came at a cost. My face was hurting in places he hadn't even visited, like my eyeballs. Eventually the pain subsided, but so did my effortless breathing. Once again my nose is slightly stuffed. It seems that the implantation process can take place even when the mother ship is nowhere in sight.

I'll have to rely on my menthol cough drops for a few more days.

How My Nose Felt

2007-09-12T15:51:00.001-04:00

This photo from Total Recall, with Arnold, illustrates how my nose felt when the doctor removed my dressing. The gauze, plus this inflatable plastic bladder, extended pretty deep into my schnozz, but when they came out, I felt a delicious sense of relief, similar, I'm sure, to what Arnold's character felt when he removed the Martian 'bug' from his honker in this sci-fi thriller from the 1980s.

Viated Septum

2007-09-11T21:02:00.000-04:00

For as long as I remember, I've had a deviated septum. But today I had that surgically repaired. At long last, mine is once again a viated septum.

As tortured as that term sounds, that's as tortured as I felt when the anesthesia wore off. One would think that the worst pain was in my nose and generall sinus area, but one would be wrong. Instead, my throat was the source of agony. My nose merely ached a bit. My first thought as I came back to consciousness was, "I hope I've just had a dream about how bad I could feel if I go thru with this, because I'm going to tell them that I've changed my mind." Needless to say, it was too late.

My next thought was about that unfortunate pro football player who likely will never regain complete use of his limbs as a result of an accident a couple days ago. That guy must have been thru a lot more surgery than I'll ever endure. My third thought was that my wife survived thru 3 nasty deliveries, the last a planned C-section. Maybe I could toughen up a bit. My choices were: complain or refrain. I went with 'refrain.' It's not like I could have whined about my plight anyway, since I could barely speak.

Your throat hurts after nasal surgery for the specific and obvious-later reason that in order to operate on your nose, the doctor has to intubate you. 'Intubate' comes from the Latin "in-," meaning "in," and "tuba," meaning "feels like a tuba has been pushed." Actually my throat feels as tho I swallowed some sand paper and then threw it back up. And then swallowed it just once more. And the worst part of this whole experience is that, at least until my nose gets unpacked by the doctor tomorrow, I have to breathe thru my mouth, compounding the problem. Ice cream and icies help, as do cough drops, but only so far.

I was lucky enough to have a wonderful friend take me to and from the hospital. Diane is my kids' great-godmother, if there could be such a thing. Her title is somewhat odd since no one in my family has believed in a god for many generations, but if there were a god, then there could be saints, and Diane would qualify in my book. She made sure I got home okay and then explained the redressing of my bandages to Shirra. In case it wasn't already painfully obvious, I couldn't have driven myself home if not for the pain but also the pain meds. Shirra has been a saint since I got home, and the kids were great. Eventually my second batch of meds kicked in and I was ready for dinner, an online game of Scrabble, some TV, and this blogging. The pain is coming back, so I just took my codeine dose #3, and I'll have to hit the sheets soon.

So why is my formerly-deviant* septum fodder for my blog about unicycling? I only had this operation in order to have an easier time with my breathing during exercise, and my only exercise is unicycling. I race every summer at the annual unicycling Olympics, and I'm going to be riding over 120 miles in 5 days during a big race in 2008. I had begun to notice that it was possible for other people to nose-breathe during races but not for me. It was also impossible for me to sleep on my back, since I would probably attract the turkeys that always roam about our garden, but as I slept on my side since college, this was really not the issue. It really came down to unicycling.

I nearly started the 2nd sentence in that last paragraph with the word "Because." Clearly the codeine has taken effect. I'd better head to bed soon.

* Shirra's joke

1st Annual Yonkers Race

2007-09-08T21:59:00.000-04:00

Today was a first for me: a unicycle race with a cash prize.

Organized by the friend of one of our club members, the race was meant to draw some needed attention to the beautified (and beautiful) downtown area of Yonkers. A guy named John contacted me to ask if I could summon as many unicyclists as possible to participate in the race. I was skeptical -- it's one thing to get people to meet at Grant's Tomb, but Yonkers is a bit out of the way, and the time (10 am) didn't help either. We managed to get there -- in my case, this involved an extra hour's drive to avoid the Tappan Zee bridge only to run into a delay at the GWB -- and by 11 am, the races were over, prizes distributed, and photos taken. Again I hit traffic getting home, but I did manage to get Emmett to his inaugural soccer game in time.

The race was meant to be similar in length to a 10K, about 6.2 miles. John measured the track and found it to be just over three-quarters of a mile. We decided to make the race 2 laps for kids (under-14s) and 6 laps for the rest of us. We ran the kids' race first in order to lessen the chances of a collision since the track was fairly narrow at points. Emmett did fine, winning $20 while riding for the first time on his new 20" uni -- I accompanied him thruout the ride -- and Fiona did well enough to come in 2nd of 5 girls, good for a $40 prize. Because the route wound thru a garden at one point and had a few other twists, my speedy guni was a poor match for the conditions, but I'm not sure I could have done as well as my brother -- he finished first by a wide marge. He and I discussed later how the kid in charge of the laps seems to have made a mistake that caused all of us to ride one less time around, so in the end it appears that my brother's winning time of 16 minutes was for a course a bit less than 4 miles long. He came away with a $50 cash prize and a $75 gift certif for a restaurant nearby.

I was happy that we got so many riders, mostly from our club...twenty in all. We all got medallions, courtesy of the organizer, and more than half of the participants (including all of the kids) got cash prizes from a fund of over $400. The day was gorgeous, too. The only thing I was disappointed by was the almost non-existent public turnout, including a lack of press coverage. Ah well...next time.

The Smallest Uni in the East

2007-08-05T01:35:00.000-04:00

Here is Maeve modeling her new unicycle. To be precise, it's an old uni that's been altered to fit her wee gams. I had Mike the Bike cut down both the frame and the seat post. Unfortunately, due to a sleeve in the frame, the post can't slide down to just above the wheel (as is the case with most unicycles), so at this point, the uni only has one size; in order to raise it, I'll have to cut down other seat posts that are fractionally bigger (as Maeve grows up).

For the time being, it's definitely the smallest unicycle on the East Coast. In fact, you can't make a much smaller unicycle without contacting the Guiness Book of World Records.

Maeve can't ride it yet, but she's looking forward to doing so -- soon. Tomorrow my unicycle club meets again, and Maeve can't wait. Helping Maeve means that I have to lean over to hold her seat from behind, but a bad back is worth it if she's having fun.

NAUCC 007

2007-08-03T23:00:00.000-04:00

We just drove back yesterday from Michigan, the site of this year's North American unicycle convention. It was one of the best ones I've been to.

We had to arrive a day after the fun events started on account of my stint at the fire academy. I finished up on a Friday afternoon, drove back that evening, and packed the car full of unicycles. The next day, we headed to Michigan.

O CANADA
Shirra had checked the route on randmcnally.com, but the GPS in the car had us going north rather than south. Geography isn't my strong suit, and Shirra, a great map-reader, drew a blank when I mentioned that we'd be heading up route 87 rather than down. After all, the GPS hasn't steered us wrong so far. Looking at the map on the small screen, I wondered what the blip of land was between upstate NY and Michigan. It turns out that this was Canada.

I remembered that our government had been talking about the use of passports between the USA and Canada, but I wasn't sure when that was supposed to kick in. Luckily we only needed our driver's licenses, especially since the kids look just like us (we didn't happen to have their birth certs with us). The delay for immigration took a lot less time that the Rand McNally route, saving us many hours. The drive thru Canada was pretty dull, tho.

BEST (?) WESTERN
We stayed at a cheap hotel that had many rooms saved for conventioneers. At $59/night, it would be hard to do better. The hotel had once been pretty nice, but by now, it was falling slowly into decrepitude. Our air conditioning didn't work, first in one room, and then in both. The breakfasts were as abysmal as they are in most motels, with styrofoam cups for juice and crappy cereal options (along with some pretty tasty muffins). Rungs were breaking on the pool ladders, and one of the doorknobs from the stairs to the lobby was lying on the floor by the door. A cigaret butt lay in the same position on the stairs for the 5 days we stayed at the hotel.

But I really can't complain about the hotel. After all, it was cheap, and there were two pools, a free (and almost edible) breakfast, decent TVs, and so on. The kids loved playing Marco Polo with their friends in the pool, and on the last night, we joined a party downstairs that the beneficent Darren Bedford (of Canada) threw for his friends on both sides of the border. His suite had a jacuzzi, a kitchenette, an empty library, and three rooms.

RELLIES
Our first full day in Michigan, we took a few hours to visit Shirra's cousins in a nearby suburb of Detroit. The kids had a great time, and then we headed back to the convention in time for the Public Show.

PUBLIC SHOW
Every year, these shows combine a few performances from the expert riders in the artistic competition as well as some outside talent. This year, the hosts had a duo from the world of Frisbees and Hacky Sacks (or 'discs' and 'footbags' to the trademark-less society of those sports). They were outstanding, and if you haven't seen someone excel in the world of footbags, you haven't seen the mundane elevated to the superior. At the end of the show, I hosted the annual raffle, where Darren won a nice unicycle and my son won some juggling sacks.

TRACK
The next two days were dominated by track and field. Because we span so many age groups, my family had to be at the track for most of the day, starting at 8am, with no ostensible break for lunch. Shirra hadn't had breakfast and soon found herself getting woozy. I happened to find a snack place nearby, and soon she and the kids were back to normal.

The third race of the day was Emmett's. Since he hadn't mastered riding a 20" wheel, he was relegated to his 16-incher for the whole competition. This meant that he had to pedal really fast just to keep up with the slower kids in the races. He managed to beat one kid in the half-mile, and later he did pretty well in the quarter-mile and the 100m races. When he gets the right-sized uni, he's going to be zooming! Fiona isn't a racer -- she likes to ride, but she doesn't seem to have the fast-twitch muscles that racers need. She was proud that she managed to finish all of her races, and she even beat someone's time in the obstacle course. As for me, I found the track (or the hot, muggy conditions) to be slow; no one managed to set any kinds of racing records at this convention. But I managed to do well compared with my competition and finished first in most of the races in my age group (1500m, 400m, and the 10k). I also found myself among the top 5 male competitors of any age in four races (my best was 3rd over all in the 10k), earning myself an 'expert' t-shirt for the third year in a row. My only disappointment was not qualifying for the expert heat of the 100m race. I was proudest of my finish in the 10k because the competition was tough and I beat a lot of younger guys over the course of 25 grueling minutes.

WATER PARK
The 10k was just around the corner from a great water park. It's a city park, so the admission price was really cheap (at least by NY standards). For $8 each, the kids and Shirra got to have a great afternoon of water slides, a 'lazy river,' and a scary wave pool.

MISC
There were muni events, a street competition, and uphill and downhill 'races,' too. There were also the usual unicycle hockey and uni basketball, but I didn't compete (or even watch) any of those. I didn't even get to see most of the artistic competition (or the parade competition, or the group performance competition), but I'm sure it was amazing.

The drive back from Michigan was fine, and we got in yesterday at about 11 pm. I was buzzing for almost an hour after getting out of the car; it felt like I was sitting on a clothes dryer. We were glad to be home, but it was a great convention, and we look forward to the club this Sunday.

NAUCC 2007

2007-07-30T23:29:00.000-04:00

This year, the annual North American uni convention is being held (as we speak) in Michigan. Michigan, as we all remember from looking over maps found on the flip side of the children's menu at cheap roadside diners, is the state that's really two land masses cut by a big river. So now, when locals ask "Where's your other wheel," I can retort, "Hey, where's the other half of your state?" Ha. Take that. Yeah.

O Canada
Shirra looked up a good route using randmcnally.com, but our car's GPS took us a different (and faster) way. Luckily we didn't need our passports because before we knew what was going on, we were in Canada. Oops, eh!?

Public Show
Thankfully, the convention is going a lot better than my joke-telling. We got here late, thanks to my trip to the Fire Academy in central NY that ended a few days ago, but we didn't miss much of what we like at these conventions. We missed the artistic competition (in favor of a trip to Shirra's cousins an hour away), but we saw some of it later during the public show. Ryan Woessner and Amy Shields were absolutely flawless and amazing in their pairs routine, and Amy recreated her unbelievable (and flawless) solo routine that made her the American champion this year. There was also a juggling act, a pair of frisbee whizzes (one of whom is also an incredible foot-bag (Hacky Sack) artist, and a great visit from Sem and Teresa Abrams; Sem's finale had him riding around the gym on a 14' giraffe while pretending to lose his balance. I've seen many public shows, and this was one of the best over the past 7 years.

A Day (or Two) at the Races
Today was the first of two race days. The weather was nigh perfect (a bit too hot), and the track is in pretty decent shape. The volunteers assisting with the events did a great job, and thanks to them and the weather, we were done nearly 3 hours ahead of schedule, finishing the 1500m and 400m races and leaving the 100m and 'weird' races for tomorrow. Emmett managed to finish the 800m (kids under 9 ride a shorter race than the 1500m), so he automatically gets a medal since he was one of only 4 in his age category. He actually placed 3rd but forgot to ride past the finish line, so he had to remount and finish the race properly. Fiona finished her first 1500m and also rode a 400m race, both without falling off, but she's not a fast rider yet, so she came in last both times. I was proud of her for finishing and for keeping up her spirits. Her friend Emmy did so well in the 400 that she qualified for the expert heat, where she did even better, earning an 'Expert' tee shirt. Other club members did ok, too. As for me, I managed to eke out Expert tee shirts in both events, but my times were a bit off from last year. The nice thing for me was finishing ahead of so many fast kids. I noticed that after the races, I was the only one panting like a dog -- the young'uns all shrugged off their races and headed for their cars in time for a parade competition that I didn't care for.

Misc
I ran into Brian Mackenzie, and he gave me a great DVD he made last year; some of the footage featured some of our club members, and there were a couple sections focusing on me and a small group of riders from NYC. We are staying for the awards ceremony (first time I'll have been to one of those). I look forward to collecting my own medals and tee shirts. I hope my kids get a few prizes, too!

NY Times Article about the Club

2007-07-05T22:49:00.000-04:00

The New York Times ran a story about my unicycle club this week (July 2, page B2). This is the club I founded along with Joe Merrill back at the beginning of 2001. Co-founder Joe rarely makes it to the club these days. If he comes out twice in a year, it's a treat. He's got his own things going on in his life, including some cool muni'ing that he organizes. So at this point, the New York Unicycle Club is essentially a one-man operation, and I'm that dude.

In addition to attending almost all of the 150 get-togethers of our group, I've written up a 'minutes' of every meeting, discussing which people attended and what those people did. Through my chronicles, fellow riders could read about their own successes and could follow the successes of others. There are people on the list who haven't been to the club in over two years but who still want to stay on my email list, just so they can read about their friends' exploits.

I've always been a publicity whore, so when the writer from the Times contacted me about a potential article, I was happy to oblige. We've been featured on an early morning NBC show ("Today in New York") and in a weird article in Time Out New York, and each time, we've garnered new members as a result. I figured a piece in the Times would be great for the club and might be a nice for me, too. Unfortunately, I was unable to make it to the club on the day the writer came -- Emmett had a dance performance at about the same time. But I figured that after our long interview on the phone, the writer would include me in one way or another. I even forwarded him some great photos of me and the kids on unicycles.

Instead, the article turned out to be about my brother and a few others, but there was no mention of me. I was disappointed not to be mentioned. Oh well. next time I'll insist. It would also have been nice if the Times had included our website address. In any case, I look forward to a few new members joining us at Grant's Tomb.

Here is the article:

JOHN STONE is a composer and an athlete in Manhattan, and he has never been in a circus. This last fact is an important but often misunderstood aspect of his life, but perhaps one of the drawbacks of commuting to work in Midtown from his home on the Upper West Side on a unicycle.

“It gets tiresome that people see me on my unicycle and they only think of that,” he said on a recent Sunday while holding a tall black unicycle with special features to accommodate long-distance rides. “Sometimes people will see me riding and start singing circus music at me.”

Mr. Stone, 37, was with others who understood his plight. Every other Sunday, unicyclists who call themselves the Unatics and say they are New York City’s only unicycle club, meet at Grant’s Tomb in Riverside Park to ride, learn new tricks and bond with others who share their love of balancing on top of one wheel. The club, which was founded in 2001, has more than a hundred members.

On this particular Sunday, about 30 unicyclists rode along the concrete entrance to Grant’s Tomb. Club members arranged metal barricades into three rows, so that beginners could find their balance with handholds.

James Sui, 14, impressed other riders by hopping down a set of four stairs at once and remaining upright. Ted Piltzecker, a jazz musician and professor, traced lazy circles while juggling three balls. And Shane Hope, an artist who lives in Brooklyn, glided by on what he called a BC wheel, which is essentially a unicycle without a seat or pedals.

For club members, these Sundays are one of the few chances to feel as if their hobby is a mainstream sport. “This is a friendly world,” Mr. Stone said, adding that riders often know one another’s names and share stories. He said that asking to borrow someone else’s unicycle was understood and encouraged.

But those who don’t ride unicycles also orbit this one-wheeled community. So, Mr. Stone said, unicyclists must sometimes curtail their space when tour groups descend on Grant’s Tomb, where it is generally frowned upon to ride on the monument.

Throughout the afternoon, two rangers from the National Park Service stood at the door to Grant’s Tomb and watched the Unatics. “I thought they were part of the circus the first time I saw them here,” said one ranger, who did not give his name because he said he was not allowed to speak with reporters. “I think they should go down to the trapeze school on the West Side and put a hat out and make a mint.”

Club members have often offered to teach the ranger how to ride a unicycle, he said, but to no avail. “I would break my head open,” he said.

Unicycle Count

2007-06-29T09:05:00.000-04:00

Unicycles, like lovers, are mostly memorable, but after you reach ten or twelve, you lose count. I'm at a point in my life (let's hope it's for the rest of my life) where the number of lovers isn't going to increase any more. My unicycle count, however, has changed recently. It's time for a recount.

I sold one of my Super Trick Cycles to a kid in my club. Now I only have two of them! These are such rare items that none of them have surfaced for sale on eBay in the past year.

I bought a muni last year -- the most recent uni I've purchased, and I fixed up my trials uni (correction: Mike the Bike fixed it for me here in New Paltz). The trials was on loan for about six months and was pretty beaten up after that, but now it's sweet.

My kids haven't gotten any new unis, but I'll count theirs separately from now on because they're pretty serious riders. In other words, I no longer own their unicycles, really.

So here are the 16 cycles in my uni collection, in order of how often I ride them:

29" Schlumpf guni...
24" Freeride mountain unicycle (Kris Holm) with 3" Gazzalotti tire...
20" freestyle (United frame, carbon fiber Miyata seat)...
20" trials...
20" impossible wheel...
26" ultimate wheel, nylon sewn on the tire (courtesy of David Bagley) to reduce friction...
20" "Spin-Cycle" that has a rotating frame...
46" Godzilla (built by the same man as the Spin-Cycle)...
20" Schwinn 6' giraffe...
36" Coker -- poor thing, I used to ride it all the time! Now it languishes in the basement...
24" Torker...
Super Trick Cycle...
Another Super Trick Cycle...
24" racing uni (Qu-Ax). This one is actually meeting me at the 2007 NAUCC, having been forgotten (and picked up) at the 2006 NAUCC...
29" Semcycle (in a state of disrepair)...
24" ultimate wheel

Those are the odds. Here are the ends:

ENDS (missing something)
26" Semcycle (minus pedals, inner tube, seat post, and seat)
36" Coker, minus the frame

Interestingly, while I was writing this list, I suddenly had to run an errand that involved uni'ing back from town, 3.5 miles away. My wife had taken my car, and with it my guni, so I was forced to think fast -- and I grabbed that neglected Coker. A few puffs from a bike pump, and it was ready to go. It's always great to have a spare unicycle or two (or 15).

Getting in Gear, Again

2007-06-19T21:55:00.000-04:00

MUNIs: Slow Ridin'
For much of this 'school year,' I brought my new muni on the bus to NYC and then rode the 2 miles to my mom's place (my office). Initially I'd used my guni, but when it jammed back in the fall, I discovered the joys of muni'ing in Manhattan. It took months for Florian to get my geared unicycle hub back to me ... and a few more weeks before the local bicycle mechanic (Mike the Bike) could put the wheel together for me. In the meantime, I discovered that munis are great for navigating the busy sidewalks of NYC. The only problem is that the ride is rather poky.

A few weeks ago, two things happened to change my routine. Most importantly, I finally had the guni back in action. I rode it around a parking lot her in the Noop and discovered that changing gears was as easy as ever. That is one amazing machine. At the same time, a second factor weighed in: I was in a rush. The muni is a 24" uni with huge cranks. It's not meant for speed. [It's great for going up huge curbs, tho!] Looking at my schedule one day, I realized that I only had 20 minutes from my last student until the bus departure. I decided to try the guni instead. It's a speed machine [not so great on curbs, tho].

I have this cool GPS watch from Gorman that has been languishing in my backpack for months. I wasn't even sure it was charged. The watch relies on satellite links, and if you're among tall buildings, it can take a long time to find the proper signal. Once it does, tho, it's very accurate, and even without the satellite hook-up, you can always just use it as a stopwatch. I decided to see how fast I could make my ride. From 81st and CPW to 41st and 8th Ave (almost exactly 2 miles), my time was under 13 minutes. The ride in the opposite direction was even faster, since I wasn't going against traffic the whole time. I think I made it in about 9 or 10 minutes.

I also found that the ride from my house to the New Paltz bus station was much quicker with the guni than without. The few times I rode there on the muni, the ride was a tiring 20 minutes or a boring 25. Today I made it home from the station in 16 minutes. In fact, the 3 miles until my dirt road clocked in at 12 minutes, meaning that I was averaging 15 mph+. I rode most of my dirt road in high gear, but near the end it gets pretty hilly (pretty up-hilly!), so I switched down and cruised at regular mode. The road is really pitted about now, so the geared-up setting is really difficult because it's very hard to go over the big bumps with so much less torque.

I'm also going to keep the guni going for now because it'll help me with the 10k race this summer at the NAUCC in Michigan. I'm hoping to win that race not only for my age division but over all. We'll see!

LONG Rides Down Memory Lane

2007-05-11T09:52:00.000-04:00

After dropping my wife's car at the dealership, I unicycled to my mother's apartment. Here's the rub: They're about 20 miles apart.

The dealership (Plaza Auto Mall) is in the southern part of Brooklyn, on Nostrand Ave and Avenue M. We bought the car just before moving to New Paltz, so when we realized that there was a problem with the DVD player, it was too late to fix it because we were no longer anywhere near Plaza. It took 8 months to find a good day for me to take the car in, and that day finally came this past Wednesday.

I wasn't planning to ride all the way to my mom's place, but I left open that possibility. I rode to my old school (where I taught for the previous 7 years), said hi to friends, did an errand, and then decided to cross the Brooklyn Bridge for old time's sake. Once across, I realized I had time to ride up the West Side Bike Path, a lovely trail of flat road that is generally uncrowded during work hours. I could have ridden to my mom's directly, but I rode a bit further (to 89th St), then headed to my mom's place a half-mile back. In total, I rode about 20 miles. I was happy to find that not only was I free from soreness, but I wasn't even very thirsty (despite forgetting to drink anything during the ride -- oops).

The only downside to the ride was that one of the buttons fell off my geared uni -- again. I've lost at least 5 buttons, and it's annoying because it means that I can't switch to low gear on the fly. Instead, I have to push a piece in with a ball-point pen in order to get back into low gear. But when I did have that button in place, the gear switched beautifully. I think I have one replacement button left. I'll have to order a few more, and this time, I'll really try to get the next one on tightly.

Hernia? Followup Note

2007-03-20T22:17:00.000-04:00

Nah, it wasn't a hernia. I have apparently developed a hydrocele or some similar thing. Whatever it is, it's not harmful or even painful (anymore -- tho it was for a few days). I have been unicycling again since a couple days after my scare, and that's been fine. I'll just have to keep an eye on this lump I have to make sure it doesn't change. Maybe one day I'll have it removed. For now it's not causing a problem.

I Hate Scooter(s)

2007-03-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

On the same day that Scooter Libby was convicted of four counts of doing bad things to good people, I rode a scooter for 6 miles and hated every bit of it.

The problem started when my doctor said that there was a chance that I'd developed a small hernia and that yes, I should stay off the unicycle for a few days. He didn't see anything wrong with a scooter, tho -- except that it's a terrible way to travel six miles other than on a gentle downward slope, which sadly is not the case in Manhattan.

True, the scooter was better than having to take the subway. I had to take the subway yesterday because my brain was too slow to think of the scooter until then. Subways are bad enough in NYC, but I make them worse thru my own stupid mistakes, so my 10 minute ride from Port Authority to my mom's turned into a 45 minute odyssey when I hopped on the E train instead of the C and didn't catch my error for 3 stops. That was so typical of me, and part of why I hate traveling underground. At least if I'm unicycling I can tell after a block if I've gone in the wrong direction.

This afternoon, at least I was traveling on the streets -- but that was part of the problem today. The streets were gross. It had just snowed, so everywhere I rode, there was a slushy muck that got all over the scooter. Opening and closing it after my rides was disgusting. This was the least of my quibbles today, however.

I have a student I pick up twice a week from his nearby school. I usually ride my unicycle while he travels the 19 blocks on his scooter. By coincidence, I asked him a few days ago whether he ever switched feet, because in the few times I've traveled by scooter, I noticed that switching is a good way to avoid muscle exhaustion. He said that he had a hard time switching and preferred just using one leg for standing and one for pushing. Of course, he's only 6, so maybe that's part of it.

So how lame did I feel today when I couldn't manage more than 3 blocks without having to switch legs? By the time my ordeal was over, both of my legs were a bit sore. And I still stink at pushing with my left leg.

Hernia?

2007-03-07T23:28:00.000-05:00

I've been riding for a long time, and I've been riding this particular unicycle (my muni) for months. So it was a surprise that a few days ago, I noticed that something wasn't feeling right and discovered that this same thing was a bit larger than its brother.

I went to the doctor this morning, and his initial diagnosis was that it wasn't a hernia, leaving open several possibilities. Happily one of those wasn't testicular cancer, but just to check into the others, he sent me across the hall for a sonogram.

To my surprise, a cancellation allowed me to be seen right away. This led to a 'wet read,' which is when the doctor gets back some results and goes over them before you've left the office. So within 90 minutes, I'd been examined by a doctor and a sonographer, had my sonography read by a radiologist, and had those results related back to the doctor who then went over them with me. Only in New Paltz (or less specifically, never in NYC). And my copay for all of this medical care? $5.

As for the wet read, the doctor said that the sonogram had revealed what the radiologist felt might be a small hernia after all. So I'm back at the doctor's office tomorrow morning for a CAT scan.

The bad news is that I had to get around Manhattan on a scooter rather than my unicycle (I hate scooters). The good news is that my groin doesn't hurt anymore. Still, I hope I get some good results from the lab tomorrow.

Finally, Some Updates

2007-03-07T23:08:00.000-05:00

OK, it's been MONTHS since my last confession.

In that time, I've hit a few strides (NOT ruts!), so there hasn't been a lot to write about. Then there were a few changes lately that merited some comments.

For the past few months, I've been using my muni for riding in Manhattan. This came about because for a long time, Florian had my guni in Switzerland, so I had to make do with a different unicycle. Then I fell in love with the muni. Its 3-inch-wide tire is perfect for small maneuvering around obstacles on NYC streets. I like riding around lampposts and hydrants, for example, and a smaller and fatter wheel is great for that. It's also a bit easier to take under the bus, but that's not a real factor. Mainly I love the big bouncy wheel.

Then the guni reappeared. Or rather, the hub made it back to New Paltz, but I had to have the wheel rebuilt. As it happens, the bike shop where Mike would be reassembling the wheel was closed for the winter except on Saturdays, when I was, by coincidence, out of town for three straight weekends. Finally I met up with Mike the Bike, and a few weeks later, I had the guni up and running again. Unfortunately, one of the buttons that's used for the gearshift fell out. This wasn't the first time -- in fact, I guess it was the 4th. So I emailed Florian, and he sent me a few replacements. Sure enough, the very next time on it, the replacement button fell out. Now I'm afraid to try the thing again because I'm down to my last replacement.

So I'm back to the muni for Manhattan... except for my possible hernia. More on that in the next blog.

Dead Guni. Dead.

2006-09-30T00:46:00.000-04:00

My geared unicycle DIED this past Wednesday. I was riding to the bus depot in New Paltz at the time. Correction: I was IN the parking lot where the bus arrives. I had just ridden there and was switching into low gear when it happened, a crunching of gears that sounded bad and felt worse. Within seconds I was phoning Shirra to ask if she could come to the depot to pick up my dead guni. The rest of the day I had to walk (heaven forfend!) and even wound up taking the subway from my mom's to Port Authority on my way home. I can't even remember the previous time I took the subway, but I think I was dressed pretty nicely and heading back from a conference.

The next day I took the guni apart and sent it back to Switzerland, where its inventor (Schlumpf) lives. I'd already contacted him, so he knows it's on its way (and should arrive shortly, since I mailed it Express). It turns out that I'm the first person to break the new hub. Go me.

In the meantime, I have been riding my new mountain unicycle instead. Yes, I've gone from guni to muni. It certainly offers a different ride -- quite slow in comparison, especially when riding long stretches like Route 32N -- but it's great for riding up our unpaved road at night. Still, I hope I get my geared unicycle back fast.

Inefficiency Expert

2006-09-30T00:41:00.000-04:00

I read "Cheaper by the Dozen" to the kids a couple years ago and was amazed to learn that the father of the 12 kids was a professional efficiency expert. I sometimes wish I'd gone into that field.

I'm no good at following oral directions, so when I'm lost, I ask a local for directions, carry out the first step, and then ask someone else, and so on, till I get home. Part of the problem is that I often forget or confuse directions when I'm listening (just ask the wife). The other reason is that my geographic abilities are severely hampered. Some people have a bad sense of direction. I prefer to say that I have an excellent sense of misdirection.

But my spacial and temporal senses kick in when I'm loading a dishwasher or packing groceries. People who see me putting our purchases into boxes at the market always comment that I'm so organized, not only in how I fill the boxes but also in the way I control the time. I'm the guy who puts all of the frozen goods in one box and all the fridge stuff in another, just to save time unpacking at home. I love to use the fewest resources and take the shortest time to get my work done.

Conversely, it kills me to see things done inefficiently. I've been known to ask bad parkers to move their cars up a foot or two so that they don't inadvertently take up two spaces - even when I'm just walking along the sidewalk. I can't stand stopping my car when a light is about to turn red because I know that I'll be wasting gas waiting for the green (but don't tell this to Geico). I can't stand when teachers use all new sheets to print out class materials that would look just as good on gently-used paper.

I'm writing this while sitting in a queue, waiting for a parking space at the small lot abutting a private beach here in Martha's Vineyard. You need a beach pass for your car in order to park here in the first place, but normally there are plenty of spaces. Today, however, I'm car #5 in line to enter. What really irks me, tho, is that there are a bunch of people who parked two feet from their neighbor. Had the attendant spaced them better, at least two other cars could fit in the small lot.

How does this (loosely) connect to unicycling? Well, unis are undeniably compact compared to bikes; they're much easier to transport in a car or on a train or bus. And for short errands they're handier (and speedier) too, in part because you can take them into most shops and other public places. They're also great as a way to get around fast when you need your hands. I find unis much more convenient than bikes or inline skates (who wants to carry around an extra pair of shoes?). Skateboards are
pretty high up on the convenience scale, too, but for longer commutes, unicycles are faster for sure.

Riding from New Paltz to Manhattan

2006-09-13T21:14:00.000-04:00

Well, not really!

I live down Route 32N in New Paltz. The bus depot for Adirondack Trailways is just 3 miles from home, a ride that takes about 19 minutes, including 7 minutes spent taking the unpaved and undulating private road from my house to 32N. The rest of the ride, while smooth, is a bit harrowing due to the fact that for most of the ride, cars are permitted to drive 55 mph right beside me as I keep my balance along a thin bicycling lane. Actually, it's not a bike lane at all -- just a narrow bit of tarmac that passes for one.

I take the Trailways coach to Manhattan's Port Authority terminal at 41st Street and 8th Avenue. From there, my mom's place is within spitting distance (an apt description of my riding conditions this afternoon) -- a mere 2.5 miles north of the Big Apple's big depot. That ride takes less than 20 minutes. In all, I get a total of 11 miles of riding each day, which ends up being a bit more than I rode last year. I liked the ride more last year, tho, since much of it was alongside Prospect Park.

I'm not looking forward to riding on a snowy day -- 32N is dangerous enough without slick conditions -- but there is good news. I found out today that I can request a stop along the route of the Trailways coach, and the driver will honor any request. Happily for me, this means that I can get depot-to-driveway service on my way back to New Paltz. I'll still have to negotiate my crazy private road, but that's not so bad; I can always walk if the dark, slick, bumpy, uphill conditions don't permit uni'ing.

Life (Well, 2 Weeks) Sans Uni

2006-08-22T16:43:00.000-04:00

We're halfway thru our stay in Martha's Vineyard, and tho we're having fun, I'm still sore about leaving behind all of my unicycles.

Literally sore.

Today we missed the hourly beach bus by two minutes. Knowing that it's only a few miles from our hotel, I decided to run to the car so that I could come back for the rest of the family. The run took me 18 minutes and turned out to be a bit over 3 miles. I guess that means I ran 10 mph. The road was fairly flat, with a few soft up- and down-hills, and was asphalt the whole way. I was running, sockless, in the Keen's sandals that I'd brought to the beach. When I got to the car, my legs were sore and the ball of my right foot was heading for a blister.

The last time my legs felt like this was after I'd run down Masada. That's the natural fortress in Israel where my early ancestors defended themselves from a Roman siege for two years before finally committing suicide to avoid slavery. Shirra and I visited the spot with my mom's friends Yakov and Alma about 12 years ago, and despite their invitation to take the tram car up and back, we decided to hike up. It's about 30-60 minutes' trek, depending on your fitness and how well you deal with the blazing sun. Because our friends didn't wake up in time, we arrived not at 9 am, as planned, but at noon, when it was 115°. After viewing the site for a couple hours, Yakov and Alma had had enough and took the return tram, along with Shirra. But I chose to time myself as I ran down the rocky, winding path of the mountain. I made it down in 9 minutes and hopped right into Yakov's highly air-conditioned car. There wasn't much legroom, so my gams stayed in a fixed posish for the two-hour ride back to Jerusalem. The next morning, my leg muscles were so tight that Shirra had to push me out of bed. I spent the rest of that day slowly regaining movement and thinking about the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz.

Last year I drove us to this same beach (the Lucy Vincent, for which our hotel no longer has a pass), but I had my unicycle. It's an easy ride to the beach and back...but not an easy run.

Seeing the World thru Muni-Tinted Glasses

2006-08-17T00:09:00.000-04:00

We closed on the house last week, but before we had signed any papers, we drove to the house for a 'walk-through.'

The previous owners were landscapers, so they had no trouble putting five big boulders together near one of the entrances of the house and surrounding the rocks with plants. Shirra was happy when she saw that we have a pretty garden just steps from the house. My view of things was different. I saw a bunch of lovely obstacles surrounded by some flowers that I'll have to be careful not to land on. Shirra saw the flowers, and I saw the rocks.

I haven't hopped on too many rocks, but I can recognize a good 'line' when I see it. These rocks start off nicely with a little step-like place that will be easy to hop onto. From there, it's a short jump up to the top of that boulder. The remaining rocks are close enough to either ride or hop to, tho hopping seems the better option. It all ends in a two-foot drop back to the soft ground.

Now that we finally own the house (and property), we're here in Martha's Vineyard for two weeks. We won't spend our first night in New Paltz until late August. I'm happy to be on vacation, but I can't wait till we get back home so that I can play with my new toy. I'm really glad that I have a mountain unicycle and that I have a lot of places to use it. I can't believe I left it in New Paltz.

Maintaining Your Unicycle Collection

2006-08-06T11:50:00.000-04:00

As I just discovered, I own 23 unis. I've also discovered that there is a great bike shop in New Paltz that is affiliated with Unicycle.com. It's finally time for me to get all of my unicycles in top shape.

* Cokers: I have two Coker wheels (only one frame), and both need new tires. Both need new cranks and maybe new pedals. The one that has a frame needs a new seat post, and I don't think I can take out the old one because it's rusted stuck.
* Trials: new pedals and maybe new cranks
* Kids' unis: All needed new pedals, which I took care of yesterday.
* My 20" freestyle: new tire
* Guni: new innertube
* 29" Semcycle: innertube
...And some of the older unicycles need their seats replaced.

It will be nice to have all of these unis in perfect shape again.

Unicycling at the Mohonk Preserve

2006-08-06T00:50:00.000-04:00

Today was the Mohonk Preserve Unicycle Show, 11am-1pm.

We made it to New Paltz at the last possible moment thanks in part to the extremely flat tire on the car I was hoping to drive up there in. Later I discovered that I'd driven over a nail and that the tire had lost all its air during the following night. The good news is that I have two cars and that they were parked back-to-back, so the setback only meant that I had to transfer most of my unis from the Odyssey to the Aztek, which cut out our Starbucks visit. It also meant that I had to leave behind my giraffe, my Coker, and my guni.

Thanks to her excellent directions, after reaching New Paltz, we had no trouble meeting up with Betty Boomer, who heads these sorts of events for the Preserve. The unicycle show-and-tell took place in a lovely, open gazebo nestled in a gorgeous setting. A man named Saul helped me with some of the unis, and he was quickly joined by a family of four as well as a mom and her 5-year-old son and the main park ranger of the area, Hank. I demonstrated all of the various unicycles I had, briefly discussing each one and occasionally showing a trick, and by noon, everyone who could ride a unicycle was zooming around under the gazebo, including Emmett, who has gotten really good (and who kept trying really hard skills), and Fiona, who managed 7 revs backwards and about 20 half-revs of idling. The family of four included sons Wyatt (15) and Cody (17), both excellent riders. Wyatt had an old Jugglebug that was seemingly held together by rust, but that didn't stop him from pulling off uni-spins (where you jump up, spin the uni half-way around, and land back on the pedals). He and his brother rode off the 5-step staircase and bounced right back up, and they also worked on wheel-walking and other tricks. They showed me their giraffe (I was hoping someone would bring one), and I demonstrated a running jumpmount onto it. Their dad, Keith, said that he'd like to learn soon, and their mom, Linda, later told me that it's time she learn, too. Hank, the park ranger, told me that he hadn't ridden a uni in 31 years and then proceeded to ride around like he'd never quit. Saul, who learned recently after buying himself a uni for his 50th b'day, looked pretty solid as a rider and worked on freemounting and idling.

Afterwards, we spent some time at The Bike Rack, a local shop that happens to be affiliated with unicycle.com. The guys there were very interested in my uni knowledge and in seeing the weird unis I still had in the car after we'd dropped off a few of the large ones. I rode my BC wheel down the hill outside the shop, and later one of the guys cut down 2" off my new muni's seat post (it was a bit too long). We headed home shortly after, several minutes after Shirra had finally hit that Starbucks!

Unicycle Show in New Paltz

2006-08-04T16:42:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I'm putting on a unicycle show in New Paltz at the Mohonk Preserve. The forecast is for pleasant weather and a high probability of unicycles.

I'm bringing my brand spanking new muni, mainly as part of the show-and-tell. At this point, I'm not even sure my legs are long enough to reach the pedals comfortably -- I may have to cut down the seat post an inch or so. In all, I'll have these unicycles in attendance:

my new muni
my 6' giraffe
my 46" Godzilla (one of the largest unicycle wheels in the world)
my 20" freestyle
my 26" ultimate wheel (uw)
my BC wheel
my 20" fat-tired trials uni
my geared 29" Schlumpf uni
Fiona's 20" freestyle
Emmett's 16" uni
a 12" uni
my 'Spin Cycle' with the spinning seat post
...as well as one of my three Super Trick Cycles
...and, room permitting, one of my Cokers

I guess this is a good time to keep track of what I'm NOT bringing. On top of all of these unis, I have:
my 24" racing uni (currently doing time in Memphis)
two other STCs
a Torker 24"
a Semcycle 26"
a Semcycle 29"
a 24" uw
another Coker (missing its frame)
Fiona's 20" trials/mountain unicycle

I guess that means that I own 23 unicycles, tho a couple of them aren't complete (like one of my Cokers).

At the Preserve, I'll mostly be demonstrating these different unis, and then I'll do some tricks. Afterwards I'll allow some of the people to try out a unicycle. I heard that as of yesterday, 13 people had already signed up for the event and that the organizer is expecting even more. Should be a fun time!

Muni en Route

2006-08-02T16:03:00.000-04:00

After years of postponing the inevitable, I have finally ordered my first mountain unicycle. It's a KH 24" Freeride with a 3" Gazzalotti tire. In terms of price, it's only about a third of what the big guns cost, but when I asked around, almost everyone recommended a Freeride, and that made the choice even easier.

The other co-founder of the New York Unicycle Club, Joe Merrill, is very big in East Coast muni circles these days. He has a fantastic muni, tho it's very heavy, and its 7" cranks allow him practically to ride up walls. He has organized mountain unicycle weekends as well as "Motorama," which brings together trials unicyclists in a contest to see who can complete the most, or most difficult, obstacles. It all sounded fun, and I wanted to join, but I knew that realistically, I had little use for a muni: I worked most Sundays (so no muni weekends for me), many of my weekends were taken up with my kids, and there is nowhere to practice mountain unicycling in Manhattan. Well, nowhere LEGAL, anyway. Had I gone and bought a muni when Joe did, I'm sure I would have found time and place for it, but I have a feeling it would have languished in my garage most of the time. Alternatively, I might have made time by riding it around late at night, but then my marriage might have suffered. I'm glad I waited till Monday before ordering one.

My impetuses (impeti? impetus (is it 2nd or 4th declention?) were twofold. Firstly, we are just about to move to New Paltz. I'll have nearly 8 acres all to myself, where I can build a fun course and just ride around for fun (and poison ivy). I also won't be working on weekends, but that's beside the point. Secondly, I'm going to be demonstrating unicycles near the Mohonk Preserve this Saturday. Since a mountain unicycle is just what I'll be using up there, it seemed silly to want to put on a unicycle show-and-tell without a muni. Now I'm just hoping the shipment arrives in time.

8/4/ 06 update. It arrived an hour ago! Unfortunately, I didn't have time to put it together, but it looks gorgeous!

Emmett, the Youngest Unicyclist on the East Coast (officially, at least)

2006-07-17T16:08:00.000-04:00

The New York Unicycle Club met yesterday, and I brought along my tribe (Fiona, Emmett, and little Maeve). We had a decent turnout, in large part because about 6 riders had shown up to join Brian MacKenzie as he filmed a Coker ride to and thru Central Park.

As soon as I arrived at the Tomb, Emmett started riding (quickly!) around the quad, going in big circles and zooming around with great skill (and abandon). This was the best he had ever ridden, and he was enjoying himself tremendously. When I got back, Emmett was still having a blast. In fact, he even won his first 'race' (against another little boy who was also riding a 16" wheel). He had gotten to the point where he only needed to freemount in order to pass level 1. I gave him a piece of advice, he tried it, he got it the first time, and voila: He is level 1!

And in other Emmett news, I got a call asking if he can audition for a commercial this Tuesday. An agent had seen him in a video about our club that was made a few months back. His tryout is tomorrow.

Not to be outdone, Fiona passed level 2 (go, Fiona!), finally freemounting with her left foot to pass that last required item.

Just to be on the safe side, I took Maeve's future uni out of storage, a sturdy little 12-incher that's hard to ride because the pedals hit the ground if you turn too sharply. Still, I know she'll have a great time trying it out.

NAUCC 06 Racing Results

2006-07-15T00:20:00.000-04:00

Written July 5, 2006

Hey, gang!

We're leaving town this afternoon, but first there are a few more races. Most of the remaining ones could be considered somewhat silly (unicycling while juggling, uni'ing on one foot, etc), but there is one more 'track' event that we're definitely doing, the 100m.

Yesterday saw the running of the 400m race and the 1500m and 800m races (the adults do the 1500 and kids under 11 do the 800). In the 400, I came in first in my age group by 13 seconds (a large marge) and qualified easily for the 'expert' heat later on. In the 'expert' heat, inspired by a young man in lane 2, I raced faster than ever before and earned a great time, nearly falling twice before the finish, placing 4th among all competitors.

The 1500m (mile) race is 4x around the track. I elected not to run in the expert heat because it seemed like I'd save some time if I just went in the earlier running of my age group. The upside is that I got to leave a couple minutes earlier after a long day filled with more Maeve-minding than racing. The downside is that I didn't have any competition to inspire me to greater speeds, so my time, while very fast, was slower than some of the times from the expert heat by the guys I usually beat. Still it was 10 seconds better than my previous best, and I was thrilled about that. My new racing-uni has to be partly responsible.

In the 100m race earlier today, I again won my age group easily and made it into the 'expert' heat later on. The track was only 7 lanes wide rather than the usual 8, and because my time was only within the top 6 or 7, I was placed in lane 7, the right-most lane. What often happens in these expert heats is that the racers go all out, as a result of which some of them lean too far forward and fall. As we got to the midway point of the short race, I could tell that I'd be in about 5th place at best, but a few meters later, two riders fell (several lanes apart) including the guy in lane 6. Luckily I was able to ride around his unicycle AND him, because he made no attempt to move either one, and amazingly I finished in 3rd place. I also lowered my time from 16.95 in the earlier heat to 16.72 in the expert heat. It really does help to have faster racers all around you, and I only wish I'd run in the expert heat of the 1500m race as well, because I'm sure I'd have done even better.

Yesterday, Fiona ran the 400 and the 800 with different results. She fell off in the 400, an automatic DQ, but it didn't change her outcome much since she would have been near last place, and in the 800 she was the last to finish in her age group. The nice thing is that she didn't lose her balance in that long race, so now she can compete against her own time in next year's race. Today she managed to stay on for the 100m race, tho again she finished close to the back (one other girl DQ'ed, so Fiona came in 10th or so). I was glad to see that she was upset about losing so badly, and later she said that she would like to do better next year and is willing to put in more practice.

Emmett has nearly mastered the basics, but he just couldn't put together a long enough ride to manage the 100m today (barring miracles). He was a bit disappointed, but he's thrilled about his prospects next year. If only he'd learned to ride just a bit sooner! He was the only one in his age group and could have gone home with all the medals!

Shirra's events, of various distances, consisted of chasing Maeve in a series of 'come back here young lady' races.

After the long day, Fiona, Emmett, and I had a long night. We went to 'flaming puck' hockey, a late-nite game played in parking lots with regular hockey sticks and with (you guessed it) flaming pucks. The pucks are made from steel wool soaked in a flammable mixture. Fiona got to play a few rounds and shrieked when the puck hit her wheel or zoomed right past her a few times. I scored my first flaming puck goal after several years of play. Emmett got to be the puck-boy, shooting in a new puck when the old one had run out of fuel; he also got to hit the puck back into play if it came too close to the side. In all, he got to hit it 7 or 8 times and was ecstatic.

Back from the Races

2006-07-14T16:39:00.000-04:00

We got back from the unicycling convention a few days ago. It was in Memphis, and the 1,100-mile trip took about 1,100 minutes each way, which means we averaged well over 60 mph on account of our breaks. Everything made it back except for one stuffed animal that has not yet been missed and one racing unicycle that will eventually be sent back from its caretaker in Tennessee.

I participated in all of the races I could. For my age group, I set personal records in all three speed races that involve normal riding (two feet on the pedals). I didn't manage to finish the wheel-walking race, and I had a poor time in the one-footed race, though I still managed 2nd place in my bracket. I also had a 2nd place in the slow backward 'race' and a 3rd place finish in the slow forward race. I also came in 2nd for the obstacle course, which I have always done poorly on. Overall I finished 2nd in 'racing points' for men in their 30s, losing out to a talented but slow rider who managed to do pretty well in the speed races and won all of the other ones.

What I was happiest about was how much faster I rode than in previous years. It's been funny to me how I've gotten faster as I've aged. Certainly that racing uni helped a great deal. And I think that I'll do even better next year.

Next year I'll be in a higher age category. I expect to beat all of my old times, but I'm pretty sure I'll come in 2nd in racing points again because my strongest competitor is John Foss, who is really good at all of the races where I struggle. He'll win the slow races, the one-foot race, and the obstacle course, and I'll win the speed races. My goal is actually to get into the expert heats again.

http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=20411503&postID=114644986399013992

188'

2006-07-14T15:41:00.000-04:00

Emmett's Continuing Success

Emmett is really excited about his riding. He's now got a personal record of 45 revolutions and has also ridden 30, 40, and many other long runs. Since his 16" wheel rolls out about 50 inches, he rode about 188 feet. Now all he has to do is learn to freemount (he's working on it) and he'll have mastered level 1. He can already dismount gracefully most of the time, tho of course some of his unplanned dismounts (and most of them are still unplanned!) are quite scary.

What's really nice for Emmett is that he's so thrilled about his success that he wants to show everyone. And unlike most things that 6-year-olds show grown-ups, this one is truly impressive (unlike, say, a stack of Yu-Ge-Oh cards*). One of the things I've said over the years is that unicycling builds confidence. Emmett will always be known as the boy who unicycles, and it's wonderful to be known for something positive like that.

What's nice for me is that I now have two children who love unicycling (and Maeve will clearly join them as soon as I give her a unicycle her size). Shirra has enjoyed knitting with Fiona for several years now, and over that same period, I've loved riding around with Fiona. We rode home from Packer one day, a nearly-five-mile ride that was quite rewarding for both of us. We got to do a lot of chatting, and it was fun just spending time together. It was also nice for Fiona since it was the longest ride she'd ever made -- by far!

Shirra just phoned me from home to report that Maeve is running around the yard while the big kids ride around on their unicycles. That's a nice picture.

Groundhog Day (the movie)

2006-07-02T18:56:00.000-04:00

If I had to watch the same movie everyday for the rest of my life, it would be have to be "Groundhog Day."

Of course, that's a joke within a joke, but it's also true because "Groundhog Day" is one of my favorite movies, along with "Brazil" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark." For the extremely small number of you who both read my blog AND haven't seen the film, it is, in short, about a man who has to relive the same day until he gets it right; only once he has become the best person he can be is his life allowed to continue. At that point, he finally appreciates his life.

The movie is sublime. It never hits you over the head with its message, but if you've watched it enough times, you won't be surprised to learn that it has been called the most spiritual movie of all time or that there was a conference to discuss its Buddhist implications.

I've already written about how unicycling has led me to appreciate life in a way I never did before. Mainly that's from the time that I could have died had a schoolbus not swerved at the last second before hitting me (not my fault!), but also because unicycling has opened certain doors for me or has otherwise changed my direction in life. As Fiona Apple sings: "If there was a better way to go then it would find me./ I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me." Groundhog Day is a way of seeing how the road could have rolled out differently.

One Wheel at a Time

2006-07-02T01:13:00.000-04:00

Well, it had to happen. Emmett has just learned how to unicycle, and he still can't ride a 2-wheeler. He turns 7 next month.

He was hoping to master his unicycle before racing day here in Memphis, and recently he'd gotten close, riding two or three revs on his own. But today, practicing in the gym where the convention holds many of its indoor games and competitions, he suddenly managed rides of 5- to 7-revolutions! He was as thrilled as a kid who gets a unicycle for Xmas.

Now if we can just teach him to ride his bike....

And his big sister was the same way. She mastered uni'ing a week before her 8th birthday, and it wasn't till a few months later that she could ride a bike.

Packing up the Car

2006-06-29T22:43:00.001-04:00

We had to take more unicycles than laundry for this trip. I brought my Coker and my 29" geared uni for the long rides as well as my Qu-Ax racing uni for the races and my freestyle for some other stuff. Fiona and Emmett have their own unis, and Shirra can borrow my freestyle. There was actually more room in the car, but we decided to pack lightly! We even packed some clothing and food. What was really helpful is that we didn't need to waste space with Maeve's portable crib -- she likes sleeping in bed with the big kids, and we're happy to oblige!

The Trip to the Memphis Unicycle Convention

2006-06-29T22:43:00.000-04:00

We've safely arrived in Memphis. I should specify that we're physically safe. Mentally, I'm not so sure. The billboards don't come in many flavors. So far, half of the roadside ads we saw were for fireworks stores or Chrismas supply stores (there are an equal number of them). Of the remaining billboards, most are for Shoney's (there is no northern equivalent, but it's like a Denny's). A good portion of billboards featured Christian themes, including a bunch of Best Western billboards that just had their name and a big Jesus fish. Almost as many were touting either Dollywood OR the Loretta Lynn compound (which includes a Coal Miner's Daughter Museum). Then there were two billboards advertising adult bookstores. Make up your mind, South!

My attempt to listen to something on the radio was met with an equally bizarre and narrow spectrum of choices. The music selections were either country (50%) or hard rock (45%), with a sprinkling of Christian music (40% -- imagine a Venn diagram, ok?). The talk radio was nonexistent except for this scary ultra-conservative station where the hosts talked about the evils of the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and those mean people who want to get the Ten Commandments plaques out of courtrooms. It was the auditory equivalent of the Tilt-a-Whirl: scary and nauseating.

The really good news about this necka is that the speed limit is gen'ly around 65 or 70. This means that you can usually drive 74 or 79, at least if you use my calculus of speed limit + 9 = safe. We even bought a radar detector (christened Chipper) for the long drives, and it came in handy a few times (go, Chipper!) except in Virginia, where it's illegal to operate a radar detector. Apparently they even thwart you with their own radar detector detectors; I think our model comes with a radar detector detector detector, tho I wasn't sure, so I turned off the unit. The other great thing about these parts is that there's virtually no traffic, so we made the 1100-mile trip in about 1100 minutes including breaks. Well, not including the overnight we spent in the north-eastern-most corner of Tennessee last night. We drove 650 miles yesterday (from 9:30am-9:30pm) and 450 miles today (8:30-3:30). Chipper didn't come in handy in Maryland, where a trooper literally stepped into the road, hand outraised, to pull me over for 79 in a 65. See, I wasn't using my caluculus. He'd clocked me with binocs and two white lines, so Chipper had no chance to help. At least the ticket was only $80, or the equivalent of a little more than a tank of gas.

Off to the Races

2006-06-23T19:58:00.000-04:00

Speaking of the upcoming uni convention (the North American Unicycle Competition and Convention, or NAUCC), one of the things I always look forward to is the racing. I've never taken part in the skills competitions; I'd love to put together a 3-minute routine, but I've never taken the time or put in the effort to pull one off.

Racing, on the other hand, requires little more than preregistration. On several occasions I have even shown up at the track without a unicycle (there are always so many to borrow and so many friends and acquaintances to borrow from). The one downside to borrowing is that the uni on loan is not necessarily the best cycle for the job. Still, most people don't take racing too seriously, especially in my age bracket (unlike the testy 18-24 year-old male demographic). The few of us who race in our late 30s and beyond are usually content to cross the finish line while still on a unicycle.

I, on the other hand, have always enjoyed and excelled at racing. When I was but a lad, I was the fastest runner in my small elementary school. I developed a taste for winning that was barely squelched by a lackluster semester on my high school track team. For years I enjoyed being the fastest runner on my pick-up softball teams in Central Park; since I rarely displayed any hitting prowess, it was always nice to leg out an infield single and then go first-to-third on a ground-ball out. But after high school. it seemed I'd never get a chance to race again. Then I discovered the NAUCCs.

In some upcoming entry I'll have to list all of my racing results, but I know that I've always done well within my age category. In fact, by some odd luck, I've ridden faster in each race from year to year to the point where I was the oldest competitor in the Expert heat of the 100m race last year (Expert heats have no age cutoffs), and I even finished ahead of some younger bucks. But in a few weeks, I'll be arriving in Memphis with an advantage: my Qu-Ax racing uni! I have a feeling I'll be breaking my old records again. I also have the guni (stuck in high gear) for the unlimited 10k race, which I have always done well with.

I'm definitely looking forward to the races. It will be interesting to see how I do this year since I'll be the oldest member of my age bracket (30-39). After this year, I join the 'geezer' group. The funny thing is, there aren't too many speedsters in their 30s, but there are quite a few fast riders in the 40+ group.

Guni Kaput Redux

2006-06-23T19:53:00.000-04:00

Apparently I'm the first person to have the new hub break. The 1st generation hub had a defect that was corrected in the 2nd generation, but the problem that was fixed (accidental gear slippage) was only slightly better than the problem created by the fix (a hub stuck in high gear). OK, true, I'd rather have a fixed gear that allows me to travel fast rather than a usable gear that occasionally (and disastrously) disengages, but for $1300, I'm supposed to have the best of both worlds. Happily, I'll be exchanging my broken hub at the upcoming uni convention, but it means that I have to take apart my uni and then put it together again with the new hub. Ah well. That's what I get for being at the cutting edge of technology.

Casey at the Ball

2006-06-23T19:29:00.000-04:00

According to Brian Lehrer's comments on NPR recently, soccer is poised to become the next baseball as the intellectual set turns its attention away from the Major Leagues and towards the world's favorite sport.

With that thought in mind, I give you:

Casey at the Ball, by David K. Stone (6/22/06)

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the US team that day;
The score stood two to three, with but four minutes left to play,
And then when Cooney got fouled out, and Barrows did the same,
A death-like silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
"If only Casey could but get a whack at that," they thought,
"We'd put up even money now, if Casey had a shot."

But the sphere avoided Casey and the 'mainder of his nine,
Heading for a group of green-shirts as it bounced along the line;
So upon that stricken multitude was cast a dreary pall,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey getting to the ball.

But Flynn let fly a throw-in, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despised, kicked the cover off the ball;
Then Zantzy passed it blindly, and old Frank gave it his most,
And when the dust was finally gone, the ball was in the post.

Then from a hundred thousand throats there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It pounded on the mountain and recoiled upon the sea,
For the US team, the underdog, had tied the game at three.

With but a minute left to go, the fans, their voices raw,
Screamed for the team to press on, not content to have a draw.
The ball was intercepted, and soon the players scowled,
For their captain, poised to take a shot, was violently fouled.

A billion eyes were on the ref, who gazed about the yard,
And millions shouted as he raised his hand to show a card,
It matched the blood shown round the world on every TV set,
And Casey knew 'twas just the keeper twixt the ball and net.

And now th'official placed the sphere upon the verdant jade,
And the keeper started pacing, as Casey moved one blade.
Close by each team stood lips in teeth, in hopefulness and dread,
"Whenever you are ready," the nervous umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore;
"Kill him! Kill the umpire!" shouted some one on the stand;
And it's likely they'd have killed him had not Casey raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled he was ready, as the 90th minute passed,
"Here I go," said mighty Casey. Said the umpire: "Make it fast."

"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered "Fraud!"
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn't let that chance go by again.

The sneer has fled from Casey's lip, the teeth are clenched in gall;
He pounds with cruel violence his foot upon the ball.
And now the keeper guesses left, but then he twitches right,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's might.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and children skip and roll;
But there is no joy in World Cup — mighty Casey missed the goal.

My Car

2006-05-07T21:11:00.000-04:00

Here is a great shot of the Uni Mobile, my 2001 Aztek, loaded with unicycles. In this picture, you can see some of the many unicycles squeezed into the back. In all, there were nine or ten, with room to spare.

Bicycles

2006-05-07T21:06:00.000-04:00

I have been uni'ing since I was 13, 26 years ago. I had this cool bike before then, but after I discovered uni'ing, I pretty much let the bike rust. After we gave it away, I never went the way of my friends, who were all getting 21-speeds. Instead, I got another Schwinn uni (a 24"), and later, a giraffe.

In high school, my brother and I rode around after school on our unis. I did errands and got to places either on a uni or by bus. There was no need for a bike, and street-riding is not much to look forward to. Both of us attended the same college, which has a pretty insular feel. There were few streets running thru any of the places we wanted to go. So we still went bike-less.

After college, we eventually discovered larger wheel sizes, so now we really didn't need bikes. In fact, I worked for 4 years, till I was 30, at a school close by, so I uni'ed to work every day. When I took a job across town, I decided to get a bike, but as fate would have it, it got stolen, and so did its replacement. Eventually I figured out a way to own a bike without having to worry about it being stolen: I never rode it, except when I took my little daughter for rides.

7 years ago, I took a job in Brooklyn. Initially I took the subway everyday, but one day I decided to go by Coker, and since then, I have commuted to work on a Coker or guni for the past 5 years. And that bike that I had finally got stolen last year. I didn't notice for about 6 months. Apparently I'd left it outside.

All in all, I've ridden a bike regularly for only two of the last 26 years. I own over a dozen unis but no bikes other than a couple Super Trick Cycles and a tandem that I got on the cheap.

John bought a bike a few years back, and I was shocked. He might as well announced that he was taking up smoking or voting Republican. I've since made peace with his decision, but I'm much happier knowing that he unicycles much more than he bikes. Somehow it just feels better.

12:35

2006-05-05T22:30:00.000-04:00

I rode around the Prospect Park bike loop in 12 mins, 35 secs last night, 7 seconds faster than my previous best. Later I calculated that riding 20 mph for 7 seconds comes out to about 100 feet. But still, it was only 7 seconds.

It's impossible to imagine that I could ever beat 12 minutes. I was huffing and puffing, breathing steadily the whole time and pushing myself to ride as fast as I could thruout the ride. I could have gone a bit faster on some of the flat parts, and I didn't set a new record for maximum speed, so presumably I could have gone a bit faster on the downhills, too, but it's hard to envision a way that I could go 4% faster for the whole ride.

Actually, 4% doesn't sound that impossible, does it?

I noticed during this latest ride that altho I didn't feel as fast on the downhills, I felt quite speedy on the long uphill. Perhaps that means that for long races, you win by attacking the uphills more than by attacking the downhills.

It's worth noting that I'm averaging over 15 mph for these rides, which is a fairly strong clip, but 4% isn't asking too much, is it?

Qu-Ax, Qu-Ax

2006-04-30T22:14:00.000-04:00

I just bought a racing unicycle (which I will NOT be referring to as a 'runi'). It came from a member of the club who bought it recently and then quickly decided it wasn't practical for him. He only rode it five or six times.

The unicycle is a Qu-Ax brand 26", but it's made so that a thin tire allows it to meet the maximum racing dimensions. The rim and the tire are really thin (less than an inch in width), and the wheel is made to withstand really high pressure (it's at 110 psi). It feels like I'm riding on wheelchair rubber. That's great for a racing uni but not good for a ride-around-town unicycle. I'd be afraid to go up or down a curb on it. It's really light (I was told it's only about 8 pounds), and I'll make it lighter still by chopping off part of the seat post.

I only race a few days a year (at the annual convention), but I've always been envious of those who have really nice racing cycles. I've always done ok on whatever I rode in the past, which was usually either the 24" cheapo uni of mine or a slightly better unicycle that I might borrow from a friend. It's not that there are a lot of competitors in my age group. Many of the guys in the 30-39 enjoy competition for its own sake, as is true in any age category, but my group is a lot less competitive than the younger bucks. However, I've always liked racing, and ever since I was a kid, I've always done pretty well. This unicycle will only contribute to that. I'm curious to see what happens when I race in Tennessee this summer. I'll be racingnot only against my peers but also against my previous best times. Interestingly, I've actually gotten faster as I've gotten older, probably because my balance has improved and because I've done a great deal of riding lately (in my daily commuting), so my legs are probably a bit stronger.

In the meantime, I'll practice riding it at the Tomb so that I can work on my technique.

My Racing Unicycle

2006-04-27T20:52:00.000-04:00

This afternoon I bought a racing unicycle. I was the beneficiary of someone else's decision that racing isn't for everyone. He bought this uni recently and only took it for a few rides before he realized that he should have spent his money on something more practical. So is a racing uni practical for me? Well, I do race every summer (since 2001) at the annual uni conventions, so... uh... sorta. And I had been talking recently with a few club members about what to look for in a racing unicycle. I had also brought this up with master unicycle builder Tommi Miller of Indiana. We didn't get too far in our talks, but he did instruct me about some key points.

This unicycle has a Qu-Ax brand frame and some light cranks and plastic pedals. The unicycle weighs about 8 lbs (17 kg), which is really light for a uni. It has a super-thin rim, and the tire, which is equally thin, gets inflated to an extremely high 110 psi, which means that it's like a band of solid rubber. The spokes were quite loose, so my new uni is sleeping tonight in the bike shop near school. I'll pick it up tomorrow afternoon, but I can't give it a real test drive until the NYUC meets again. Grant's Tomb has a really long, smooth section that's ideal for racing (that is, once the twigs have been swept to one side).

My First Unicycle Club

2006-04-27T19:40:00.000-04:00

Joe Merrill and I started the NYUC in early 2001 after we realized that New York needed a unicycle club. Later we found out that there had been one back in the mid-1980s. I believe that John Foss (he's one of my links) started it. But as it turns out, I actually started two unicycle clubs in New York before that. The current NYUC is my third unicycle club!

My second club was not too interesting except for my partner. It was at Fieldston High, and I decided to ask my school for $100 to pay for a unicycle and some juggling equipment. My partner, Cindy Friedman, was the juggler, and I taught kids to unicycle. We never had too many people join us, so we hung out with those who did and worked on our respective hobbies. Cindy went on to change her name to Cindy Marvel after college and became one of the best jugglers in the world, earning honors for being the only woman ever chosen as Juggler of the Year by the International Juggler's Association.

But my first club started a few years earlier still. I had started riding in 1980 at the age of 13 1/2. Within a few years, I had influenced many of my friends to get unicycles. My brother started riding in late 1980 at the age of 10. His friends joined in, too. By 1982 or 1983, there were at least 7 members of the group. We bought tee shirts and had them fashioned with iron-on letters that read HELL ON WHEEL. I'd love to find an old photo of our gang, but I'm not sure one exists. The group consisted of me and John as well as my good friends Russell, Paul, and Ben, and John's friends Jean-Christophe and at least one other. In addition to our shirts (blue, with red letters), we wore white shorts and white sneakers. We all had Schwinn 20" unicycles, many of them bought at Angelo's Bikes or Bicycle Renaissance, both of which were then located on 83rd Street off Columbus.

We used to get together of a Saturday and ride from my mom's apartment (81st and CPW) into the park. Often we'd spend time watching and getting to know the performers who put out a hat at the Metropolitan Museum of Art (just across town). Occasionally we'd knock over a bank.

No, that's a lie. We didn't even pretend to be cool. We just liked hanging out and being a bit geeky together.

10% Faster

2006-04-25T19:35:00.000-04:00

I've pedaled over 4,000 miles on my Cokers but only about 720 on my guni. That's still enough, however, for me to say that the guni is about 10% faster, if not even more.

I'm basing this on my commutes home and on my park loop racing. On my Coker, the commute used to take at least 25 minutes. 24 was a rarity, and 23 never happened, even with shorter cranks. Then last week, I rode home in 20.5 minutes on the guni. Part of it was that I'd chosen a better route, allowing me longer straightaways that more than made up for the extra two tenths of a mile in distance. Even though there is a considerable climb in each direction, which favors a unicycle like a Coker, my legs are now strong enough to handle the elevation so that I can accomplish the entire ride in high gear.

I also noticed that I was able to pedal around the Prospect Park bike loop in just over 13 minutes, which is quite a bit faster than the fastest speed on my Coker. I think that I could break 12 minutes now that I have greater confidence on the guni.

Riding in the Rain

2006-04-23T18:53:00.000-04:00

I decided to ride to my tutoring students this morning (rather than drive) despite fairly steady rain. Why? I guess I felt that I needed the exercise. And I figured that I'd be fine if I wore nylon waterproof pants over my shorts and a nylon raincoat over my tee-shirt. I failed to take into account two things. Firstly, the rain rolling off my pants was enough to soak my socks and sneakers (even if I hadn't ridden thru some huge puddles that were up to my pedals), and secondly, 'waterproof' should really be called 'water resistant.'

When I arrived at my first student's house, my shirt was a tad moist, mainly in the chest area, so I assumed that rain had gotten in where my coat was open. My student's father put my socks and sneakers in the dryer (the sneakers on a special rack), but 45 minutes wasn't enough to dry them out much, especially as I had forgotten to wring out the drenched socks.

My students are only a few blocks apart, so I was none the worse for the short trip, and anyway the rain had nearly stopped. But it resumed in earnest during our lesson, so that when I left, the rain was a pretty much coming down in pails (if not buckets). By the time I arrived home about 25 minutes later, my clothes were completely soaked despite the rain gear, my socks were tattooed to my feet, and my sneakers looked liked they'd been dunked in a tank. That last bit was pretty much the case, really, due to two six-inch-deep puddles that I hit in short succession as I neared home. The puddles were so deep that they caused unplanned dismounts (UPDs), my feet landing in small lakes each time.

I was still changing out of my togs when people started to arrive for the open house. I guess driving would have been a better idea today after all.

22 MPH

2006-04-19T12:37:00.000-04:00

Last night, I hit 22 mph on my guni, according to my very reliable cycle computer. My GPS watch only showed a top speed of 20.4, but it tends to miss those small bursts of speed that the cyclo catches. Even 20.4 is impressive to me because it means that I was able to maintain that speed for a short while.

I rode around Prospect Park in record time: 13.20 or so for the 3.35 miles of the course, averaging 14.8 mph for the ride. I kept the uni in high gear even for the heavy-duty uphill part -- I think that downshifting would have slowed me down considerably -- and could not have gone much faster, but I'm sure I can get the time under 13 minutes. I'll give it another try this evening.

I can tell you one thing: That ride wore me out! When it was over, I went for another 3.5 miles over a different route, and most of that time I could barely manage 10 mph. My watch is programmed to chirp if my speed goes below 10, so after my super fast ride, the rest of my exercise was punctuated by the unpleasant reminder of my own exhaustion. My watch is also programmed to alert me if I ever exceed 20 mph, but I didn't hear it due to the volume of my iPod combined with the rush of the wind. Bummer. I did want to hear that sound. I'll have to try for that one again today!

Switching Gears Made Easy

2006-04-16T21:38:00.000-04:00

I finally learned the best way to switch gears on my guni.

Up till yesterday, I had found it fairly simple to shift up into high gear on the new hub. Because it has 12 internal gears, it takes no more than a twelfth of a rotation before the gear kicks in (the first-generation hub, with six gears, took upto twice as far before the gear shifted). Shifting into high gear means shifting when the wheel is rotating fairly slowly; I've always found it much easier. In recent weeks, I could upshift about 95% of the time.

Downshifting, on the other hand, has always given me difficulties -- that is, up until yesterday. Initially the hard part was that on the original hub, shifting of any sort was considerably harder (and not just 'twice' as difficult) because the free-wheeling often resulted in the cranks being in a poor position. The other problem was that I started using pedals with pins.

Pinned pedals are fairly crucial for geared unicycles. They make up for the fact that the wheel takes so long to get around, leaving the rider more vulnerable to UPDs. The problem is that pinned pedals also make it really hard to swivel your foot at just the right moment in order to knock the button with your ankle.

So the revelation for me was that I could hit the button with my ankle bone rather than with the inside rear part of my sneaker. What I learned to do yesterday was to lean my foot inwards and to let the button smear my ankle as it passes. This turns out to be necessary only for downshifting because I can easily upshift the 'old' way. Also, I tried smearing into an upshift and fount that it was painful to my left ankle.

After the accidental discovery, I was able to shift on alternate half-turns and to downshift successfully about 90% or more with only one UPD.

Next, I worked on shifting at various speeds. Earlier, using my GPS watch, I had found that I could upshift at about 7-8 mph. Yesterday I was able to upshift at about that speed or just under, and I was also able to downshift at up to 6 mph, a huge change from earlier riding, where I almost had to stop in order to do so.

To me, this was huge. I can now look forward to shifting with ease in order to suit the conditions. It also means that I can shift rather than looking for something to hold onto or having to ride in a small, jerky circle in high gear.

I look forward to riding home tomorrow to test out my shifting.

The GPS Watch: Lessons Learned

2006-04-14T21:46:00.000-04:00

I've had the GPS watch for about a week and have logged about 50 miles on my geared unicycle while using it. Here is what I know now about the guni (and the watch):

GUNI
1. It's far faster to ride up even the steepest hills in high gear on my guni than to switch back and forth between high and low gears. This is probably because it's hard for me to downshift, so I lose time trying, and because when I'm in low gear, the guni becomes nothing more than a heavy (and high-priced) 29" uni. In high gear, on the other hand, even slow pedaling can keep me going at least 7 mph.

2. I can ride uphill faster than I thought. This morning I decided to ride to a student's house in high gear the whole way. There is a steep hill that levels off only a bit and goes on for nearly a mile. I was able to maintain about 8-12 mph depending on the grade and the traffic.

3. Riding downhill, I hit 15 or 16 mph, which is a little dangerous considering the conditions. I could have attained higher speeds, but that would have been too dangerous.

4. Perhaps motivated a bit by the watch, and definitely because of the speed of the guni, I achieved new records for my trip to Packer from home (23 minutes, a few minutes faster than my previous fast times on the Coker) and for my trip to that student's house (11.5 minutes rather than the 13-15 it usually takes me)

WATCH
Some times, it takes a minute or so for the watch to locate the satellite. It depends on where I'm standing and whether I'm standing still. I've decided to have it show me the current speed, elapsed time, distance covered, and my max speed. That last category is a bit odd because there is a large disparity between the watch and the computer on this reading. I've noticed that the cycle computer usually has a reading 10-20% higher than the watch, but it's hard to know which one to trust more. A speed reached for a fraction of a second may not be worth as much as one that's been held for a few seconds.

GETTING SET TO GO
Ironically, altho I'm using it to measure my speed, it slows me down if I wait for the thing to kick in before riding. I also have to reset the cycle computer on my uni (that only takes a few seconds) and, if I want music, I have to set up my iPod. Of course I also need my helmet and wrist guards, so in all, it can take me 2-4 minutes to get ready.

The watch cost a bit over $200 and is worth every penny.

My GPS Watch

2006-04-07T15:39:00.001-04:00

This week I ordered myself a GPS watch on eBay (saving $50 on buying it from the company's website).

Do I need a GPS watch? Of course, just like a fish needs a bicycle (or a unicycle, for that matter).

But it's fun. It's nice to compete with myself while riding over the same course on my commute, and I like knowing how fast I'm going at a given moment. Cycle computers can tell you average speed and maximum speed, but it's impossible to check the current speed on a cycle computer while you're unicycling because looking down is a lot more dangerous than looking at your watch. And in my case, even looking down does not help because the computer is under the seat and out of view.

The GPS watch is pretty thick and clunky. For comparison, I laid it next to my normal watch. The GPS is roughly the same size but is much thicker. It makes it hard for me to wear my wrist guards, but I manage. The only annying thing is how long it take for the watch to locate the satellite, but it never takes more than a minute if I stay put.

I found out one thing: The GPS watch isn't as accurate as I'd expected. Although it frequently receives the signal from the satellite, it often misses little bursts of speed. So when I want to know the true maximum speed, I rely on the cycle computer.

Photos of Queen Gunivere

2006-04-07T14:44:00.000-04:00

Some time ago I named my geared unicycle "Queen Gunivere" as a joke. But I never got around to taking pictures of her. Here she is in all her glory.

Maybe not 'all her glory,' but there you go. You can also see the hub, which is much fatter than normal hubs on account of the many little parts housed within. The hubs have serial numbers, and mine is #80.

You can just make out the gold button on the side of the hub. That's where the magic happens. I have to wonk that button with my left ankle in order to change gears while I'm riding. If I decide to downshift, I hit the button on the other side of the hub with my right ankle.

Speed Stats

2006-04-03T15:25:00.001-04:00

On my Coker, the fastest I've ever gone, according to my cycle computer, is 21 mph. That seemed really really fast. It was a speed I could only maintain for a short time because the hill was leveling out and because I was holding back a bit -- it's never good to go as fast as you can because then you can't speed up for a second if you suddenly lean a bit too far forward. The nice thing about a Coker is that the heavy wheel creates its own special 'flywheel' effect that keeps you pretty balanced. In other words, it wasn't too much work to get the uni up to the speed or to maintain that speed for a short time.

On my guni with the original hub, I once got it up to 22 mph. That's really really really fast. The difference is that on a guni, you create a wheel with a large 'effective' size but your pedals (and therefore your feet) are still pretty low to the ground. The bad news is that if you suddenly lurch forward (like if you hit a dip or a bump in the road), your feet have less time to get into position, and you have a pretty good chance of having a hard fall. In fact, I had a weird spill like that three years ago while testing Greg Harper's fixed-gear unicycle (a 24" uni that rode like a 36") called "uni.5." I was riding uni.5 uphill one day when I suddenly lost balance and leaned too far forward. Normally I'd have run out the UPD, but this time I found myself toppling to the ground. If that happened to me on the 29" guni (that rides like a 45" unicycle), I could find myself in a heap pretty fast.

With the new hub, I've only put in a relatively small number of miles: 40. With more practice on the guni, I should be hitting 20 mph on a downhill again soon. More importantly, I can maintain a higher rate on the guni than on the 36" Coker...at least on downhills and flats. Uphill or on bumpy roads, or riding in pedestrian or car traffic, the Coker wins easily.

The other thing I've noticed is that the guni feels like it has a lot of drag. That's because it's harder to get that wheel going due to the inertia of the higher gear. It's easy (but fairly slow) to ride it as a 29" uni in 1-to-1 gear, but when I shift into high gear, it's like swimming with flippers on: You can go really fast, but you have to put in a lot of muscle to do so.

GUNI Repair Report

2006-04-03T15:25:00.000-04:00

Well, it turned out to be a lot simpler than I'd expected.

For reasons owing to the unique design of this hub, I thought that the cranks were attached a lot differently, or at least that one of the cranks was somehow connected to the hub while the other was not. So when I was at the bikeshop and the mechanic and I couldn't remove one of the hub's outer buttons, we never assumed that we had to play more with that button.

Yesterday I handed the guni over to Dave Bagley, the only other guni owner on the East Coast (he's from Joisey -- are you from Joisey?). He admitted that the button over the loose crank was a bit stuck, but once he got it off, the rest of the job was a piece of cake -- just a few turns of a wrench and the crank was tight again.

Apparently there was something wrong with the first crank I had -- or maybe it was simply not tightened enough. Anyway, Dave had an extra set of cranks, so he gave them to me -- just to be safe. We put them on in place of my cranky cranks.

Since then, I haven't really tested the guni more than to ride it around a bit at the club. In an hour, I'll ride home (less than 5 miles). Given the fact that I'm not staying at my mom's any longer (the paint job on our house is almost complete), I won't be riding Queen Gunivere for more than 9 miles a day (whereas last week I was riding it about 20 miles a day). At that rate, I won't know how well the crank is staying on for a few weeks, but I'm confident that it's going to last for some time AND that if it does loosen, I will be able to fix it on my own!

Return (and Returning?) of the Guni

2006-03-31T16:02:00.000-05:00

Back in October, my geared unicycle began having problems. On several occasions it slipped out of geared (once causing a scary fall), but worse still was the related fact that one of the crank arms was falling off. I emailed Florian and spoke with him a few times in Switzerland, and I tried repairing things on my own and with the help of fellow NYUC club member (and fellow guni owner) Dave Bagley, but finally we realized that there was no way to fix this unicycle's hub.

Florian had been working on an improved hub at this time, so rather than trying to fix my hub or sending me a replacement, he generously decided to give updated hubs to all owners of 1st generation hubs. These newer models have 12 internal pins rather than 6, and this means that the hub can switch into gear more smoothly. It took nearly six months for the updated hub to arrive, and it finally showed up last week [Florian had broken his arm and had gone to Laos on a unicycle tour, adding to the delay.]

Once the hub arrived, I tried to rebuild the wheel (putting all of the spokes back on the rim), but my two attempts failed. Rebuilding a wheel is a Zen art, and I'm not even a Zen grasshopper when it comes to truing a wheel, let alone building one from scratch. So I paid a bike mechanic $35 for the job, and, as of Wednesday afternoon, was on my way. Sure enough, the shifting was nearly seamless. I was able to make transitions from low to high gear and back with little difficulty. I rode it to Brooklyn and back to my mom's apartment on the Upper West Side (a trip of about 8.5 miles each way) twice, logging a total of about 36 miles on it until just an hour ago when I realized that one of the crank arms is loose.

The loose arm is on the downshift-button side. That is the same thing that happened to me last time, if I'm not mistaken. Luckily for me, a fellow member of the NYUC also has a guni from Florian, so he may be able to fix this when I see him tomorrow. If not, I'll have to disassemble the wheel again (that's a lot easier than building it!) and send the newer hub back to Switzerland.

Emmett Pushes the Stroller

2006-03-25T07:11:00.000-05:00

Emmett has been learning to unicycle for a long time, but he's only recently gotten to the point where he can stay up without much support. In fact, when he first started, he was unable to ride even when holding a bar on either side. That's pretty common for a young rider who doesn't yet have the stomach muscles or coordination required for unicycling. More recently he has been able to ride while holding only a single rail, and it is clear that he is on the verge of getting it.

I realized that one of the best ways to learn is to push something in front of you. Strollers work great, as do shopping carts. On the day this photo was taken, Emmett and Maeve had accompanied me to the uni club. Earlier in the day, Emmett has been complaining that he didn't want to keep trying to unicycle -- it was too hard. After the club, he couldn't wait to try again and was really proud that he had become a unicylist. Go Emmett!!!

My License Plate and My Jewish Identity

2006-03-11T23:34:00.000-05:00

So I've never told you the story about my license plate? My 2001 Red Aztek with the UNICYCLE plate? Well, then, read on.

We bought our car in 2001 thinking that it would come in handy when we moved to Brooklyn (and it did). Initially it had a normal license plate (actually, that's protocol -- you can't just start with the vanity plate). Then Shirra and I settled on a cute vanity plate: QTP2T.

Too cute.

It wasn't long* before I realized that this plate didn't suit a car being driven primarily by a dude, so I went back to the website where you can order a new license plate. UNICYCLE wasn't available, but UN1CYCLE, UNACYCLE, and UNICYCL3 were. I decided on the version with the 1 in it. There was something wrong with my Internet order, however, so I phoned the department and found out that you need to have had your newly-issued license plate for at least *three weeks. The woman I spoke to told me that UN1CYCLE was still available. As a lark, I mentioned that I had actually been after UNICYCLE instead but that it hadn't been available. "It is now," she said.

Those three words changed my life.

Actually, that's just a joke. I doubt those were her very words, and certainly my life is no different now, but I know that whatever she said, it made me feel extremely lucky.

But I had forgotten to consider one thing: Why was the UNICYCLE plate suddenly available? When I posted about my great fortune to the unicyclist.com forum, one of the respondents (John Foss) wrote back to tell me that the previous owner of the plate (an older gentleman named Ken Britton from Canandaigua, NY) must have either decided to relinquish the plate ... or died. Gulp. Isn't that so typical for a Jew? I can enjoy my happy news only if I remember the pain and suffering in the world.

But then, there is the joke about Morty who visits Saul in the hospital. Saul tells of a terrible illness and how it has puzzled his doctors while ravaging his health, but all Morty keeps telling him is, "It coulda bin voyss." Exasperated by his friend's uncaring refrain, Saul finally asks how things could be worse. Morty explains, "It coulda bin me." So I hope that Ken has simply decided he doesn't need UNICYCLE, but if he did have to die so that I could get it, I'm sorry to hear it -- but I'm still glad that I got the plate.

Schmutz Wednesday

2006-03-01T16:05:00.000-05:00

Growing up, and specifically: growing up Jewish, I never learned what Ash Wednesday was. From 2nd thru 8th grade, however, I went to a French school (Fleming) founded by a Catholic woman and populated by a relatively high percentage of Catholic students and teachers. Once a year, I'd see some of my fellow students sporting black streaks on their foreheads, but as soon as the day was over, I'd forget all over again so that come the following year, it was me reaching to some friend's noggin to wipe away the blot that I assumed had more to do with a marker than with religious fervor.

High school and college didn't change this, and by early adulthood, I was playing the same tune. Once a year, I'd find myself generously offering to wipe clean some friend's face only to be reminded yet again that it was Ash Wednesday. It's funny how you go from nice person ("Here, let me get that schmutz off your forehead") to putz ("No! It's Ash Wednesday!") so quickly. 364 days a year, you're doing someone a favor ("Hey, you've got a little newsprint stain right there"), but once a year, you've outed yourself as a religious moron. I guess it's the equivalent of the non-Jews who wish us a happy Yom Kippur on the Jewish holyday of atonement. Speaking of which: At least I didn't wish anyone a happy Lent today.

So, thanks for putting up with us on this special Wednesday. We'll always forgive you for mispronouncing Hannukah if you continue to forgive us for trying to clean that schmutz off your face.

My Next Unicycle

2006-02-20T11:44:00.000-05:00

We all have a 'next unicycle.'

About 8 or 9 years ago, my 'next unicycle' was decided for me by some guy who zoomed past while I was walking around my old nabe. [Is this even true? Why would I have been walking in my old neighborhood? Anyway,...] I told the guy that I'd never seen a wheel that large; it was a Semcycle 26" uni, and until then, the largest size most of us had ridden was a Schwinn 24" unicycle. The 26" was a revelation. The additional height of the wheel was less than a 10% change, but it felt like more, and suddenly I was speeding along my errands.

My brother went one step further. Over my protestations that it would be too large to control, he bought a Semcycle 28" uni. Wow. That thing really rode! He easily outstripped me on that huge wheel of his, and before long, I was kicking myself for having gone up only two inches when I could have added four. But soon, John realized that even the 28" was too small. He had been surfing the web and had discovered the nascent world of Cokers.

Back in the early 1990s, the idea of riding a 36" unicycle was a bit preposterous. It seemed like a good idea only for people riding really long distances on ground that was mostly level and smooth -- certainly not the typical conditions of NYC. And riding a Coker on a sidewalk seemed dangerous for both the unicyclist and pedestrians. But John went and ordered one anyway. I borrowed his 28" and made plans to get my own until I tried out his Coker a few times. Not only was it fast and maneuverable once you got used to it, but it was also safe for sidewalk riding as long as you took precautions. So it was not long before I, too, had to have a Coker. Within a few years, I'd gone from owning three unicycles (the 24" Schwinn I rode everywhere, a 20" Schwinn giraffe, and that old 20") to having a veritable plethora of one-wheeled vehicles. Currently I have these cycles:

* freestyle 20" with carbon-composite seat
* that old Schwinn giraffe (1982)
* ultimate wheel (24")
* ultimate wheel (26")
* impossible wheel (20")
* trials (20")
* Coker (36")
* Coker deluxe wheel with Wyganofsky extension (handle)
* privately-made 46" uni
* "Spin Cycle (20"), same maker
* Semcycle 28"
* Torker 24"
* 12"
* 16" (Emmett's current uni)
* 20" trials (Fiona's)
* 20" Torker (Fiona's 10th bday present!)
* 29" Schlumpf geared uni
... and I also have three Super Trick Cycles and a bunch of incomplete unis. Oh, and a tandem bicycle (but not a regular bike. It was stolen).

And yet I need at least one more. After all, how am I going to ride around my new property if I don't have a mountain unicycle. So after we move (and if I think I can afford it), I'm going to get myself a nice little starter muni. But after that, I don't think I'll need another unicycle for some time. But then again, who knows?

Queer Eye for the Straight Unicyclist

2006-02-09T23:07:00.000-05:00

This month marks the second anniversary of my biggest tv-related disappointment: I was passed over for an appearance on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

I applied when the show was about at its hottest, so I was thrilled when I got called in for an interview. I went to a quiet space on East 22nd Street where some shows were holding auditions. A few guys were before me, but they were done fast. When it was my turn, the interviewer mentioned a few items from my application that had immediately grabbed her interest: I was a judge at the Miss Fire Island drag queen contest? How did THAT happen? We talked about that for awhile, both of us imagining how it might work with the Queer Eye guys, and then she asked me about unicycling. I had had to submit a photo of myself, so I chose the one where I'm pushing my older two in the stroller. We also talked about Shirra (who was pregnant at the time -- maybe that could work in the show), my clothes, my house, and so forth.

A few weeks later, I got another call, this time setting up a home interview. This was a big deal, because of the 700+ applicants per week, only a small handful get to this level -- perhaps a dozen. Right away my chances for getting onto the show were magnified a hundredfold. The home interview went swimmingly, too -- I even demonstrated my unicycling for the pair of interviewers (a young man and woman), and when it was over, they told me that I would be notified by phone if I were chosen for the show. If I didn't hear from them, that was good news, too -- it would mean that I was still in the running. The only bad news I could get is if they sent me a "Dear John" e-mail. This was in early October of 2003.

Months went by. I lost e-mail service at school one day and realized that if they tried to contact me with bad news, their e-mail would bounce back, so I called my contact at the show. She reassured me that I was not only still in the running but that the producers had just that day gone over my application and had decided to keep me in the pool a bit longer. I kept my fingers mogen-davided (that's what Jews do -- no 'fingers crossed' for us).

Then one day in February, 2004, I heard a ping on my school computer. I was on the phone with Shirra at the time. I looked at the screen and saw the sender's address: info@queereye.com. I knew it was the "Dear Straight Guy" letter. That was a big downer.

For months after, I kept hoping they'd reconsider (or run out of guys) and call me. Or that the producer would say that I was perfect for some other show they were trying to populate. Or....

I haven't been able to watch the show since. I don't experience too many sadnesses in life, and this certainly isn't one, but as much as it makes for an interesting story, it certainly was one of the biggest bummers of my life.

Usin' the Ol' Helmet

2006-02-09T00:07:00.000-05:00

On my Coker ride home this evening, I was having fun with my usual boring parkside route by treating it like a monster muni course. I rode around every available obstacle (trees, lampposts, etc) and decided to ride on the cobblestone skirt of the path rather than the smoother sidewalk. In part, this was a challenge, but it also seemed like a great way to add some more muscle -- riding on cobblestones takes a lot out of a guy.

Cobblestones are wonky.

Suddenly I lost balance and began to lurch forward. I jumped off and tried to run it out but realized I'd be hitting the ground, so I did one of my patented tuck-and-roll moves. Normally I pop right back up, but this time, I was wearing my fanny pack. The pack caused me to stop my smooth somersault mid-roll, and I ended up smashing my helmet really hard on the pavement.

The fanny pack served one purpose (protect my spine in case of emergency) but caused a problem. I'm not sure how to resolve this one. And I need a new helmet light; the old one was smashed to pieces. My head seems ok, tho.

This was the first time I'd ever really smashed my head on the ground -- the first time I was really thankful for my helmet.

The Time I Got Hit by That Bus

2006-02-01T09:19:00.000-05:00

I apparently forgot to tell you about the time I got hit by a bus while unicycling.

"Hit" is a bit too strong -- perhaps "grazed." Maybe "brushed." The only part of my life that flashed before my very eyes was the stuff that was going on at that moment.

I was pedaling to school earlier than usual one morning but found myself needing to pick up a few minutes, so after I left the park, I decided to ride down Flatbush Ave, one of the most dangerous cycling streets in New York. Back then I rode mostly in the street because I hadn't switched to the longer cranks and therefore had less control for sidewalk riding than I do now. As usual I was in the far right lane. In fact, this lane was still packed with parked cars, but they were all a little bit further down the road. Suddenly I heard what sounded like two cars hitting their brakes and smashing together. I felt a little flick at my elbow, but it was the noise that made me hop off my unicycle. It took me about 50 feet to stop because I was going fast downhill; when I turned around, I realized that a small schoolbus that had been (illegally) in my lane had swerved to avoid me and had smashed into a small car. No one was hurt.

I looked at my elbow, and sure enough, there was a tiny flap of loose, dry skin, only a few layers deep; no blood, no bruise, no pain. I concentrated my next few minutes calmly chewing out the bus driver. He had been speeding along and had tried to pass other drivers by using the parked car lane. He swerved when he saw me; it was his side-view mirror that nicked me.

His bus was a bit banged up, as was the car he'd side-swiped. The driver of that car, an EMT, kept the calmest of the three of us. After I'd sarcastically explained certain laws to the driver, he got really red in the face, trying to act as tho I shouldn't have been riding in the street. The irony wasn't lost on me: Curmudgeonly pedestrians are always telling me to get off the sidewalk, and this idiot was telling me to get off the street.

Police came an hour later (so much for me saving time on my way to work!) and took our statements. As usual, they had no idea what the laws say about unicycles, so I didn't find them too helpful. They certainly didn't seem to take my side. They also didn't take the bus driver's alcohol level -- something that makes no sense given that he had been driving dangerously according to two other people. When I was involved in a fender-bender in Wales, the police gave me a Breathalizer test (and found that I had too little alcohol in my system -- I drink about a half glass of wine per year).

Normally I would have been all over this driver legally. I should have called up his company and explained what he had done and called his school district and told them that he looked drunk when he hit me, and so on. But for some reason, I held back, and eventually I lost the information and by the time I found it, the accident was deep in the past.

This happened in about 2002, and it made me feel very lucky. Had the bus driver swerved a few milliseconds later, I would have been knocked around by his mirror. I might have landed in traffic and been killed. And Shirra would be a widowed mother of two rather than a wife and mother of three. So that day has always been a turning point for me. I declared that the rest of my life would hereby be 'icing' and that I would try to relax and enjoy it. I didn't complete stop to smell the roses, but I slowed down enough to pick up some of their scent.

Pigeons and My Happy Life

2006-01-31T21:09:00.000-05:00

While unicycling along the sidewalk today, I got brushed by a low-flying pigeon that made me think about how lucky my life has been.

Of course, that wasn't my first thought. As the bird's wings flapped wildly but gently against my chest, the first thing that went thru my mind was, "Whoa, a pigeon is flapping its wings wildly but gently on my chest." My next impulse was to check if it had left a present on my sweater (it hadn't). And then came the onslaught of unpredictable mental activity, as follows:

grazed by pigeon ...while unicycling
I was grazed by a bus once
...while unicycling
NY Yankee Dave Winfield once killed a pigeon accidentally
Shirra loves Dave Winfield
We met him on our 1990 'baseball trip' to Chicago
That trip solidified our feelings towards each other
We got married 3 years later
If that bus hadn't swerved in time, I'd have been killed
...and Maeve would not have been born
...Boy am I a lucky guy...

I enjoy trains of thought of this sort. They're like mental vacations, except that you're not sure where they're going.

I also like looking at something in the past that had to happen in order for your life to turn out the way it did. In my life, that's easy: If I hadn't gone into a particular clothing store back in 1989, my life would have turned out completely differently.

Train of events:
Enter clothing store, called Montmartre. They had nice sweaters in the window.
Chat in French with saleswoman...
who talks me into staying in Cannes rather than Nice on my upcoming six-week trip to France...
where I met a German woman named Tina...
who asked me six months later to show her friends around New York...
after which I went into a comic book store on 92nd and Broadway...
outside of which I ran into Shirra, an old college flame...
who later encouraged my love of teaching (rather than my struggles with pre-med classes)...
and with whom I have a great life that includes three wonderful kids.

I don't know how my life would have turned out otherwise, but I think the odds are that it wouldn't have been as happy. Shirra was a helluva catch, and it took me a couple years to get my act together as a contributing parent after Emmett was born. I think that if I hadn't seen those nice sweaters, I'd be a divorced ad exec going to every Vassar reunion in hopes of running into that cute girl from Raymond dorm.

Don't hesitate to enter that store with nice sweaters in the window. You never know where it might take you.

Unicycling as Chess

2006-01-24T13:04:00.001-05:00

When I was a teenager, I began to get pretty interested in chess. I'd been playing games against my dad for years and steadily getting better, but once I hit my teens, I also began reading books on chess tactics. And once I got to high school, I began to realize that chess can teach us about life: Both involve planning ahead several moves and always weighing your options. And in both cases, when you make a mistake, you learn from it and then try again. I think that all teenagers should be encouraged to take up chess.

At 13, I also started getting heavily into unicycling, but it wasn't until many years later that I realized the connection. Again, you have to plan ahead several moves, and if you make a mistake, you learn from it and try again. The only real difference is that chess is about attacking your opponent by colliding one piece into another. With unicycling, you try to AVOID colliding with anything!

When I ride on the street, I'm like the queen in chess, able to move in all directions as far as I want. All around me are slower-moving pieces around which I have to navigate. Some of these pieces have fairly immutable patterns. That old lady who just passed a store on her left probably isn't going to make a sudden turn towards the street on her right, tho there is a small probability that she'll stop and go back towards the store; I'll pass on her right. Some pieces are unpredictable. This kid on a trike might stop or might turn quickly to either side; I'll slow down until I have a clearer idea.

Sometimes I have to make split-second decisions, but they're always based on the same unicycle chess. Should I ride along that tiny space between the curb and the subway stairs? It depends on whether the traffic has started moving again.

I've been riding for 25+ years and have only had to apologize for bumping into someone a few times. Most times, those were harmless taps that the person didn't even notice, but one time I did bump rather hard into someone who had made a rather unexpected decision to dart to one side. Had I been running down the street rather than riding my 24" uni, the result could have been the same.

People walking with their backs to me pose almost no risk, but those walking towards me tend to get nervous and sometimes move quickly to one side. Lately I have developed a way to signal pedestrians which way I intend to veer. As I ride towards someone, I point to myself with my thumb and then to my direction with my index finger. This has worked well and allows me to ride my Coker on crowded sidewalks without incident.

This all may change after we move 'up-city.' The sidewalks are tiny or non-existent, so it remains to be seen whether I get to continue my unicycle chess. Maybe I'll have to take up unicycle leap frog.

Barbie Weekend at K-Mart

2006-01-24T09:25:00.000-05:00

Sydney, Oz, 1989

This is a piece I wrote in 1989 that I just rediscovered last week. It actually ran in "Honi Soit," the newspaper of the University of Sydney, under my pseudonym, Ned K DaVisto. Altho it has nothing to do with unicycling, I thought you'd enjoy:

Day 2

I sit on a borrowed director's chair across from three fold-out tables piled with Barbie dolls (and accessories) and Disney toys. I am doing a three-day demo for Mattel. There is a TV and video system set-up promoting Knit Magic, a clever and relatively inexpensive knitting machine that makes clothes for Fun-to-Dress Barbie. Nearby, I have arranged the machine with some thread already running through it. About half the people who try it out absentmindedly turn the handle the wrong way, ruining the stitch. Short of standing up and hovering over the apparatus, there is no way I can prevent this, and I am forced to re-stitch the machine. But I have become quite proficient at it; my best design so far is a hat.

People are curious about absolutely everything... or are they just incredibly bored? Grown men stop and stare at the instructional video, transfixed by the actions of a pre-pubescent girl twirling her pink plastic mechanisms. Little kids, notoriously fickle, drop whatever they are holding to pick up the closest available object; in this manner, I have acquired a small Batmobile, a beaten-up watch, and an Oscar-the-Grouch figurine. When I get up to demonstrate the doll whole clothes change colour or wind the locomotive of the Mickey Mouse train set, someone invariably examines the chair I have just vacated, noting the price and occasionally testing it for comfort. Some even fiddle with the knobs of the television set, as it it, too, were on display. And when, at the start of or close of the day, the Mattel products are back in their boxes, many closely examine the tables as well, usually to see if the legs fold easily. The only thing no-one has taken time to test is the extension cord leading from the TV to the nearby outlet; no doubt this would change if there were a price tag on it.

I am demonstrating seventeen things. Nine are Barbie-related; seven are of the Mickey Mouse genre, all aimed at pre-schoolers. Only one thing is aimed at the average 8-13 year old boy: the He-Man Powersword. When activated by one of its buttons, the plastic battery-operated sword is even louder than the video. This is a fortunate feature for a demonstrator: It helps me locate the toy when it has been "borrowed" by a noise-happy swashbuckler. Since few parents feel obligated to return it to the scene of the crime, I have to chase it down. (The farthest it has made it is three departments away from me, where a three-and-a-half-foot tall blond boy was wailing it into the stomachs of teddy bears.) Some of the boys have expressed dissatisfaction with the toys offered their sex. Thy seem compelled, though, to make the most of the display, and usually end up playing with the Disney train set, or nearly as often, the knitting machine (until their mothers remind them "that's for girls" in an effort to remove them from my area).

By far the least bored person is me. I observe everything, determined, as an American, to understand the Australian family a bit. Many things surprise me: I am surprised that Mattel doesn't mind having a man run a Barbie display. I am surprised how few little girls grab their mum's leg when I approach. I am surprised at how much more sociable young girls are than young boys. I am surprised how many girls can boast of having over a dozen Barbie dolls.

I had forgotten how much money parents spend on their kids, but then again, Chrissy is around the corner.

Final Observations, Day 2:
1. Someone has nicked my Disney Fire Trick Shape Sorter(TM). Unfortunately, it doesn't make a very loud noise; I shall probably not be able to find it.
2. Australian kids seem to have braces much less often than their American counterparts. Someone tells me this is because they are not hyper about having a "perfect" smile.
3. There is still on-one interested in Barbie Colour-Change Nails(TM).
4. Most of those who examine the TV itself are old men.

Not Gathering Moss, aka "Moving Up-City"

2006-01-23T14:54:00.000-05:00

The Stone family is on the move again.

104th St, c. $650/mo
When Shirra and I first met, we were living in Manhattan. We were both living with our parents at the time, actually, but within months I found myself in a large one bedroom apartment on 104th St just east of Broadway, and not much later, Shirra was living there, too, along with our cat, Mocha. Eventually Iggi, Krishna, and Stanky joined us. The kids came a bit later.

114th St, apt 47, $105K
Soon we moved to 114th Street, where I bought a nifty one bedroom for what seemed, at the time, like a lot of money.

...apt. 64, $140K
But before long, Shirra was pregnant, so we took our worldly possessions (except for the stuff we had left at our parents' apartments) and moved up to a pseudo-two bedroom apartment in the same building. We still owned the smaller place, but we sublet it for a couple years, making heaps of money as mini landlords.

...apt. 47 redux
Once again, Shirra got pregnant, and once again, it was time to move. The place we were planning to buy fell thru, but at the last second, we found a much nicer two bedroom on 93rd Street just west of Columbia (and for a lot less). We sold the other two apartments (having moved back to the smaller apartment for half a year), making a killing on the big one.

W. 93rd St, apt 4-F, $325K
This building had a laundry room in the basement, and I learned to wheelwalk between many loads down there. There was a kid room/lounge, too, and I worked on other skills like freemounting a giraffe (which I still can't do). World-renowned juggler Cindy Marvel, a friend of mine since high school and of Shirra's since grade school, once entertained Fiona down in that basement, juggling seven balls despite the extremely low ceilings. I started the NYUC while living in this building. At the time, I was working at the Dalton School, but after just two years there, I took the job at Packer, where I am in my 7th year. This move pretty much necessitated moving to Brooklyn, a borough I had been to only about five times before in my life. We sold this place for nearly $500K, tho of course it would be worth over a million just a few years later. New York City real estate tends to double every five years, doesn't it?

Union St and 7th Ave, above the nail salon, $2700/mo
I don't recall the exact address, maybe due to the acetone fumes that nearly choked us during the first six months of Emmett's life. We became familiar with the wonderful Park Slope Food Coop at the time, and we endured some hairy times in this apartment (like a near break-in) before finding a house in Prospect Park South, a nabe we'd never heard of until an article appeared in New York Magazine touting some cool, underpriced places to live.

Prospect Park South
We happily moved our stuff (and kids, and 4 cats) to a big house in a quiet neighborhood. We have a backyard and a driveway and lovely neighbors...but not for long.

Moving "Up-City"
We've decided to move again. It's not exactly 'up-state' because it's only just over an hour from Manhattan. So I'm calling it 'up-city.' At this point, it looks like we're heading just outside of New Paltz, but we haven't put our place on the market and certainly haven't found a place up there (nor even a town).

There were certain requirements for this move: Price, proximity, and pulchritude were all big factors, as was the educational system (for the kids) and employment (for me). We wanted to treat this move like an early retirement: Erase the credit cards, reduce or eliminate the mortgage, and live to work (rather than work to live). I really love spending time with my kids, and even tho I get to do that a lot already, I welcome the chance to do it even more. Shirra is looking forward to opening a knitting shop. I suggested a name for her shop (Funky Ulster County Knitters), but the acronym didn't appeal to her. The entire area is gorgeous, and we're hoping one day to raise alpacas on our own land. New Paltz has a great school system, but it's also appealing to have the kids attend the school where I'm working. I interviewed at a great school called Mizzentop, in Pawling, and if all goes well, I'll be teaching there next year and the kids will be attending the school.

How does all of this connect to the world of unicycling? Well, that's where the proximity comes in. We wanted to find a town within 90 minutes of Manhattan. That way I can still attend most of the NYUC meetings and the kids can still see their grandparents on a regular basis. I am planning to put a muni course down wherever we move, and I'd like to do some trials work, too, so maybe my home will become a unicyclist retreat for anyone in the area (and if you take the train, we'll pick you up, too). Now we just have to sell our house for a mint, and we'll be good to go.

Places I Have (NOT) Unicycled

2006-01-16T17:28:00.000-05:00

I have ridden a unicycle in a few different countries - but not enough for my taste.

I wasn't able to take a unicycle to Israel, Italy, or France when my family went on holidays back when I was a teen, but my brother and I were fortunate enough to take our Schwinn 20" unis to sleepaway camp, so I have ridden in Maine. And when I went to Europe for nearly 5 months in 1987, I thought (correctly, it turns out) that a unicycle would get in the way of my loosey-goosey travel plans, so I missed having a unicycle in France (again), Belgium, Sweden, and Germany, though I did manage to ride a tiny unicycle when I met a girl riding one in Denmark. Her English was no better than my Danish, so about the only thing I conveyed to her was that I could ride, which she could have figured out anyway. About the only thing she could tell me was that she was 7, which I probably could have figured out, too.

Two years later I spent two semesters studying in and traveling around Australia. As I had already graduated, my time there was not truly 'two semesters' but could be thought of instead as '10 months of following a girlfriend and not joining the real world.' Whatever view you take, I decided not to bring my 24" Schwinn (I had moved up to a 24" by then), but this time I was wrong about it getting in the way. It would have been a hoot riding around the beautiful campus of Sydney's university. They even call it Uni Sydney; I kicked myself about this every day. So, I missed riding in Australia, New Zealand, and Indonesia.

My next extensive traveling came shortly afterwards when I met Shirra. On our honeymoon to Club Med Playa Blanca, I managed to find a uni that I rode around a bit, but I would hardly say that I have ridden around Mexico, any more than a goldfish living on the Upper West Side can say that it has swum along the Hudson River.

Shirra and I globetrotted a bit in the 1990s, and we also took a few 'baseball trips' to see some of the old parks before they were torn down. But the unicycle stayed behind until our recent trip to Wales and England.

I have, however, gone to all the North American unicycle conventions since 2001, so I have ridden in Toronto, Seattle, Salt Lake City, Minneapolis, and Bowling Green (OH), and I look forward to riding in Tennessee this summer.

I also hope to take a unicycle on our future international trips, or at least to meet up with a rider in whatever country we visit, and I'll certainly be taking a few unis on trips we make as we drive around the US.

Thick Skin (Or: "Shouldn't You Be Wearing a Sweater")

2006-01-14T15:10:00.000-05:00

I've been enjoying the cool weather lately. Winter is the only time I can ride for miles and not get all sweaty. Despite the cool temps, however, I still have to be careful not to overdress. I think that this has something to do with my skin.

ELECTRO-SHOCK without the THERAPY
I've always been a one-layer-less kinda guy. Since I was a kid, I've seemed to deal better with the cold than most other people do. Some years ago, I guessed that this was psychological, a response to my mom telling me to wear a sweater ("But I'm not cold!). But recently I remembered a pain study I'd participated in during college. I earned $10 to have electric shocks of varying severity applied to my fingers. The young researcher told me afterwards that I have a very high pain threshhold and guessed that it might also have to do with my skin's electrical conductivity. So my new theory is that my skin also doesn't conduct the cold as much.

I also read recently about how our bodies respond when we get stuck in the cold. When our body temp goes down, we automatically switch on some mechanisms that try to warm us back up, especially the core areas. Our extremeties get bypassed a bit while our blood is pumped mainly to our head and trunk. This may explain why I ride for 30 minutes on a chilly day in just a t-shirt and shorts and still find myself a bit schvitzy.

Whatever the reason, it's fun zipping along half-nekkid on a uni passed Xmas shoppers. And I always wear my New York Unicycle Club shirt to advertise our group.

Unicyclist in The Onion

2006-01-09T22:51:00.000-05:00

"The Onion" is a satirical newspaper that appears in NYC each week. The end-of-the-year edition included their twenty best short articles of 2005. This short originally piece ran in the July 26th Onion:

Media Ignores Cancer Struggle of Champion Unicyclist
Key West, FL

While seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong's battle with cancer has been well-covered in the media, his counterpart in the more insular world of unicycling has garnered very little attention. "Three-time Tour de Farce champion Nick Ienatsch's battle with mouth cancer is no less real than Armstrong's, and he should be considered just as powerful a symbol of triumph," said Mitch Boehm, editor-in-chief of Unicyclist magazine and Ienatsch's biographer. "He may be a wobblier, somewhat less-dignified symbol, but inarguably, one of hope." Ienatsch, known for his brash, outspoken manner and his smokeless-tobacco sponsorship, claims he is not a hero. "I'm just fighting cancer as any other human-powered-vehicle enthusiast would," he said. "Be he bicyclist, unicyclist, recumbent bicyclist, or pogoist."

Unicycles & Strollers

2006-01-09T20:50:00.000-05:00

When we lived in Manhattan, one of the great joys in life was riding my unicycle while pushing a stroller (or perambulator, to my British friends). There were certain obvious advantages to this form of transportation.

1. Primarily, it's FAST. Even a 20" uni can ride along easily at about 2-3 times the rate of a walker.
2. There is also the fun factor: It's great fun zooming around pedestrians and other obstacles, such as mail boxes or street signs situated a foot or so from the curb (or kerb, for you Brits). This last case involves occasionally tilting the stroller to one side so that the other side is 'flying' off the curb for a moment.
3. It's eye-catching. When that Metropolitan Diary entry came along one Monday morning, my first comment to Shirra was, "Well, it's about time." When I unicycle along without a stroller, many people feign indifference. OK, this only happens in NYC, but it's so silly. I guess they're trying to be cool by not staring or turning their heads (or making some inane comment, or singing the circus song). But when I ride by with a kid in a stroller, their cool completely disappears, and even the most hardened New Yorker is likely to smile and make a comment.

I mention Manhattan specifically because when we moved to Brooklyn, it was clear right away that uni-strollering was going to be a challenge. The sidewalks are awful. When they're not made of huge waves of slate that ride and fall over twelve inches within a matter of feet, then they're old and eroded, replete with holes and jagged edges. But I knew just what to do: I bought a stroller with larger wheels.

I was sad when Emmett outgrew his stroller, because at the time, Shirra and I were fairly certain that we were "two and thru." But when we bought our big Brooklyn house, our initial joking around about the extra bedrooms eventually turned into a desire to have one more kid, and when Maeve came along, I got to experience the thrill of uni-strollering all over again.

There have been some fun times with this "sport" over the past 9 years. I loved taking Fiona to school when we lived in Manhattan. We made excellent time, covering the thirteen blocks in just over 5 minutes. When her brother came along, it was just as much fun zooming around with the two of them. At that time, Fiona rode one of those platforms that attaches to the back of the stroller; later, she learned how to hold on tight to my waist while standing on the crown of the unicycle frame.

Uni-strollering had a couple of mini-disasters, but both of them turned out nicely. One time while on the way to the cinema, I hit a snowbank really fast, causing the front wheels of the stroller to crumple. I stopped in time to avoid hurting the kids, but the stroller was ruined, and we had to have Shirra rescue us (with another stroller) after our movie was over. In Brooklyn, and before I'd bought the stroller with large wheels, Emmett and I had a near-disaster when the front wheels crumpled after hitting some raised slate as we raced, once again, to a movie. We missed the film but had a great time at the playground. Unencumbered by a stroller for the rest of the afternoon, I held Emmett as we rode about two miles home, and he was thrilled to be riding along with Daddy, chatting along the way about the things that 3-year-olds chat about. In the non-disaster category, there is also the fact that uni-strollering kills strollers faster than normal, so we went thru a lot of them.

I look forward to another year or two of pushing Maeve, but there is no chance of another one after her (see my earlier entry about unicycling after a vasectomy), so I'll have to enjoy the uni-strollering time I have left!

Meeting the Odd Unicyclist on the Street

2006-01-08T18:16:00.000-05:00

Today I had the too-rare experience of seeing someone on the street with a unicycle. I was parking my car in my mom's neighborhood when I spotted him walking down Columbus Avenue and pushing a unicycle. Immediately I went thru my mental roster. Who could this be? From behind, he looked a bit like my brother, but I knew it wasn't John. Finally I was able to accept the truth: Someone was about to walk onto my mom's block -- with a unicycle -- and I did not know him. There was only one thing to do: I told my wife to finish parking and ran out of the car to chase him down. Since he was walking with his wife, I reached him quickly. Had he been riding, it might have been a few blocks! As soon as I got to him, I said the first thing that came to mind: "You ride a unicycle, but I don't know you."

He was struck by the oddness of this statement; after all, why should I know him. I quickly explained that I'm the head of the New York Unicycle Club and that I always feel that I actually know all of the unicyclists in NYC. This is clearly not true, for several reasons:

1. There are 8,000,000 people living in New York City, so it stands to reason that even Mayor Bloomberg would have a hard time assembling a list of everyone who can ride a unicycle.
2. There are new people buying unicycles everyday.
3. Not all of these people own computers or know to Google "New York" and "unicycle" so that they could find out club's website.
4. There may be some unicyclists who wish to remain anonymous and who only come out late at night under cover of darkness or who only ride from the East Wing to the West Wing of their mansions.

Still, my e-mail list of unicyclists, most of whom come from the tri-state area (NY, NJ, and CT) has over 200 names on it, and it still astounds me when I see a stranger riding along (or in today's case, walking along with) a unicycle. And in fact, my reasoning was pretty much on target: This fellow had just bought his uni two weeks ago.

Literary types among you may have discerned a comic twist in the title of this post. Today's find, a man my age named Julian, was not only 'the odd unicyclist' but is also an odd...unicyclist. He hails from England, and nearly 20 years ago, he represented Cambridge University as a member of the varsity Tiddlywinks team. And this brings up an important point. Is there anyone who rides a unicycle who isn't, in some way, a bit odd? Are we not all a bit 'odd'? I think that any adult who rides a unicycle would be considered odd by modern standards.

Every time I go for a ride, I guess I'll always be "the odd one out."

But that beats the alternative. Which brings up a wonderful story from my brother's adolescence. Some girl in his High School said, "You're so weird," to which he replied, with a smile, "I know. And you're so average."

My Worst Fall

2006-01-06T17:00:00.000-05:00

There are UPDs, where you lose your balance but manage to land on your feet, and there are falls, where you land on some other part of your body. But when I had my worst fall, I didn't land on some other part of my body; I landed on my son.

My family had just moved to Brooklyn's posh Park Slope neighborhood. Despite its pretentions, this nabe, like most of Brooklyn, has ancient sidewalks of slate. Over the years, trees and water damage have turned some sidewalks into hazards, with slate slabs jutting up and down like crystals under a microscope.

One day we parked on 8th Avenue just off Union. I thought it would be fun to carry my 2-year-old Emmett for the quarter-mile trip home. I had done this before, but never on sidewalks so bumpy. I made a mental note to be careful, but I had forgotten one thing: my unicycle had really short cranks. Cranks are the arms that hold the pedals. Long cranks give you more leverage and therefore more control, but I had opted for shorter cranks because they allow for faster riding.

But the real problem is that I didn't see a slab jutting out just where my wheel would hit it when my pedals were at "6 o'clock." Six o'clock pedals is my way of saying that you have one pedal straight up and the other straight down. In that position, the unicyclist is most vulnerable to UPDs and worse because it's difficulty to correct your forward movement when you can't push the pedals easily.

I was carrying Emmett with one arm, as I usually did, when I hit the bump. I lurched forward, and my bottom foot hit the ground awkwardly, propelling me forward. Realizing that I was going to crash down, I knew there was one little trick I could do, so just before hitting the pavement, I sort of threw Emmett up in the air. Then my elbow and forearm hit the sidewalk, and a fraction of a second later, Emmett landed on my arm, the back of his head nestled in my open palm.

Throwing him up like that, even tho it was just a tiny toss, probably allowed him to land more softly than if I had held him all the way down, and I've always been thankful for my quick reaction. Nevertheless, the mild impact, as well as the shock of the whole thing, brought out some big tears. I felt terrible, and I didn't ride with him in my arms for a long time -- and then, only on flat flat sidewalks. It took Shirra even longer to recover -- she still starts to hyperventilate whenever I remind her of it.

Uni'ing to Beat the NYC Transit Strike!

2006-01-06T00:04:00.000-05:00

[Originally written on 12/22/05]

I had a few errands in a part of NYC called Manhattan today. As some of you may know, there is a bus and subway strike affecting all of NYC, but it's toughest on those entering (and getting around) Manhattan. I rode from my home in central Brooklyn to 55th and 2nd Ave today, stopping for an errand on 28th and Fifth. It was brilliant riding up Fifth today -- it was closed to all gas-powered monstrosities except private buses and emergency vehicles. That was a cool leg of the journey. I also got to dazzle many pedestrians with my off-road-style Cokering.

When the day was done, I'd covered just under a marathon (24.4 miles -- makes me want to get out and ride a few more just for fun) at an avg speed of about 10 mph -- WAY WAY faster than those poor commuters trying to get around today.

Favorite moment of the day (and there were many): While passing a young hotshot biker on the uphill part of the Manhattan Bridge, I asked, "Do you need a boost?"

Riding around this much put me into SUCH a good mood! The iPod helped, too!

Unicycling and Scrabble

2006-01-05T09:08:00.000-05:00

Some of you might already know that I play in Scrabble tournaments. Just as there is a whole unicycle community that most of the public doesn't know about, there is a serious Scrabble scene out there that most people are blissfully unaware of. And while there are a thousand times more people who own a Scrabble set than a unicycle, the number of tournament players is roughly equivalent to the number of serious unicyclists (except in Japan, where unicycling is more of a cultural phenomenon).

At the tournament level, there are still plenty of 'livingroom' Scrabble players who enjoy the game and are happy to ply their trade against others of their ilk. They usually attend their local Scrabble clubs, but they don't worry too much about winning or losing. Further up the hierarchy are people who take the game a bit more seriously but who aren't especially gifted (as well as people who are pretty gifted with the game but who don't take it too seriously).

As in chess, there are player ratings based on expected performance against a given player. If your rating is 200 points higher than your opponent's, then you're expected to win two thirds of your games with that person. The top of the pyramid tends to thin out pretty fast: There are a few thousand people rated around 1000, but there are only a few hundred rated 1600-1750, and fewer than 150 rated higher than that, nationwide. There are only a handful rated around 2000.

I began playing Scrabble as a kid, mainly against my dad in head-to-head games. I discovered club- and tournament Scrabble in 1993, and that marked the end of the games with my dad. In fact, I can't play against anyone in my family or circle of non-Scrabble friends because it's too (understandably) frustrating for my opponent (tho I don't mind a bit -- I just love playing). Luckily, when I could no longer play at the NYC club, the Internet provided a way for people across the world to play against each other in real time, so now I play a few games online everyday.

1993 was also my first year of teaching at Heschel, a school on the Upper West Side of Manhattan that happened to be just over a mile from where I was living at the time. I printed out a few word lists and would study them while I unicycled to school. I also had a hand-held elctronic Scrabble dictionary that I would scroll thru during my rides. I learned all the 3- and 4-letter words this way, riding my 24" Schwinn to school each day. Luckily there weren't too many people on the streets in the mornings.

Within a few years, I was among the highest-rated players in North America; I was once among the top 50. More recently, my rating has wavered around the high-1700s, where it is now (within the top 125). I don't get to too many touraments, and those I do play in are small, local one-day affairs. But I stay sharp thanks to the online games and a little studying, and one day, I hope to return to my sharpest form so that I can pierce the ranks of the upper eschelon once again.

SCRABBLE and UNICYCLING HAVE MORE IN COMMON than YOU'D THINK

Both activities find true enthusiasts only in small numbers. Riding a unicycle gets stares, but so does stating that I'm off to play in a Scrabble tournament. Here are a few other commonalities.

* Discipline: You have to stick with uni'ing for many hours before you're any good, and Scrabble takes many games before you have even a fair understanding of how to take advantage of the 'hot spots' on the board.
* Balance: For unicycling, that's obvious, but all strong Scrabble players understand the importance of rack balance (keeping back certain letters so that you're more likely to score well on the turn to follow).
* Obsession: In order to get really good at anything in life, most of us need to be a bit obsessive. After all, learning all of the 3-letter words acceptable in Scrabble is fairly useless except in the context of the game itself. You don't really need to know that TSK is a verb, for example, any more than you need to know how to mount a unicycle with your weak foot. So both endeavors routinely force me to spend hours practicing something that doesn't generalize to anything else in life.
* Technology: There are more computer programmers in Scrabble than you'd have expected. The same goes for unicycling. I wish I knew just why this is. I think it is somehow connected to obsessiveness and with getting good at something that can be fairly solitary (unlike a team sport).
* Gender: There are a lot more men than women in the upper ranks of Scrabble. Theories abound. My hunch is that it's due to a combination of factors. One piece is the fact that raising a family often precludes some women from having the time necessary to become great at what they love. Another component is that women are probably socialized not to get good at certain things. Studying Scrabble lists is certainly not 'manly,' but I guess it would be tolerated more among men than women. Finally, there is competitiveness. I think that men are inherently more competitive. It would stand to reason, then, that the best players would be the ones who have time to study, aren't chastised about studying, and really care about winning. Unicycling has only recently been seen as acceptable for girls (with the exception, again, of Japan). When I was a teen, I never saw a female unicyclist. Nowadays there are a lot more girls and women getting into the sport.

Here is one big difference. I don't know many unicycle nerds. Scrabble is almost the opposite. At the top level of Scrabble, there are quite a few unmarried men who are unlikely ever to pass along their wonderful genes. Of course, too much unicycling could keep a guy from passing along his genes, too, but that's another issue (see my upcoming post about the importance of a comfortable seat).

Time Out NY Article about our Uni Club, 12/18/04

2006-01-04T18:59:00.000-05:00

I originally wrote this during the Xmas season of 2003:

Today in Time Out New York (Dec. 18, 2003 - Jan. 1, 2004), there was an article about my unicycle club, the NYUC (also known as the Unatics). It features a great photo of my brother with our young friend Emmy riding a giraffe in the background. The article is titled Balancing Act, by Mina Hochberg. Here it is:

* * * * * * * * * *

Regardless of the weather, the New York Unicycle Club rolls on.

Comments like "Hey, faggot!" and "What happened to the rest of your bike?" are just a few of the jeers David Stone endures on a daily basis. Stone is the cofounder of the New York Unicycle Club, a close-knit, family-friendly group of unicyclists who meet year-round at Grant's Tomb (122nd Street and Riverside Drive) every first Sunday and third Saturday of the month, from
1 to 6pm.

Given its association with circus clowns, the unicycle is widely regarded as the freak show of the bicycle world. And although New York is teeming with outrageous characters of all stripes, the sight of a unicyclist never fails to elicit stares, giggles, and heckling. "Some people even sing circus music," Stone, 37, laments.

But you won't find any red noses or rainbow wigs at NYUC gatherings. Ironically, the joke is on the bystanders who watch while group members show off fancy tricks such as mounts, figure eights, hops, spins and pirouettes. More important than dazzling the onlookers, though, the goal of NYUC meetings is for its members to learn skills, share tips and practice stunts. And one-wheelers offer a more strenuous workout than bikes: Unicycles don't have gears, so the rider must pedal at all times, even downhill (expert one-wheel riders can cruise as fast as 25 miles per hour).

NYUC's roots trace back to 2000, when Stone, an elementary school learning educator, and fellow unicyclist Joe Merrill, 40, met at their daughters' gymnastics class. The two men started riding together on weekends and eventually decided to hunt down other uniriders to form a club. After networking on the Web, seven curious riders joined them for NYUC's first meeting, at the Central Park band shell on a chilly afternoon in February 2001.

More than two years later, the club counts as many as 200 members, from ages 5 to 60, and is just one of the 60-plus similar organizations in the U.S., Canada, Japan and Europe. Despite its remote location, NYUC's current meeting place offers an ideal variety of surfaces, including smooth cement, dirt, grass, inclines, and even stairs. Membership is free, and you don't even need to own your own cycle, since there are usually a few spare wheels hanging around.

"For me, a typical NYUC meeting means socializing and helping out neophytes," says Stone's younger brother, John, 33, a freelance musician and writer who pedaled 1,100 miles from Germany to Spain for the 2001 European Unicycle Tour. "The atmosphere is warm, and it's always a pleasure to see so many young riders."

It also helps to bring along a sense of humor: Curious passersby might think you look kind of silly. During a recent NYUC meeting, a double-decker tour bus unleashed a herd of snap-happy tourists, who promptly aimed their point-and-shoots at the group as if they were photographing exotic creatures for National Geographic.

Of course, unicycling isn't just a ride in the park. Since impediments such as speed bumps and potholes are more likely to fell unicycles as opposed to bikes, and because the single-wheeled contraptions don't include brake pedals (though most models are equipped with hand-brakes), it's important that riders learn safety techniques, like making quick turns. "Even if you can ride really well, you still have to keep your reactions sharp and be much more aware of your surroundings than when on a bike," says NYUC member Anne Benkovitz, 38.

Yet surprisingly, while New York City traffic laws address everything from bicycles and tricycles to horse-drawn carriages, unicycles aren't mentioned, which is why their riders aren't legally required to wear helmets, knee pads, or other protective gear -- though it's highly advised. (The city's lack of unicycle laws enabled Merrill, a computer security consultant, to beat a ticket he received for riding his uni on the sidewalk.)

Still, unicycles are quite practical for city living. Benkovitz, an art director for Scholastic, says that one-wheelers are not only more portable than bikes, but also two to three times faster than walking. "Once I rode by a group of guys who were walking on Spring Street, and one shook his head and said to his friends, 'Talk about inefficiency,'" she recalls. "But I got to where I was going faster than they did."

* * * * * * * * * *

Well, it gets off to a bleak start (it's pretty rare that we get heckled, especially as rudely as getting called 'faggot'), but after that, it's pretty accurate. I liked how the group was called family-friendly (and it certainly is), and the description of what goes on at a typical meet was pretty spot-on. The information was accurate too, except for the part about uni-brakes (most of us DON'T have one!), and the little anecdotes, about the tourists, the ticket, and John's ride, were a nice touch.

I am sure that this article will bring a lot of people to our website and to the club.

Welcome Back, Kotter

2006-01-04T17:35:00.000-05:00

On 12/11/01, I met someone who indirectly touched the lives of many future unicyclists. Here is my original post to the unicyclist.com forum.

* * * * * * * * * *
I had the wonderful experience of meeting the person who inspired me to get my own unicycle nearly 22 years ago, Thomas Pennell. He is the one seen riding his uni down a Brooklyn street in the end credits of Welcome Back Kotter, and it was seeing him that made me realize (as a 13 year old) that a unicycle could be ridden outside of a circus.

The encounter: I was riding across the Brooklyn Bridge on my commute when he rode past on his bike and commented that I was able to go pretty fast. He mentioned that he used to ride, and I was just about to mention my club when he dropped the bombshell: "Did you ever see Welcome Back, Kotter?..." I couldn't believe my ears. I shrieked like a teenager girl bumping into Britney Spears at the mall and quickly asked if he could chat. We hopped off our wheels and talked and then got back on and rode together. He told me that he'd grown up in Brooklyn and that he'd been the first of a group of friends and family to ride a unicycle (same is true for me). He was 10 when he was filmed for WBK. I told him that he was my inspiration for buying a uni and that there are a lot of us who remember seeing him at the end of the show.

His sister also rode, and he mentioned that he rode past me to talk bc he wanted to order her a Coker -- she had told him about how she saw me whiz by her while she was biking across the bridge.

So he inspired me to ride, and I inspired his sister (and him?) to get back to unicycling. That is the coolest thing to happen to me in a long time. What a wonderful cycle....

* * * * * * * * * *

Afterthoughts (1/4/06):

I ran into Tom again while he was out for a bike ride a few years later, but he has never been out to join the uni club. He got his sister that Coker, as far as I know, but she hasn't made it to the club either. I did hear from her recently, however. I had put an old friend of Tom's in touch with him after many many years, and his sister wrote to thank me for reuniting the long-lost friends. I was thrilled to be able to help. Certainly the cycle continues....

Unicycle STOLEN!!! (4 Years Ago)

2006-01-04T17:09:00.000-05:00

I wrote this back on 8/15/01:

* * * * * * * * * *

Well, after 21 years of unicycling in NYC, it finally happened -- I had a unicycle stolen. Of course, my first reaction was like that of most people: who would want to steal something you can't use that sticks out like a sore thumb?

I have always left unicycles outside stores (when necessary), but this was even weirder bc I left it in the entrance to my new apartment building here in Park Slope, Brooklyn. 7th Avenue is a lot of things, but it's not known for lots of crime. When I went to take it for a spin some minutes later, it was gone.

Luckily it was 'only' a Torker, so it's not much of a financial hardship, but I'll have to think twice about leaving unis outside in future.

Anyone in the NYC area who spots a 20" Torker with a blue Schwinn seat, just let me know!

* * * * * * * * * *

Note: The unicycle was never recovered.

The Coining of the Term: UPD

2006-01-04T12:58:00.000-05:00

A few years ago, I realized that there are times when unicyclists "fall" (splat!), and there are times when we "fall off but land standing." The first could easily be called a "fall" without confusion, but the second always seemed to deserve its own term. After all, most of the time when we lose balance, we land standing.

So in the summer of 2001, I began using the term "unplanned dismount" and writing "UPD" in parentheses after the term. I had never seen "unplanned dismount" in print before, so I assumed I had invented the term. I definitely invented the acronym "UPD," but it's clear I wasn't the only one thinking about this subject, because there are earlier cases of the spelled out version.

By late 2001 and early 2002, "UPD" was used in common parlance among unicyclists, and it has always been attributed to me. Dutch unicyclist (and avid writer on the unicyclist.com forum) Klaas Bil even wrote a funny note marking the anniversary of its use.

I never doubted Klaas's findings, including the date he gave for the coining of UPD (7 Nov, 2001), but today I discovered that I had used UPD even earlier. In an August 2001 note about landing technique, I answered:

"I have to disagree a tad on one point, JM, and that is about pedal posish.
If the pedals are at "6 o'clock," it's really hard to stick the landing.
At almost any other point it's not too tough, and 9:15 (or if you are a
late riser, 3:45) is the easiest. But I still have occasional 'unplanned
dismounts' (UPDs) off small curbs when I have to land at 6 o'clock. DS"

But going even further back, I found a post written in 1999 called My first major, um, unplanned dismount.

The 1999 post was written by someone who signed on as "ronknapperpub@usa.net."Only 2 people viewed his post at that time (I wasn't one of them). No one put the acronym UPD together until July of 2001, when I wrote a few posts about it including my entry in this thread.

For awhile I tried to keep separate the meanings of UPD and "fall," but eventually they got mixed up a bit so that nowadays people use "fall" to mean the splat variety of UPD and use UPD as a more generic term that doesn't usually involve the splat.

I hope this helps to confuse the matter more on the subject of UPDs. ;)

A Bar Mitzvah before Unicycling

2006-01-03T12:19:00.001-05:00

Just to tell you up front, this post has NOTHING to do with unicycling except that after we attended the bar mitzvah in question, we raced up to Manhattan for the uni club. Oh, and one other connection, but I'll save that for last.

THE INVITATION
Our good friends sent us an invite to their eldest son's bar mitzvah. The invitations didn't have an RSVP, and they were sent only two or three weeks ahead of the big day. More interestingly, the date of the ceremony was slated for January 1, 2006. We thought it was a typo -- maybe they meant January 11? And it was 9 am. Now it had to be a typo. Who would schedule a big event for the morning after most people stay up drinking till all hours?

I called the boy's mom, and she let me in on a few secrets. The 9 am start was a bit of a ruse just to get would-be late-comers to the synagog on time. She told us to get there by 9:45 the earliest. In fact, the prayers didn't really begin till just before 10. There was no RSVP because most of the people in their tight-knit community would know about the Bar Mitzvah, and most would be there anyway -- no reason to give out phone numbers. OK, but was it a typo?

THE DATE
The date was considered quite lucky for two reasons. As it was during a secular holiday (New Years), most people would have the day off and the next day as well, so there would be no difficulty having relatives fly in and out for the bar mitzvah. More importantly, the date chosen was during Hanukah, a happy holiday, and therefore an auspicious day to become a man. It was also the same day as my unicycle club was slated to meet, so we planned to attend the ceremony and part of the party and then rush to Grant's Tomb for the club.

THE SEATING
Shirra had run downstairs to the Ladies with Maeve, so I told Fiona and Emmett to enter the shul on their own and to save seats. This proved impossible, and both kids came back looking confused. There were plenty of seats left, so I took them in and sat them with me near the middle of the temple in the front row. Unlike any other house of worship I've ever seen, this one had most of the activity happening in the wide center aisle (like the nave of a church) right in front of the torahs but about 100 feet away. Pretty soon I noticed (finally) that there were no women in my section. Aha! I had forgotten that in orthodox temples, the sexes are separate. When Shirra returned, she entered one of the women's sections with Maeve while Emmett stayed with me, which was lucky because I could answer most of his many whispered questions and keep him interested.

THE CEREMONY
It began with the rabbi shushing the crowd. Immediately we were immersed in the language of my ancestors. I had grabbed a prayer book, but it was 99.44% Hebrew, so it didn't do me much good. I took note of the page from the people seated around me, mainly kids from Isaac's class. As I tried to follow along, it looked like were were going to read most of the book's 600 pages, but since the rabbi was reciting the prayers with the speed of an auctioneer, I guessed that this might not take too long. In fact, after about 20 pages of straight reading, the torah was brought out from its altar. This signaled that Isaac was about to read from it for the first time as a man, and also that the service was nearly over. He did a magificent job, sounding every bit as good as the rabbi (Isaac speaks Hebrew fluently). The next time we all picked up our prayer books, we were in the 400s. Shortly after this, Isaac stood up for his speech.

THE WOMEN
I noticed that the women's section was pretty noisy -- lots of chattering. Fiona confirmed this later: "They never shut up." On at least three occasions, the rabbi shushed the crowd, but the only noise was coming from the women's section. I was impressed how quiet were the dozens of adolescent boys around me, especially compared to the ladies diagonally across from us. I commented on this to 6-year-old Emmett, and he replied, "Yeah, they're not being very respectful." Later I realized that none of them have had a bat mitzvah -- it's simply not done in their community (unlike the Conservative and Reform Jewish communities), so perhaps they feel a bit disenfranchised or unconnected to some of the prayers.

THE SPEECH
Isaac gave the best bar mitzvah speech I have ever heard. In addition to being a born orator, the message of his words was spellbinding. He thanked each member of his family personally for something specific that person had done to help him become a man. He talked about how each of his elder male relatives had wrapped some of the leather strip of the tfillin around his arm and how in doing so, each one had infused some of his life into Isaac's. Oy -- I was kvelling. If ever a boy truly became a man at 13, it was Isaac.

THE PARTY
I thought my wedding had great food and a lovely location, but this party was stupendous. The lower level of the temple, like the temple itself, had two separate areas. One was clearly the place to sit, eat, dance, and schmooze. The other was mainly for kids and was replete with a mini-basketball shooting area and other games, caricature drawing, candy galore for a make-your-own-loot-bag, and a few other special treats. In the hallway between were dozens of pastries and healthy fruits, all of it delicious. The visual theme of the event was an Andy Warhol-like photo-painting of Isaac (like the one Warhol did of Marilyn Monroe). To complement this, there were Isaac cookies, Isaac cake, and Isaac chotchkes, all done in that same Warhol style, but none of it 'over the top' -- it was just right.

When I had my bar mitzvah 25 years ago, it was a bit different. I had a lovely service (during which my brother failed to make me laugh by making faces at me), but it was sparsely attended because I have a tiny family and went to a small school. There were more people smooshed into the photo of Isaac's family than were at my bar mitzvah. I read from the torah, but really I had just memorized the passage earlier and was reciting it while glancing at Hebrew letters I could barely read. And while Isaac understood everything he was reading, I had only vague notions of what each passage was about rather than each word. Finally, Isaac's party outrivaled my own fantastic wedding; when I was 13, our smallish group all met later at a fancy restaurant called Sardi's (in the NYC theater district) and chatted merrily at the tables. It was more of an affair than a party.

THE CONNECTION to UNI'ING
So how is this in any way related to unicycling. Well, when all was said and done, I recived a total of about $700 from friends and rellies for my bar mitzvah, and while this was relatively low even in my day, it was enough for me to buy a few fun 'toys.' I got myself a cool phone (long since broken) and a 32-person speed dialer (why?) and a telescope that I enjoyed for a few years despite the poor visability of the NYC sky. And with my last $100, I bought my first Schwinn unicycle. But I got more than $10 change when I got that unicycle. I got a hobby that would last me a lifetime and which would connect me to hundreds of cool people I might not have met otherwise, like you.

And If you look in the middle of my tattoo, you'll see at the bottom of the seat post a slightly odd shape. That is the Hebrew letters for 'chai' ("life"), and it's symbolic of my bar mitzvah-unicycle connection.

Unicycling in Wales: March, 2005

2006-01-02T10:46:00.000-05:00

Fiona and I brought our unicycles to Wales. More specifically, when my family visited Wales in March of 2005, I packed two unis in my luggage. When we got to our first B&B, I reassembled the unicycles so that my wife could take a few photos of my daughter and me as we rode across a tiny suspension bridge. Fiona and I also rode around the small town, but the sidewalks in Welsh villages are virtually non-existent, so we had to content ourselves with rides in a local park. Nobody we encountered had ever seen a unicycle up close.

Later in the trip, we drove up to the north of Wales for a unicycle get-together that I had helped organize before the trip; using the unicyclist.com forum, I contacted a few uni'ists in Wales, and we agreed to meet in a small city called Rhyl. About ten people showed up, several on unicycles. The others could walk stilts or juggle. Afterwards, my family went to a quaint local aquarium where we saw all sorts of cool things that had turned up in the bellies of sharks.

It was a pleasure meeting Welsh riders Cathy Wood and Stuart Owen up in Rhyl. Cathy is a fun woman and a really frequent contributor on the unicyclist.com forum, and she and Stuart were extremely nice and helpful to me and the family. I had a hard time recalling the names of everyone present that day, so Cathy wrote me back with this note:

Also present at that first unimeet were Joel Smith (unicyclist) and his father Terri, Danny Cartwright (unicyclist) and Martyn and Shane Vaughn (stiltwalkers). We were also joined by Ian Litherland, juggler, at the end. Throughout the winter the unimeets are going to be held every other week in the Gronant Institute, where we have our juggling club. We hope to get a unihockey team eventually and do stuff like high jumping and so on."

One of the coolest aspects of the whole affair was that the Welsh Uni Meet of March, 2005 became the first of many such gatherings. I thought it was fantastic that I could start something in a foreign country that continues to this day. It makes me feel like Johnny Unicycleseed*.

My family is definitely planning a return trip to Wales in a few years (at most). I'll definitely want to attend another Welsh Uni Meet then!

*Johnny Appleseed is the nickname of a famous man of the 1800s who planted apple trees all over parts of the US. His nickname has become synonymous with a certain kind of pioneering spirit.